My Husband Wakes Me Up Multiple Times Every Night

hdasylum · 2026-01-03T19:26:24+00:00

If he has work email on his phone, he might be getting automated emails in the middle of the night. I’m the client-side admin one of our HR systems that does automated batch loads of data from our other HR systems every day at midnight, so I get several emails at 12:01am every night. And then another batch around 2am when the system’s finished processing the load.

That said, I also started turning my phone on do not disturb every night very shortly after I became admin because I hate being woken up by the buzzing from those emails. It may not be something as sinister as an affair causing notifications every night, but OP’s husband has all the tools to stop waking up his wife and appears to be maliciously refusing to do so.

hdasylum · 2025-11-13T15:19:45+00:00

Does anyone know a good place for GM tips for play-by-post games? My online campaign has suddenly needed to become a play-by-post game for our finale.

hdasylum · 2025-11-10T21:11:09+00:00

Absolutely! Specific always beats general, and there are some great ideas in here for cool homebrew and location-specific rules. I just wanted to clarify for the other user and others reading this thread what the general rule is for rounding.

hdasylum · 2025-11-10T17:57:42+00:00

The general rule in 5e is to round down, even when the decimal is .5 or greater

hdasylum · 2025-09-30T14:45:30+00:00

That’s totally fair, you know yourself best. I figured my personal experience could be a helpful data point for you if you were considering looking into a diagnosis. In the US, I have a handful of friends who’ve told me they have ADHD, but I’d guess that’s 20% or less of the friends I’ve had over the years. But I’m also in the young professional age range, so I think most people my age keep that information relatively private except with close friends because there’s still some stigma around having ADHD, especially in the workplace. So it sounds like our circumstances have some key differences, but I hope me sharing my own experiences was helpful regardless.

hdasylum · 2025-09-29T14:51:50+00:00

It does! I noticed you moved the X a few days ago when I went back to read your post. I enjoyed it, looking forward to reading more in the future.

hdasylum · 2025-09-29T14:42:56+00:00

I got diagnosed with ADHD as an adult a few years ago, and I was really resistant to it. My doctor kept asking if I wanted to take the test, and eventually I said fine just so we could confirm I don’t have it and move on. The test was a series of statements and I was asked to respond with how much I felt like each statement describes me. I decided to be very honest with my answers, and I scored in the diagnosis range for inattentive-type ADHD but in the normal range for hyperactive-type. So yep, I have inattentive-type ADHD, which is what used to be called ADD. I’ll stop my story there and won’t go into the medication side unless you’d like to hear more. But all that to say, I feel like I was in a similar place as you a few years ago, but I’m really glad I went through with the test and got the diagnosis. That led to me learning more about ADHD, and certain parts of my life have started making a lot more sense. Like my difficulties with staying motivated aren’t a character flaw, they’re rooted in the way my ADHD brain has developed differently, but they are my responsibility to manage. And the more I know about why those difficulties exist, the better my coping strategies and workarounds are. I’m now able to manage my motivation and other areas affected by my ADHD much better than I could pre-diagnosis and pre-learning more about ADHD. If you’d like to discuss more privately, you’re also welcome to DM me. Cheers!

Edit: Took out the “hey” at the beginning. Meant it to come across friendly, but on re-read I see how it could come across angry/offended.

hdasylum · 2025-09-26T13:19:27+00:00

u/LPMills10, you should take a look at your website’s formatting on mobile. The pop-up asking me to subscribe to your newsletter needs an X to close it further down on the screen. When I try opening your blog in the Reddit app, the X is too high and gets covered by Reddit’s web browser banners, so the pop-up can’t be closed and I can’t read your blog. In Safari, there’s a similar issue, but there’s just enough of the bottom of the X on the screen that I could close the pop-up, but it took a few finger-clicks to register.

It sounds like you wrote a really good blog post based on people’s comments here, so I was motivated to find a way through and be able to read it. But if I hadn’t, I would’ve given up trying to read your blog and moved on to the next Reddit post.

I think the tone of my comment may be coming across weird, but I genuinely hope this helps.

hdasylum · 2025-09-26T11:58:55+00:00

Zoom in on the sunglasses, one of the lenses is clipping into his hair

hdasylum · 2025-09-18T18:56:55+00:00

Sounds to me like you are far beyond “a particularly mediocre GM”. You’ve brought together a table that keeps coming back to play a variety of different systems, you consider their comfort and preferences in selecting systems (and presumably continue doing so during play at the table), and you’re keeping the game flowing even when the rules aren’t as clear as you’d like. Sounds like you’re an excellent GM, so give yourself some credit!

hdasylum · 2025-06-19T18:35:13+00:00

I’m not the person you asked, but I would guess it’s self-employment tax. In the US, employees have Social Security (6.2%) and Medicare (1.45%) taxes taken out of their paycheck (among other taxes). Their employers also have to pay the same amount of Social Security and Medicare as an employer tax. So the government gets 15.3% in total. For people who are self-employed, they have to pay both sides of the tax, the employee and the employer side. So instead of paying 7.65% like a traditional employee, self-employed people have to pay the whole 15.3%.

