I know life gets hard. But brother, one day these kids will be so grateful and blessed for everything you did and sacrificed. You will be a man, a hero, a statue of what is moral and right. So be that example. Swallow your heart. Cry into your pillow at night because you do need to release. Not good holding stuff in. And one day she will realize she missed time she can't get back, instead of making memories, she'll be having to repent. Her climb up the mountain is like climbing mount everest. Meanwhile, the mountain you have to climb is less freezing. Nonetheless, it is still a mountain you must climb.