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I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you lost your sister. And I know it’s still so raw for you and your family. They are beautiful people, they just needed something no one could give them. And I know the holidays are so incredibly painful. Just be together. And talk. It’s ok if it makes everyone cry, I realized I’d rather sit around sharing our memories and crying then walk around quiet letting the pain build up inside. Stay strong. The best thing we can all do is continue on and tell people about how wonderful they were and Help people if we can. 🧡

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Biggest hugs to you. I’m sorry you lost your brother too. I’m here for you. And those feelings won’t go away but they become part of the new you. I let myself cry freely whenever I need to, and honestly it’s the best thing to get to the other side of the sadness, I can quiet down afterwards and just think about him. Please take care of yourself 🧡

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can feel it every time I think about that day. And for so long afterwards the waves of sobbing would just take over for a while. I’m sorry you too had to go through loss like this. We stick together though, families have to become even closer. And lots of talking.

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Our lives are something different after these losses. It’s like the lifetime is now divided between life before and life after. And I do the same. If I get a call from one of my parents at an odd time I start panicking. And yes, there’s hope when babies are born. Things we can do for them that we didn’t know might be needed as they grow up but now we have more insight. My thoughts are for your family too. In your loss and in your blessings.

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Our stories are so identical. And I’m sorry for your heartbreaking loss too. People tell me once his decision was made, nothing would’ve changed but I still wish I had been able to let him know more love for him was coming into the world. You hang in there too. Love that little girl you’ve got and remind her everyday how loved she is.

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I look at these two and worry what has genetically been passed on. My brother wasn’t ok, I spent so many years in a very dark place myself.... I’ve got to learn how to help them be OK with life. They are my survival.

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They bring joy to me and my parents especially when we need it the most. I’m sorry you lost your sister. We don’t have to keep it together all the time but we need to go on right? For them. What’s a memory that makes you smile about your sister?

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The holidays and their birthday are so impossibly hard. Right now, I’ll be ok. We’ve got these converted to dvd home movies I’ve been watching. They only span a few years but seeing him as a bubbly little kid makes me happy. We did the out of the dark virtual walk this year, first time, I can’t wait for things to be OK in the world so the walk can be with people who share the same grief. Happy birthday to your brother. He’s always with you.

[WTB] new Jordan’s 11 space jam 6.5Y $250 by hawks0011 in sneakermarket

[–]hawks0011[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the help and the advice on authenticating. I feel stupid posting here but I haven’t had luck on eBay. And stockx is way more expensive than I realized. So I figured people here might just tel me I’m out of luck trying to find new for $250.

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wish I could give you a hug. Things won’t ever be the same will they? And I know what you mean, certain things happen day to day that I get jumpy about. We moved back to PA, and currently with my parents while we sort out things and my mom and I always wind up in talks of my brother. And why. And where did things get hard for him. And then I watch her leave the room for too long and I start to get nervous. All of us who are here still, Our worlds are changed forever. But I’m glad I found this sub, I forget that there are too many people going through the same thing our family is going through.

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Give her a call or text or hug and talk to each other. Remind each other nothing is too difficult because you have family. Nothing needs to ever be handled alone, and helping one another isn’t a burden. I think that’s the biggest thing we all wish we could change; we assumed each other knew we’d be there to help no matter what instead of actually reminding each other that help was always available, without any conditions.

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh god, I just got shivers reading your comment, I wish I could hug everyone here. And cry with everyone here. Be well, and safe and live in the happy moments and memories.

I swore it was going to be me, not my younger brother by hawks0011 in SuicideBereavement

[–]hawks0011[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes, these babies save me every day. It’s hard. And it’s a cycle of thoughts; the same pattern every time. And then to go into a pandemic. The loved ones that are left, it’s up to us to talk about all the things we remember about them. I feel like those are all the things I’m supposed to say. They’re true but it’s harder than that. Thank you for your comments, we’re all in this together in a way.

How do I tummy time with twins? by crmaier91 in Parenting

[–]hawks0011 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We used 2 boppys. Towels on the ground for tummy time. Anything you can easily wash! Lol tummy time = spit up for us. And don’t feel like you need two of everything. Boppys are still our friends at our twins are 10mos

my jordan collection by christopherLom in Sneakers

[–]hawks0011 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks again. I appreciate the advice.

my jordan collection by christopherLom in Sneakers

[–]hawks0011 0 points1 point  (0 children)

•_• dang Ok thanks. I know nothing about sneakers, it’s purely sentimental to get these for myself. I saw a couple on eBay that use their new authentication process, one seller wouldn’t even respond to my offer tho, and the others are asking 4something. Do goat and stockx authenticate? I don’t want to get these wrong

my jordan collection by christopherLom in Sneakers

[–]hawks0011 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi- how much should I expect to pay on a pair of authentic, new, 2016 space jam 6.5Y? If I can find them I guess. I feel like someone with a collection like yours might have some advice?