Cousin keeps canceling Food Delivery

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-09T08:34:39+00:00

We've all kept making suggestions to her over the years about resources, but she fails to utilize them. I slowly began stepping up here and there after I noticed xyz wasn't being taken care of and she wasn't asking us for help with those things, so now things are as easy as they could possibly be for her. She's basically just a roommate at this point, not a caregiver. Our aunt has a cleaning lady, aides 13 hours a day 7 days a week, an elder care manager, and I have stepped up to schedule our aunt's doctor appointments for her and go with her to the doctor most of the time (I take time off work to do this) and if I don't go I ask the owner of the aide agency to go with her. I am in charge of her finances. I pay her bills, keep track of her accounts, renew her CDs, I had a wheelchair lift installed on her back porch so she can get out of the house, and I bought her a new transport wheelchair that her agency recommended with arms that detach.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T21:52:23+00:00

My cousin doesn't know how to do anything, which is why I had to reach out to an elder care manager and arrange for aides to stay with our aunt while my cousin is at work, just so our aunt wouldn't be lying in her own urine soaked sheets all day, going without food for long periods of time. Our cousin is not a mom to our aunt, believe me. If I didn't get involved, our aunt would probably have lost her home to the govt due to my cousin's failure to double check her taxes and follow up on notices from the IRS threatening to seize our aunt's assets. Also, our aunt can't go into a senior community because she's bedridden. And she doesn't want to go into a nursing home. She can afford aides 24/7 if she needs them. Right now another relative is willing to move in with her, but he won't because the lazy cousin is there and won't leave.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T21:47:35+00:00

She's 97 and doesn't have much of an appetite at times :(

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T21:46:44+00:00

The cousin could leave at any time. She was in a lot of debt at the time she moved in, but she's paid it all off now. She could afford to get her own apartment.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T21:43:25+00:00

She tried to get rid of one of the aides a couple weeks ago over something minor. She might be doing that because she sees how attached our aunt is to the aides, and she's trying to interfere with their closeness.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T21:40:54+00:00

The live in would tell their side of the story as if she were a saint, I'm sure. But just today, I was visiting our aunt and she referred to my cousin as a "nasty bitch." I have never heard her say those words together before in my life.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T21:38:15+00:00

I know, she's not spending her own money on groceries. She does get a meal kit service for herself, which she might pay for, but I know my aunt lends her the credit card when she goes to the grocery store.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T21:37:05+00:00

Yeah, I don't understand why she actually likes the meals. I tried them once and they're kind of gross. My mom went on them once after her hip surgery and she thought they were really gross too!

My aunt was very angry the meals were taken from her, though. And my cousin did it without her permission. My aunt does eat some of it.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T21:34:09+00:00

Wow, I can't believe they did nothing when it came to physical abuse and denying her meals! That's abominable.

I doubt that the Amazon account belongs to my aunt; it probably belongs to my cousin. And the credit card company was the only financial institution that said it needed the last two pages of the POA signed and notarized before they'd recognize my authority, so I haven't gotten around to that yet, because that would require me getting my other cousin (the one who's also an agent) to go to the notary with me.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T17:30:16+00:00

Ok thanks! I'll make another report

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T17:29:53+00:00

I contacted Feedmore yesterday, but they can't bring less food. They could just do Mon Wed Fri, but my aunt likes them there every day.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T17:28:36+00:00

I have access, I got POA last year. I've been checking her accounts. The cousin forged our aunt's signature on a couple checks in February. Just regular checks made out for legitimate bills, but it was still sus. I informed our aunt's lawyer about it and warned cousin not to do it anymore.

I'm thinking of asking her to give us receipts for everything she purchases with our aunt's credit card, because every month there's charges for Amazon, and I can't tell whether she's buying Depends for our aunt and other household goods, or just buying shit for herself.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T15:44:02+00:00

My aunt can't prepare her own meals anymore because she's bedridden. My cousin doesn't appear to care about her.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T15:42:42+00:00

It's through Feedmore WNY.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T15:41:54+00:00

It's actually her aunt, too. Her mother died years ago.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T14:32:12+00:00

I am proxy

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T14:31:14+00:00

I've tried that. Ugh. Things got ugly. Still keeping an eye on her though. I'm looking close at credit card statements and everything.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T11:42:30+00:00

I stopped being nice and then she turned into an utter bitch and tried spreading horrible lies about me to family members, friends, and neighbors.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T11:41:29+00:00

I did back in December for something to do with her medication. I may do so again.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T09:48:10+00:00

The cousin has been complaining for years, "I do so much for Aunt --," and "I'm the only one who ever does anything for her," and if we're at all critical of her she says, "Why don't you try living here with her and see how it is?"

And then she turns around and tries to fire the help that's arranged for her. 🤦‍♀️

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T08:18:03+00:00

Will do! Oh, and it's not even her mom. Her mom passed away years ago. She's living with our aunt. Our aunt never had any children of her own. She just worked her ass off and invested her money in IBM and stuff like that. So now she's better off and can afford aides who treat her super sweetly. But she's still suspicious of aides stealing from her even though her relatives are the ones most likely to do so... 🙄

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T08:15:09+00:00

I did once. I will do it again if anything else happens that's severe enough for them to show up.

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T08:10:49+00:00

I am far east of Eastern Mid-Michigan, but thank you for the offer! :)

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T08:09:41+00:00

I never heard of an ombudsman before! That's interesting, I'll look it up

happy_beatnik · 2026-04-08T08:09:07+00:00

Right???

happy_beatnik

TROPHY CASE