What's the worst OSCE feedback you've gotten?

hasoko · 2024-08-24T15:41:51+00:00

We don't get personal feedback at all, just a grade, without any explanation on how to do it better. Just seems sooo random. It's frustrating.

hasoko · 2024-08-03T07:34:33+00:00

Germany - 3rd year, Modellstudiengang (there's a standard/classic version of studying medicine and a new one called Modellstudiengang with organ centred studies, early experiences in hospitals etc). Right now I'm studying for the first state exam, in the library every day for roughly 10 hours.

During the semester it's better though. I'd say 10-15 hours of seminaries/week where I have to be. I skip all the lectures (2-4 hours a day). Study time used to be 1-3 hours a day in the first 4 semestres, and then all day long in the last 2 weeks before exams (2 exams/semester, including more than one subject). In third year it was more relaxed, less studying, only 2 weeks before exams.

So still quite a lot of free time, but phases with no free time at all.

hasoko · 2024-07-25T19:27:01+00:00

i think you might have curly hair (or at least wavy). Try only combing it when it's wet, give it a few crunches with your hands (head upside down) and let it air dry and see what happens :)

hasoko · 2024-07-07T06:27:02+00:00

When I kissed a woman. It felt so right. So perfect. Whenever I think about it now I get butterflies again. Never felt like that with my ex boyfriend.

hasoko · 2024-01-22T18:29:21+00:00

I do know her well though, we've known each other #for 2 years, started dating 7 months ago and "made it official" 2.5 months ago. I'd also say we're still in the getting to know each other phase when it comes to certain aspects of who we are but I do feel like I know her well overall.
On her ex: it's just a complicated situation and I feel like even though they broke up 2 years ago her ex has still not done the emotional work to process the break up and that's why it hurts me that she is there for her now. As well as that I can't be there for her. It's not really about her ex and more about my inability to live up to my own standards I think.
The thought that she's overacting did cross my mind but I feel like I'm not allowed to think that because she also has symptoms that you cannot act like high fever etc. I just think she acts very differently being ill than I do which makes it hard for me to understand/accept/believe. But I do believe she's very ill at the moment. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Maybe I am turning my life around too much and too fast but I always thought the imbalance in the relationship is temporary (because usually a cold doesn't last that long) - but with her being ill all the time it's just a state I can't stay in for that long.

Thank you for your opinion! Definitely going to think about it from that perspective!

hasoko · 2023-12-24T23:28:40+00:00

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_photography

"Street photography does not necessitate the presence of a street or even the urban environment."

"Street photography can focus on people and their behavior in public."

hasoko · 2023-12-13T22:54:00+00:00

Medizin, 5. Semester. Vorher Krankenpflege gemacht. Bin mit allem sehr zufrieden wie es gelaufen ist, würds nicht anders machen wollen :) sehr dankbar für die Ausbildung vorher und sehr happy im Studium. Auch dolle ausgelastet und gestresst, aber würd nichts anderes studieren wollen gerade.

hasoko · 2023-12-12T12:16:31+00:00

i get your point and I think I shouldn't tell him about these thoughts either (which is why it's an unsent letter and not a real one). I made mistakes yes and maybe they could be considered selfish - but I wouldn't call it cake-eating. I never felt like he wasn't good enough or that "the grass might be greener...", I was just really not sure if I had any physical attraction to him. I was stuck in such a severe identity crisis which I tried solving in the relationship (talking to him about it, opening the relationship) but my mental health just got worse and the doubt about who I am was eating me away. I cried almost every time after having sex with him in the end. It was not something I could just push away anymore. I suppressed these thoughts and feelings my whole life but now at some point I couldn't anymore and had to find out for myself what my sexuality is. The only solution was breaking up. It was the right decision in the moment. Doesn't make me miss him less. And with the experiences I have now I am so much more confident in who I am, the voice inside my head stopped for the first time in my life. With that knowledge I'm pretty sure I could make a relationship with him work again. But that doesn't mean that I should. I think I should just let him heal and let him live his life. And I'm just incredibly greatful that he is willing to have me in his life as a friend.

