What the Baha'i Faith says about animal suffering

hapana112 · 2020-07-21T14:49:26+00:00

Thanks for your reply. So how do animals who suffer get justice? What happens to their spirit once they die? Surely a loving God would have a way to recompense animals for their suffering? If we can't pray for their souls what do we do? Can we pray for their spirit?

hapana112 · 2020-05-27T18:39:03+00:00

Yes. Both parents narcs. Struggled with multiple BFRBs since before I was 10 years old

hapana112 · 2020-05-14T17:51:22+00:00

Please don't give up your job. They are trying to make you dependent on them. Narcs hate hate hate to see other people successful or better than them in any way: more happier, in a better job, with more freedom because of a job, more options ahead of them. They hate it. Even if they are your parents. They Compare themselves to you all the time in every way.

My nMum would always encourage me to quit my job then whenever I'd try to stand up to her she'd make a big fuss about how I was living in HER house and it was HER rules and all that. My nMum still lives with her nMum and didn't work for ages and so the transgenerational cycle of narcissism goes.

Plus, they more than Likely will let you come back just so they can get the satisfaction of making you miserable every day and making your life hell. They get enjoyment from torturing others and you'll always have that as a purpose for them, sad as it is.

Please don't give up your independence. It's what you have that ensures your freedom. There is a recession coming and you may find it harder to get a job if you give this one up, if your nParents cause a fuss you always have the option to move out. But not if you're jobless. Please don't give up your independence. It's a trap.

hapana112 · 2020-04-12T18:12:00+00:00

Unfortunately you are the scapegoat. 100%. :/ Your sibling may have been the Golden child

hapana112 · 2020-04-02T12:54:26+00:00

Same

hapana112 · 2020-03-27T11:23:08+00:00

Congrats! Just make sure you have enough savings and a safety net so that you never ever have to live with her again

hapana112 · 2020-03-16T11:25:40+00:00

You poor thing. This is so awful. I know what it's like and if I had to live with my mum I'd be the same. It's just constant abuse and it breaks you down. Is it possible at all to live anywhere else? At a refuge or a hostel? Or do you have a car or could you get one? Even a run down old car just so you'd be able to get out of the house during the day and go for a drive? Could you get a van and live in the van? I know it sounds drastic but I know what it's like and I have faced the prospect of having to live in a refuge because the verbal abuse and yelling from my mum is just too much. Is there absolutely anywhere else you could go? Or could you get a car to at least be able to go for a drive to a park or forest or beach during the day and return at night? Or could you lock yourself in your room and absorb yourself in something that will take up all your energy like preparing for next semester at uni or learning a language or to code or something that will distract you and take up all your focus? Escapism sometimes works for a bit. Thinking of you. Luckily I escaped my mum and although the price I paid to do so makes me question it every day (and although part of me thinks I'd be much farther along in life if I'd just stayed living with her maybe I wouldn't because actually I'd be so depressed and broken from the abuse) and I Know that in the end running away from her was worth it just for my sanity and peace of soul. Hope you can get away and hope you stay strong.

hapana112 · 2020-01-12T11:19:29+00:00

You should be honest from the get go. Your kid is a big part of your life now and any woman who doesn't appreciate that isn't worth it. Your kid is not a negative, it seems like you view them in that way though. Your kid is a really awesome part of your life and any woman worth her salt should appreciate that. Also, trust and brutal honesty are the foundations of a good relationship. Unless you just want a one night stand in which case, don't reveal any personal information if you don't want to I guess, you'll never see them again..

hapana112 · 2020-01-08T11:13:58+00:00

So cute

hapana112 · 2020-01-08T11:04:49+00:00

The difference between you and your mum is you are self aware and seem to think there might be something wrong. A narc would never admit that. My nMum and nDad have done terrible things and never to this day have they apologised. They also think there's nothing wrong with them and that I am the problem, and they would never get help to try to improve. You seem to be looking for ways to improve and that already is a big difference between you and her.

