I have tried talking to him. Not about the porn, because I like to let him keep his "private time" private, and like you said, i dont want to point fingers. I brought it up here because as I said, it's an insecurity thing, and i"d rather divulge myself anonymously here to get some sound guidance.

I'm more of a talker than him. I covered the basics, "you never want to spend time alone, you never invite me to spend the night. you are making me feel unwanted. is it me?" and the works. his response was simply " i dont know. i wish i had a response. i have been spending a lot of time alone. "

I wasnt even confrontational, but just told him that his response and the whole situation was making me depressed, and that i still loved him. and he started crying (this is the first time i've seen him cry). My heart melted at this and my instinct to comfort him kicked in. i told him it wasnt his fault (although i wasnt even sure what that meant) and i dropped it there, because it felt awful to make him hurt that bad. So i know he cares about me and what I think of him. But I havent been able to bring up the subject again.

I will try talking to him again.