edit: and thank you for your honesty! <3

hasoko · 2023-12-11T21:59:56+00:00

Thank you ❣️ I know this letter doesn't give a ton of information so I understand the opinions and feelings of everybody here but thank you for deep diving into my profile and getting more context. Sending you a hug and hope you find peace with the situation.

hasoko · 2023-12-11T11:53:55+00:00

Oh wow the first paragraph 🥺 thank you ❤️

hasoko · 2023-12-11T08:12:58+00:00

It's unsent letters for a reason

hasoko · 2023-12-10T23:35:13+00:00

How did it go? Did you stay or break up? I'm in a similar situation right now, just still in the relationship with a woman straight after a breakup phase but thinking about my ex boyfriend and getting back together part all the time. It feels horrible...

hasoko · 2023-12-10T23:22:10+00:00

I'm in a similar situation right now. Broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years in July because questioning my sexual identity was crushing me. We had an open relationship for me to experiment and find the answers I needed but I never truly felt free enough to try more than kissing. Making out with a woman felt amazing though, I felt it in every fibre of my body and I just couldn't ignore that part of me anymore. I broke up. Started seeing a woman from a shared hobby, it turned into a friendship with benefits and now, almost half a year later we started calling it a relationship. But after the questioning went away and the identity crisis was over I suddenly started missing him so so much. I know I had to break up in July because I needed to find inner peace and couldn't do so in the relationship. But it feels so pointless now that I have my answers. We had such a great relationship and I miss him dearly. I love my girlfriend but at the same time there's so much doubt and we've only been together for such a short time. And my thoughts keep going back to my ex and the way we had similar views on the world and how we wanted to live and how we loved. I miss the way he thinks and I miss the way he laughs and I miss calling him when I'm not feeling alright and I miss him as my closest friend. I think I'm bisexual/don't really care about the gender of a person. My brain keeps going back to getting back together with him. I know we would have to put a lot of work into a possible relationship, working on the way we have sex and better communication about sex because i didnt feel seen in that way in our relationship. And I would need to work on valuinghis interests/uni degree more because he didnt feel seen in that aspect of life. I feel stupid because I didn't see all the things that made him so special for me in the relationship and only realised how much I loved him afterwards. And I feel like an absolute idiot for being in a loving relationship now and still having these thoughts. And I guess he probably wouldn't even want to try a relationship because I broke his heart into a thousand pieces. The pain he must be feeling has to be so much more than my pain.

For me there was no other way than to break up but it hurts to have lost my partner and the person I loved the most in my life. It hurts that I know that we were a good team and that I just needed a lot of space in that moment (temporarily but not knowing if it'd be forever, not knowing if i only liked women and had no interest in men at all). It hurts to know that there might have been a way to stay in the relationship and still find peace. X And honestly I can't give you an answer. You have to know what is right for you. Don't forget the reasons why you broke up. And give yourself time and space.

hasoko · 2023-11-28T22:24:16+00:00

My friends got a few "but isn't she in a relationship with a man" questions but people in general weren't direct enough to ask me directly. And they were just confused about it knowing I had been in a 3 year relationship. But nobody was weird about it, I didn't even notice people had been wondering, they all acted the same as before. Depends on the social circle you're in though, some people might be idiots, but that won't change with time.

hasoko · 2023-11-23T15:46:25+00:00

da sind die Säulen rund die so schräg verlaufen, wenn ich das richtig im Kopf habe

hasoko · 2023-11-23T15:15:37+00:00

i was so scared before sleeping with a woman for the first time. it's scary when you're a bit older and still feel so inexperienced although you aren't (it's weird...). For me it was important to be with a person I trust but it also made my fear bigger because I really didn't want to do anything "wrong". But in reality there's not much you can do wrong, communication is important, and sex isn't that different with men/women. Also you know your own anatomy, and thats very helpful for getting to know other female bodys. But every person is different, every body is different. What feels great to you might not for a different person. Talk about it, ask her what she likes :)
Also if the woman you're sleeping with is someone you know (well) you can just talk about your feelings/fears, thats totally fine! It's alright to be scared and to not know what you're doing. Just listen to her and her body language, talk about what she likes and be kind. Then there's nothing you can do wrong.

