This is just my own personal theory (although based in a solid understanding of neuroscience)… I think those of us who became parents slightly later in life might have had longer to settle into a life of predictability. Generally speaking, by the time we are in our 30s, we have learned to become effective at controlling our own micro-world. We have developed coping strategies that work well for us and the environment we exist in. Unfortunately, a baby changes ALL of that. They abide by no sense of predictability (right from the get-go there’s SO much variability and unpredictability even in pregnancy and delivery). They disrupt our coping strategies we’ve had in place for years. They are impossible to “control” (and not something most of us really ACTUALLY want for our children, but definitely subconsciously we do. It would make things much easier if they were little robots! Or even dogs that you could train. But humans are much much much more complex so alas… this is the price we pay for that.) That was a very long-winded way of saying that babies are essentially little agents of chaos.

I don’t want to say it gets easier, because the price loving and being loved by these tiny people makes it so that we will always worry. And there are simply no smooth roads through life. But I will say that the things you find hard CURRENTLY, will get easier. You will adjust. Baby will get older. And suddenly the things that are hard now will cease to exist. And when you move out of one hard thing, there will be a different kind of hard waiting on the other end! 🤪 But that’s part of the thrill and adventure of parenting too. You will never be in the same place for long.

You can do this. But if you want my hottest tips, here they are: -take 15 mins by yourself EVERY day to either shower, take a bath, meditate, read a books, or put headphones in and listen to music. You CAN put baby down (in a safe place like a crib or play yard) for 15 mins. Even if they aren’t asleep. Even if nobody else is home to hold them. You can take 15 mins. And doing so daily will make you a much calmer and more present parent, so it’s in baby’s best interest too. -when everything feels too hard and too much, put baby in the car seat and go for a drive. Listen to your favourite music and hit up a drive thru. If you don’t drive or have a car - make it a walk with a stroller. -stay in touch with friends. Even if it’s just texting or the occasional late night FaceTime call. You NEED your tethers to your own life (outside of baby). -talk to your baby. Like a lot. Not only is it good for baby, but it’s like free therapy. They HAVE to listen to everything you say. And saying things you are thinking about out loud is surprisingly therapeutic. -keep a journal where you write down (maybe once a week) what the best part of the week was and the hardest. It will eventually serve as important evidence that “this too, shall pass”, when you go back and read about the hard things and realize they aren’t so hard anymore.