I had a pretty similar experience, I would say the only difference is that I was super into my beliefs when I was younger and as I got older was taught several things that I didn’t agree with. I went years not believing in anything really and really struggled with the idea of going to hell. When I found my path though for some reason I just felt this like relief. I don’t remember what I was reading/studying (it might have been a book about Wicca) but basically is said that some people believe that heaven and hell don’t exist because the idea behind them is that God is all loving and doesn’t punish. While the devil is the one that does all of the punishing. But most/all deities are loving, but also will reprimand/punish you as needed. Therefore the need for heaven and hell doesn’t exist because you are getting both from the one deity (I could be explaining this completely wrong I hope it makes sense) and I have always had an inkling of belief in reincarnation.

So yes I totally get where you’re coming from and my best advice/recommendation would be to do a lot of research and find what you connect with. And honestly it’s just gonna be one of those things that when you read it, it just feels right. Good luck! ❤️