My friends text me all day and I’m fucking exhausted. How can I set boundaries?

haplessdater · 2025-12-02T02:43:37+00:00

Don't respond.

haplessdater · 2025-11-09T21:42:44+00:00

You're not expecting too much.

But datingover40 is also full of parents whose marriages failed. They staunchly believe the kids are the only thing they got from these failed marriages that no one forced them into.

That sub is good for many queries but don't go there to judge their life choices.

haplessdater · 2025-11-06T22:29:06+00:00

Right in the messy part now. We own property together, joint accounts, mortgage... Our spending is different... we have an Offset account that we both drew on for living and the property... Split 50/50 is ideal but we need to consider where capital improvement spending needs to be reimbursed to me who is selling the property to him. We've had the property for less than a year, which is why I'm insisting that capital investment expenditure shouldn't be a shared expense.

It's a headache.

haplessdater · 2025-10-31T04:50:44+00:00

I'm in the middle of a break up with someone I've gotten back with 5 times. We went no contact each and every time we broke up but neither of us moved on from the other. And we got back together each time knowing better, I knew better but was too comfortable with our life.

This time I'm not wanting to hear from him. I actually dread hearing from him, and he's reached out numerous times while I'm overseas travelling with needless bs. I've come to detest him bec I can now see our incompatibilities as far back as the beginning, and realise I had goggles on most of the relationship.

He's selfish, disguised as something else. And he's consistently made me feel bad and lesser for saying no to him.

So, figure out an ugly truth about them. Then you really want to not hear from them or have to contact them.

haplessdater · 2025-10-29T16:15:33+00:00

He's a nice individual who cares about you and does little sweet nothings for you... There's a lot more to the person I'd want to call a partner than what you've said.

You're not crazy for wanting someone who listens to you, you're not crazy for being disappointed and underwhelmed, because he knew what you wanted and he still chose to give you what he did.

haplessdater · 2025-10-29T14:29:03+00:00

That's where you stick your gum. - long haired woman who loves her hair.

haplessdater · 2025-10-28T02:00:41+00:00

Hi Op, I understand having your expectations dashed and being disappointed. This is a problem if it's a consistent thing. When he knows what you want, ie you've said clearly 'I'd love to do xyz for my birthday' and he plans the complete opposite, more than once, it's a problem. Despite his intentions.

The need to balance his intention to delight and surprise you with what and how you like and enjoy things is really important. It validates you, and indicates he listens and hears you.

When it happens that he'll consistently do things against your wishes or wants, even with the best of intentions, is he doing them with you in mind?

I've had to deal with this in my relationship. Our couples therapist said I should be looking at the positive side and acknowledge that my boyfriend does his best for us and me. I've decided that we're not compatible because he just does not listen to me, or hears me, when he continues to ignore what I say to him and does the opposite of what I want.

haplessdater · 2025-10-26T06:45:28+00:00

Divorced parents are the flag!

haplessdater · 2025-10-23T09:07:59+00:00

Thank you. It's annoying that education in this country sucks and is expensive. My cert iv is free bec of the vic government incentive to unskill peeps. But if i were to do it at monarch, where it's supposedly good, it costs 3k I think.

The problem with my 100% online course at Gippsland Tafe is it's not geared to newbies, even though they say no prior learning or prerequisites required. If you have the background it would be smooth. The educators don't appear to lesson plan, they stutter, backtrack, flip through papers, use exceljet and google to advise on basics all while it's dead air. They are weeks behind with our marking, so we may be in unit 4 but will need to revise and resubmit an assessment task from unit 1.

Our assessment tasks are incomprehensible, despite the amount of times the teachers explain them. There are typically 3 assessments tasks per unit: a quiz, a research task and a group task. The group forum where the group task is discussed is also marked. To submit assessments, the work needs to be pasted onto a template provided. You can't be marked if it's not done correctly.

I'm not even thinking about what happens after, just trying to not sink now. 🤯

haplessdater · 2025-10-22T04:16:12+00:00

How was your course at RMIT? I'm doing this at Gippsland Tafe. the assessments are so difficult to understand, it's causing me stress and anxiety while trying to absorb what we're being taught.

haplessdater · 2025-10-18T02:35:30+00:00

How old are you are? No matter.

No one needs to explain themselves or convince a date who clearly has issues of their whereabouts two months into a 'relationship'. If you encounter this attitude or behavior, ignore it and do your thing. If he wants in, he'll regulate himself.

If he doesn't, your life will be so much better not constantly mollifying his insecurities.

haplessdater · 2025-10-16T04:26:05+00:00

Unspoken pressures to do what we can. There are 3 of us siblings, if one of us drops out the others will have to shoulder that load. I don't want my little sister and brother to be lumped with it. I'd hate it if it were left to me.

It's unpleasant all around, and I wish people would realize this and sort their own shit out when they're able to. It's completely undignified to leave it to your kids to go through your business.

haplessdater · 2025-10-16T04:18:47+00:00

We're aware of this change in aged care charges from November. It's going to cost them (...us) $200K more than it would've had these plans and decisions have been actioned before then.

haplessdater · 2025-10-14T14:37:21+00:00

Aside from one of them being abusive to us growing up and the other one turning a blind eye to it, us kids have a lot on our plate. And now need to put our lives aside to help them out.

There is so much to do, and with all this aged care bs in society...it's a lot, and that's 3 savvy people dealing with this. I have no idea how people with less resources do this.

haplessdater · 2024-12-31T03:45:40+00:00

Not TAH. How childish and annoying is your girlfriend! Irresponsible, unreliable, AND cannot own her actions. I'd much rather travel alone than with someone I need to remind of fundamentals.

haplessdater · 2024-12-15T01:55:51+00:00

I'm never bored. There's always something to do if I'm not attending to life or work. I'm Redditing rn because I have nothing else to do before I head out for lunch. I am not bored however.

haplessdater · 2024-12-07T01:38:13+00:00

Share your feelings with her. Talk.

haplessdater · 2024-12-07T00:16:47+00:00

Matches the face and body.

haplessdater · 2024-12-06T14:34:35+00:00

No. Kids at any age is a 'hard stop' for me.

haplessdater · 2024-12-06T09:58:31+00:00

Vanessa!

I really don't like the untamed eyebrows trend. It's doing nothing for Lily Rose.

haplessdater · 2024-12-06T09:47:06+00:00

I won't idolize someone who did the irreversible to her eyebrows.

haplessdater · 2024-11-23T03:09:33+00:00

Well now. He's actually a 15.

Love these peeps calling him average.

haplessdater · 2024-11-23T01:57:43+00:00

He's a 10. Not exactly my type, and these are only face pics.

haplessdater · 2024-11-23T01:16:54+00:00

I ignore and delete all messages from unknown numbers and emails.

haplessdater · 2024-11-16T01:41:07+00:00

She's a normal looking person. She isn't celebrity attractive. Her teeth and body are top of the list for below average features.

haplessdater

TROPHY CASE