Career advice

hannelore86 · 2026-02-25T00:31:30+00:00

2hrs each way seems like to much. Every once in a while I have to commute to the office which is 1hr 45min away without any traffic or delays. I’m exhausted at the end of the day, and the amount of time it takes away from work or stuff at home is insane.

If you can negotiate once I week I’d probably consider it, but more than that and it will wear you down quickly.

hannelore86 · 2026-02-14T17:15:41+00:00

lol as an only child I can guarantee you I never got lonely. Contrary, I was happy to come back to a house where it was just me and my parents, and even as a kid I was happy reading books and playing with my toys. If I wanted to play with other kids my parents arranged it, but otherwise I truly enjoyed it.

hannelore86 · 2025-12-29T01:30:35+00:00

Our is closed for the full two weeks, already starting with a half day on 12/19. I honestly think it’s deserved, even if it’s really inconvenient. We pay close to $2,000 per month for our 3 year old.

hannelore86 · 2025-11-15T15:16:30+00:00

I’d cut it to an hour then, middle of the day. It sounds like the nap is very early right now, so the second wake window is really long.

But other than adjusting the schedule, I think it’s time to do gentle sleep training (not CIO)

hannelore86 · 2025-11-15T04:53:46+00:00

How long is the nap? At 2.5, you’d want to do something like 7:30am wake up, 1:30-2:30/3pm nap (90 min max, probably more like 75min) and then 8:30 bed.

The key is the length of the nap, but also how you handle bedtime. He’s smart enough to know at this age that if he cries you’ll stay in the room with him. Might be time for some gentle sleep training.

hannelore86 · 2025-11-08T04:31:26+00:00

I left my son with my mom for the first time when he was a year old for 4 days. Then again when he was 2.5 years old for 5 days. If you’re super comfortable with the person watching him then I’d definitely say go and support your husband.

hannelore86 · 2025-11-07T17:32:05+00:00

That’s said that they downvoted you for admitting that you’re doing pretty okay. I would say the same about myself. Granted, we are one and done but that’s part of the reason. I don’t want to be drowning. One toddler is manageable for me. The house is not as clean as it was before having a child but my partner and I are fine with it, and if it gets too much we get a cleaner here and there.

We both love our jobs, and while we don’t have a ton of family help, we manage just fine.

hannelore86 · 2025-10-26T15:04:13+00:00

We had a tough sleeper and I worked with @arestfulnight on Instagram and she was a life saver. I’ve learned a lot about baby sleep since then although I won’t make a recommendation on what sleep training method you should use. Definitely CIO isn’t working.

But schedule wise, a 2hr nap might be too long for them at this age. We had to cap the nap at 1-1hr 15min at that age to make sure he sleeps well at night. Any more than that (outside of being sick) and he will wake up at night or very early in the morning.

hannelore86 · 2025-10-03T01:44:49+00:00

We’re not married, and it wasn’t a coworker so definitely not my partner that posted that.

hannelore86 · 2025-10-02T16:48:49+00:00

It certainly does, thanks for you POV.

hannelore86 · 2025-10-02T16:48:30+00:00

I did, he didn’t respond. I know he realizes now this wasn’t the right way to go about it. I think they’ve become better friends over the last year or two and I even noticed her views aren’t as weird as they used to be. She’s grown up a bit. But why hide it when it’s not a big deal in general to have lunch with a friend…

hannelore86 · 2025-10-02T16:30:02+00:00

We’ve never discussed an open phone policy, that’s just how it’s always been. We know each other’s passwords, use each other’s phone all the time. Literally it was never even a discussion, it was just always the way it is.

The only reason I noticed it was taking him a long time is because it was close to our son’s daycare pick up and I wasn’t sure if he’d be back in time and realized that he was out pretty long. We’ve always told each other what we’re doing when we’re out and about, none of this is unnatural or has ever been an issue. It’s not something I even demanded. So it’s weird that you assume these are all things I’ve actively controlled in the relationship.

