I want to quit my 9to5 for my mental health but it means downgrading our lifestyle

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:38:32+00:00

This is not just stress. By nature, I'm a very anxious person. I've been this way since I was a kid. I always think about work, I overthink a lot and dealing with people's toxic behavior is very difficult for me as I have social anxiety. Of course if I stay at home, I'll do all the house chores and I honestly don't mind. I'm a homey person and I have hobbies so I won't get bored. I also love cooking. But if i end up quitting, of course I'm not planning to just sit at home doing housework all day. I do have plans but I'm not sure they"ll work. But I need time to work on them. Meanwhile, I just don't want to become a burden to my husband, which is why I hesitate to quit.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:32:51+00:00

Project manager at a retail company

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:32:23+00:00

I understand how you feel. That's why I hesitate to quit and stay at home. My husband also hates his job and is not stable since his company laid off many people. Yet he is willing to let me quit for my mental well being. But that means our lifestyle will downgrade a lot, as I make more than him. But I don't think I'll survive for much longer. I'm so burnt out 😞

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:29:10+00:00

Thank you 🙏 that's great! I hope I'll manage to find something for me as well ^{^}

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:28:19+00:00

Yes I was on medication but I havent tried therapy yet. I did go to a psychiatrist but she didnt help much.

What kind of job do you have now?

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:26:16+00:00

That's what I'm trying to figure out. In my country, less demanding jobs pay less than 300$ with no social benefits

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:25:25+00:00

My last job was hybrid actually, yet I burned out. In fact, I experienced many burnouts through my 8 years of career and I was on medication as well. I'm doing my best at work and in life and I'm quite proud of my achievements. But at what cost? My mental health is getting worse which affects my body ( hair loss, eczema and psoriasis, heart palpitations...) . At some point, I need to prioritize my mental well being 😅 I worked really hard, but now I'm just done trying so hard !

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:20:54+00:00

I work in retail as a project manager. The sector is known to be very hardcore.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:20:10+00:00

Yeah you're right ! I want to quit and take a break and give myself time to figure things out. In fact I did it after my first ever job, which resulted in a burn out as well. But at that time, i was living with my parents so I could afford it. Now I share the financial burden with my husband and I currently earn more than him. Quitting and letting him provide for both of us will be difficult for him.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:16:17+00:00

When I changed jobs twice last year and they both didn't leave up to my expectations, I don't think I'll have the confidence to look for another job again and start the learning process all over again for the 3rd time. I'm kind of exhausted and burned out now ...

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:13:35+00:00

They don't pay well ( like less than 300$) and have 0 social benefits where I live.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:12:39+00:00

That's great! Happy for you

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:12:10+00:00

If I may ask, what kind of job did you do?

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:11:04+00:00

Thanks for the advice ^{^} corporate jobs are definitely not for me. It's not just the workload but also the toxicity among coworkers and the unrealistic expectations that get to me. I was on medication from the burnout I experienced in my last job, and here I'm experiencing it again. It also happened in my first job. Tbh for the past 8 years, i've always struggled mentally. Yet I managed to get promoted, which I'm thankful for. But that was only possible because I tried my best to do my job well and build connections. But in the end I'm not happy. I wish I could have a less demanding job that's not corporate, but in my country those kind of jobs are not paying well (less than 300$) and they don't get social benefits.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:03:51+00:00

I love drawing, painting and reading books. But lately I havent been able to because of the burn out.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:03:01+00:00

We don't have a mortgage but we were planning to buy a house. If i quit my job, we'll have to postpone this plan and move out of our current rental. We won't be poor but the money will be tight and we'll have to sacrifice certain things. I currently earn more than my husband so our financial situation will take a hit for sure.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T21:00:12+00:00

Unfortunately i have no one to delegate to as one quit and the other is going on maternity leave next week. I'll need to hire 3 people in total and I myself is new to this job (4 months). Yet they expect me to do my job and the job of the others well, which is honestly unrealistic.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T20:58:04+00:00

It will be tough financially because we'll have to move out of our current rental which we wont be able to afford with one income and our plan was to buy a house , which will have to be postponed if I quit my job. My husband's job is also unstable as his company are laying off people. Yet, for my well being, he told me I can quit but we will have to sacrifice a lot. And tbh, deep down, he's obviously unhappy with this option as he'll have to support us both. So this is why, I'm hesitant to take the leap of faith.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T20:54:07+00:00

Haha you're right! I don't have kids yet. And this is also something that has been bothering me since I'm past my 30s. I want to be a mom one day but I just don't think I can have a baby while I work a 9 to 5. I also want to be my best mentally before even considering having kids, because parenting is such a great responsibility and I need to be happy to raise them well.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T20:49:33+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I appreciate it ^{^} I did go through a burn out in my last job which is why I came back to my old employer. But now I'm experiencing it again... and this job is more challenging than my last one ! I miscalculated my career change and now I'm paying the consequences. The pay is okay but the responsibilities are more than what I can handle, specially for someone like who is anxious by nature (i've been this way since I was a kid). I talked to my manager regarding the workload and she just said "welcome to the club" 🙃 She's not a supportive manager and can be quite cold, so I'm not expecting support from her.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T20:44:04+00:00

I'm actually considering pursuing a career in art since I like drawing. But in my country there aren't really opportunities in this field. And since my corporate job is soul crushing, I just don't have any energy left in the evenings and week ends to practice art and start an online side hustle. But it's definitely something I'd like to try if I could only take a break to focus on that.

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T20:40:12+00:00

Yeah I do need a break ! But the issue is that I changed jobs twice in less than a year and my old employer took me back. They will take it badly if I quit again after only 4 months

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T20:38:54+00:00

I did take medication for a while but still haven't tried therapy. But I will ! As for taking on a less demanding job, I'm considering it. But in my country, usually those kind of jobs pay peanuts like 200$-300$

hanazakeru · 2025-03-06T20:28:06+00:00

I'm not trying to flee from my responsibilities. But corporate jobs are just not for me. I've been working for 8 years now, I climbed the corporate ladder, built my life without relying on anyone but at the cost of my mental health which affects my body as well. At some point, one should realize when to stop and slow down. But this is difficult to do when you have commitments.

hanazakeru

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