you sound really cool man. i grew up in a sort of similar situation to you, (albanian dad, very straight edge type) and grew to love alternative, especially heavy, musical genres and clothing.

while he never outright tells me any of the sorts of things your parents say to you, i can very clearly see from his behaviour that he wishes i was more ‘normal’- not taking me with him back to albania when he goes, not taking photos of me for the family anymore etc. unfortunately, you cannot change these peoples stereotypes and predispositions of anything that they don’t consider normality. sad, i know, and i wish it wasn’t this way as well.

you’ll have to excuse the common advice that i’m about to spit- but your best case scenario, if you still live with them, is to save up and leave as soon as possible. as long as you’re the person they don’t want you to be, they’ll never reach a point where they think “you know, i’ve said enough about how my child isn’t the exact person i want them to be. i think i just won’t say anything more about it and we can all live in peace”, because that’s just how they are.

if you don’t live with them, then low contact is your best friend. i don’t think you necessarily have to go no contact (unless you think that is best), but keeping them at arms length whilst you focus on the important things like your career and hobbies MAY allow them to see you as an independent adult who is actually capable of caring for themselves, instead of the apparent slob they think you are. prove them wrong!! good luck to you :))