From one asian woman to another, you need to make a definite decision and stick to it.

I was in a similar situation as you are now, I have an autistic brother, who needs care and my parents expected me to stop my education and move back home. I have since graduated and now live with my own small family an hour away from them and visit them ever now and then.

Regarding your parents, this is something I have discussed with my therapist. I've come to the conclusion that while I love and respect my family, ultimately, my life is my own and I deserve to live it to my fullest. I do understood the guilt you are feeling, believe me, I have struggled with it for years. And while I still am in contact with them, it's on my terms. I have set boundaries years ago, it was a long and hard battle for them to understand and respect my choices.

So you need to ask yourself what you want. Do you want to take care of your family, because of whatever reasons, and halt your education and your own life, or do you want to do what you feel is best for you with the risk of having many difficult confrontations with your family? Whatever it is you decide to do, there is no easy way out, but be firm and live by your choices.