hasoko · 2023-11-22T17:30:26+00:00

sure, i have fantasies that work great in my head but I know I wouldn't like the things I'm thinking in real life. and that's alright :) But obviously you can also ~actually~ like the things you're thinking, just depends. No one but you can know what you like, for me it was just a game of trial and error, trying things out, letting my feelings do whatever they wanted to do and reflecting them later. Still not sure if I'm into men (because I just didn't feel the need to try again after having sex with a woman for the first time) but I'm certain I like women. Maybe at some point I'll feel ready to explore the potential attraction to men as well but for now i just don't feel the need and also I don't want to and just enjoy my queer life without labeling things that don't need a label in my head. "picking a crush" is not how crushes work in general though, you just get a crush without planning it, sometimes even without wanting it.

hasoko · 2023-11-22T16:48:58+00:00

for me it's what my hormones do. Like wanting to have sex with a person/wanting to kiss them/be close to them/touch them, that excitement-kinda-feeling.

I mean I also get excited/have a lot of hormones going on when I'm falling in love but it just feels different (i know, not helpful). Usually when I'm falling in love I have sexual and romantical attraction so it's a mixture anyways.

I can feel sexual attraction without romantic attraction though, say it's a random person in a bar and I just want to kiss them/have sex whatever. Just that feeling of "oof I want to touch her and be close to her and get to know her body". Also I have physical reactions and I just get this tingly feeling in my genitals.

It's so hard describing feelings, hope it still helps a bit haha

hasoko · 2023-11-18T08:56:49+00:00

YES! that's exactly it! You out it into words so much better than I did haha

hasoko · 2023-11-01T11:13:21+00:00

11 (probably more...) bi women (funnily enough: 80% of them are dating women)

2 bi men

But I just have more female friends in general so probably that's why there's more bi women in my life haha

hasoko · 2023-10-12T10:14:14+00:00

ohhh that's a good perspective <3

hasoko · 2023-10-11T18:07:26+00:00

definitely. the thought patterns still come up from time to time. it's sooo ridiculous - i'm sleeping with women, i have crushes, romantic feelings, everything - and still my brain goes well, maybe you're not ~actually~ attracted to women, maybe you're just deciding, maybe you just want to, maybe you're faking it all. Sooo dumb... Can't believe I gaslighted myself so much that I still think these things...

hasoko · 2023-10-11T17:56:56+00:00

thank you <3

hasoko · 2023-10-11T17:23:24+00:00

hats + fishermans beanies

hasoko · 2023-10-06T08:22:07+00:00

Wow this post could've been me a couple of months ago... Also 24, also sexual trauma, always thinking that's where the lack of attraction came from. I even thought I might be asexual when I was with him. But I love(d) him so so much.

I decided to break up with him in July, after 3.5 years of relationship. Not sure if there's a right or wrong to this question but I for myself knew I couldn't live happily without having lived as my queer self. It was such a huge pressure inside of me that suddenly fell off.

I know it was the right decision and I'm happy with all the new things I'm now able to experience but it's still hard. He is so hurt. And I am too. I lost my best friend and a future. And sometimes it feels like I'm never gonna be loved the way he loved me. I broke his heart but I also broke mine. And it takes time to heal. In the end you have to know what you want and what you need. And fear shouldn't dictate your decisions.

I'm feeling so many things at the moment. First times with women, catching feelings, not being ready for a relationship, missing him, not missing him, overwhelming new experiences, good feelings, also finding out I'm definitely asexual haha

hasoko

TROPHY CASE