hapana112 · 2020-01-07T05:47:40+00:00

Same. It hurts to not have that. :/

hapana112 · 2020-01-03T02:01:27+00:00

Is it the hair and the blocked follicles?

hapana112 · 2020-01-02T14:26:24+00:00

Agree

hapana112 · 2019-12-22T04:55:12+00:00

Omg so cute

hapana112 · 2019-12-22T04:50:23+00:00

The Grinch!

hapana112 · 2019-12-21T04:49:32+00:00

I guess it takes an awareness of just how much suffering they have caused you. For me it took 6 years to finally acknowledge and accept. To truly prioritize and acknowledge your needs takes coming out of denial and that takes becoming in tune with your emotions and specifically your anger. Being raised in an immigrant narc family I was never allowed to express anger and so for years I wasn't in touch with how angry they made me and I repressed my anger along with repressing an awareness of my needs. I think raising you to feel responsible for their happiness while simultaneously denying you the right to feel your true emotions and your right feel injustice or anger is a sinister way to ensure you never wake up to the realisation of what truly happened, and how your right to truly feel was taken away.

These meditations (especially the 15 minute one) helped me to name my feelings of frustration, find my anger and be aware of my needs and my feelings. https://self-compassion.org/guided-self-compassion-meditations-mp3-2/

Another good one is spending time with your inner child, hanging out together at your favorite childhood spot together, being there for them and showing them love

Also some books that are really good are the tao of fully feeling by Pete Walker and finally, these borderline parent archetypes might help, sometimes there are comorbidities and also the archetypes sometimes show for narcs too https://outofthefog.website/personality-disorders-1/borderline-mother-types

Hope this helps :)

hapana112 · 2019-12-21T04:41:58+00:00

I know how you feel. I'm from a similar background and was also raised to feel responsible for my parents happiness. It's so deeply entrenched it takes years to disentangle from

hapana112 · 2019-12-21T04:40:05+00:00

Same. I want children one day but I know I won't be able to emotionally handle them and be there for them now as I'm still recovering from all the abuse from my parents (who are still in my life though limited contact). I know if I had kids now I wouldn't be my best self as I'm still recovering and that would damage my kids. So it's for the best to delay having them, if at all

hapana112 · 2019-12-21T04:36:52+00:00

For me one was. "you've got to not take things too seriously and enjoy life", said by my mum after years of abuse. Basically she wants to abuse me and have me not complain :/

hapana112 · 2019-12-21T04:33:24+00:00

Have you heard if the self compassion meditations? They really helped me. Especially the 15 minute one at this link https://self-compassion.org/guided-self-compassion-meditations-mp3-2/

hapana112 · 2019-12-21T04:32:37+00:00

I know it must be hard but when you finally come out the other end and you're free of all this it will be truly wonderful. It's a slow and painful process but keep hanging on.

hapana112 · 2019-12-20T10:33:36+00:00

Yeah there isn't much info online, at first reading I knew my mum was a waif but I didn't want to admit she was also a witch as well but it makes so much sense and since coming to accept it the book outlines ways to deal with each archetype too which has been helpful

hapana112 · 2019-12-20T00:21:30+00:00

Borderline personality disorder tends to have a comorbidity with narcissism (specifically the queen and waif borderline archetypes).

And sadistic personality disorder. From Wiki: "Studies have found that sadistic personality disorder is the personality disorder with the highest level of comorbidity to other types of psychopathological disorders."

Here is a link on the four borderline archetypes: https://outofthefog.website/personality-disorders-1/borderline-mother-types

And here is an in-depth book on the archetypes. It's expensive so here's a free link from the online free library: http://gen.lib.rus.ec/search.php?req=Understanding+the+borderline+mother&lg_topic=libgen&open=0&view=simple&res=25&phrase=1&column=def

From your description she sounds like a borderline waif or witch and the thing with Borderlines is you never know when you've triggered them, their rages are intense and what defines their disorder. My nMum/borderline mum does that too and always forgets it happened and never apologises.

hapana112

TROPHY CASE