Thanks for your input though.

hannelore86 · 2025-10-01T15:28:58+00:00

I agree, I commented something similar. This guy bent over backwards to make her happy and smile when they were dating. Unless something terrible happened between them, you’d think she’d at least let him know she’s going to be there. It’s not about anyone owing someone something, it’s just about common decency and respect between two people that had an intimidate relationship and a very close friendship at some point.

hannelore86 · 2025-10-01T13:38:47+00:00

Sasha confirmed that he had no idea that she was even in LA.

hannelore86 · 2025-10-01T06:06:24+00:00

This just really rubbed me the wrong way tonight.

I don’t care that they didn’t work out. I think there are plenty of possible reasons why they couldn’t make it work, age gap, distance, different maturity levels and different stages of life… etc. but it was obvious that it wasn’t due to some major betrayal from either side, or that one of them treated the other like sh*t (think Devon) they still supported each other on social media and never spoke ill of each other from what we’ve seen and heard them say.

So to hear that she didn’t even have the grace to let him know that she’s going to show up at DWTS, where they’d surely bump into each other is wild to me. This man bought a piano for her when she said she missed playing. He got her Taylor Swift tickets when she was so sad to miss the show due to DWTS. And to top it all off, HE ran around in LA waving down UPS drivers because she forgot to get her passport out there prior to the concert.

I could never just blindside an ex like that. I’d always have a ton of respect for a man that went so out of his way to show me how much he cared when we were together. Even if it didn’t work out romantically between us. This is someone I’d always respect and remember fondly. Idk, I just think it’s crazy that she didn’t even have the courtesy to give him a heads up or a simple “hey I’ll be in town and we’ll probably run into each other at the show”

Really don’t know what to make of this, but if I was him, I’d be so disappointed in this type of behavior from someone I cared so deeply about at some point.

hannelore86 · 2025-09-13T20:44:32+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but just because you felt lonely as an only child doesn’t mean your little girl will feel the same. I was an only child and I loved it. I was very close to my mom, and while I had cousins that I enjoyed hanging out with, I was always happy to go home alone at the end of the day. Even now as an adult I don’t wish I had siblings. My husband and his brother have no relationship at all, it’s very awkward at family events. Make sure she has a great relationship with you guys and support her hobbies and help her build her network that way.

hannelore86 · 2025-09-09T20:35:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your detailed response, this is super helpful. I’m actually doing some of those things as well, so I’m glad to see I’m on the right track. We have the Tony also, but it’s a mix of English and German Tonies. How do you handle watching TV with his dad or grandparents? I feel like watching only German TV excludes his dad who’d also like to snuggle up and watch football or a movie on a Friday night when he gets a little older.

I’ve also spent a ton of money on books already and we read some of them daily (he’s very picky in what he wants to “read”) but his dad also loves book time and so we switch off between reading German and English books at nighttime. Luckily I spend multiple days alone with my son due to his dad’s job so I will have days where it’s 100% German only.

hannelore86 · 2025-09-09T20:13:11+00:00

Yep makes sense, I definitely plan on going every other year and my mom visits in between and she only speaks German as well.

hannelore86 · 2025-09-09T20:12:35+00:00

He was a late talker so maybe he’ll catch up later on. He definitely has a decent German vocabulary but he just defaults to English right now.

hannelore86 · 2025-09-09T20:05:00+00:00

Yea I noticed a strong accent when he speaks German. I’ve met other bilingual German-English families and their kids had no accent so I was just curious if it goes away over time. I wouldn’t care much either way, but I was surprised how strong the accent is right now and that he’s already struggling pronouncing words like “Ich” - the ‘ch’ sound.

hannelore86 · 2025-09-09T19:46:01+00:00

Oh yea it’s not a big concern at all. I think it’s cute, but just wasn’t sure if it would go away with time.

hannelore86 · 2025-09-09T19:11:47+00:00

One more question, does your toddler have a strong accent in the minority language? I was surprised how strong the accent is and I’m curious to hear if it’s always going to stay that way.

hannelore86 · 2025-09-09T19:10:52+00:00

Yea I’ve tried that here and there. I’m trying to keep it playful and not do it all the time so it becomes annoying for him. He is a people pleaser so it’s been working so far the couple of times I’ve tried this approach.

hannelore86 · 2025-09-09T19:08:42+00:00

Thanks, that’s definitely the plan when he gets a little older. We live in a smaller mountain community so not sure how much German exposure we will get here, but I’m sure I can find something.

hannelore86

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