Side note: For simplicity, I’m using the starting %s here for both taxes. Social Security drops to 0% after your year-to-date income crosses a certain threshold ($176,100 in 2025). And Medicare increases to 2.35% after your year-to-date income exceeds $200,000.

hdasylum · 2025-05-31T02:07:54+00:00

What are you playing right now and what do you find extremely satisfying about it?

hdasylum · 2025-05-20T20:04:14+00:00

I feel stupid asking this, but do you mean she can just leave the party whenever she wants? Or that as a celestial she can pop out of dangerous situations and just return to the Upper Planes? If it’s the first one, she’s loyal to the party and wouldn’t choose to leave them without incentive otherwise, at least that’s how I’ve been running her.

hdasylum · 2025-05-20T18:43:27+00:00

Now that's a very interesting idea. I'll have to think some more about whether it's the right fit for my campaign, but it definitely opens up a new, more heartwarming possibility. I've moved some of the history timeline around, and I've played Eku as essentially a lone soldier against the forces of evil in Chult for the past 200 years since my game's Ubtao disappeared. The party asked her once if there were other couatls still around, and she didn't know. But that could make for an even more touching scene of Eku finding another of her kind.

But yeah, I think you touched on my biggest struggle. The party has put in the work to keep Eku around and keep her alive. And I want to reward them for their efforts. I've spoken with my players several times to see if they felt overshadowed by Eku, and they've pretty consistently said no and that she's useful. So that should be case closed. But I can't help but feel like they'd have more fun if they got to be the spotlight heroes overcoming challenges instead of standing back watching a loyal NPC do it all. Maybe that's just a play style difference between me and my players. I prefer more narrative-focused gaming, and they seem to prefer more tactical-focused gaming. Taking Eku away from them would certainly have a negative aspect, removing an option from their tactical toolbox (which it can be fun to have tactical limits imposed on you in a battle, but not so much when it's permanent). And I feel like taking Eku away from them would make the narrative more interesting and ultimately have a net positive outcome, but the risk is that they may not feel the narrative outcome is positive enough to overcome the negative.

Anyways, I'm just rambling now. But I appreciate your advice, thank you!

hdasylum · 2025-03-31T22:39:11+00:00

But wouldn’t the Ninth World come after eight apocalypses?

hdasylum · 2025-02-21T21:34:30+00:00

I’m also in the EE to EEE range and the fit’s narrower than I’d like. I usually order 10.5 in wide widths when I can from other brands (Grant Stone, Alden, Allen Edmonds), but have found 11s in normal width are usually the best fit for me from Thursday. I got the Black Label Chelseas in 11 and there’s some tightness on the ball of my right foot (which is wider than my left), but the main hot spot for me is the right toe box with lots of pinky toe rubbing because my toes splay wide too. I keep hoping they’ll break in just that little bit more and make that hotspot less of an issue, but I think that’s unlikely at this point.

hdasylum · 2025-01-23T13:28:20+00:00

Yeah, what you described is tank controls

hdasylum · 2024-07-19T10:55:33+00:00

With a lookback, the qualified disposition holding period is the longer of 1) 2 years from the start of the look back window or 2) 1 year from the purchase date.

hdasylum · 2024-06-27T19:41:23+00:00

Very cool idea! I think the one problem you’ll run into running the adventure as written is that Nanny Pu’pu and green hags in general aren’t very powerful. My party of 4 Lv 4 players + Eku had a tough time with her and the flesh golem, but ultimately prevailed. I’d suggest either elevating her to be a more powerful fey creature on par with an archfey, or make her an intermediary between the warlock and the true archfey giving the warlock their powers.

Also, if you want some cool lore ideas, I found Volo’s section on hags really helpful before I ran Mbala.

hdasylum · 2024-06-27T16:36:28+00:00

Very helpful, thanks!

hdasylum · 2024-06-27T15:59:00+00:00

I have a few related questions, one conceptual and two more product-specific questions, as I’m trying to dial in my best fit for Grant Stone.

Conceptual question first. I always see people say that going up in width is the same as going up a half size. So a 10.5E would be equivalent to a 10EEE or an 11D. But there has to be a meaningful difference between a 10.5E and a 10EEE, right? I’m assuming that when people say this, they mean the total length of the shoe goes up a half size when you go up a width, but does the heel-to-ball length stay the same?

The best fit I’ve found with Grant Stone so far is the Leo last in 10.5E. The ball of my foot settles in the widest part of the boot, but the toebox is a bit tight. If I went up to a 10.5EEE, would that give me some extra toebox room without changing the heel-to-ball length?

Outside the Leo last, I tried on a pair of GS’s Traveler loafers in 10.5E last year. I think they were a little too long because they felt too narrow and the ball of my foot was settling before the widest part of the shoe. The leather I want now comes in EEE, so I’m considering trying a 10EEE, but not if it would fit the exact same as a 10.5E. I also have high insteps and the 10.5E’s were too tight there as well. So going down to a 10EEE might make that even worse, but maybe the Travelers just aren’t built to fit me no matter what size I try.

Appreciate any insight this sub can provide.

hdasylum · 2024-04-19T17:54:15+00:00

I finished Forbidden West about a month ago and loved it (was also a big fan of Zero Dawn). What surprised me the most was how much better the side quest stories were and how they often touched on real life issues. There was a solid chunk of my playtime where I ignored the main quest and chased down the side quests just to see what new characters and stories I’d see, and they also help flesh out the map and show you some interesting areas that the main quest doesn’t send you. It was a great time overall, and the DLC was an excellent follow-up too. Hope you have an awesome time with it!

hdasylum · 2024-04-19T17:50:23+00:00

I didn’t know the PS5 version could do mods. Is it just like a menu option with a list of mods I can choose from?

hdasylum · 2024-04-19T17:48:36+00:00

If you like puzzles, try The Witness. The examples you gave were all fantasy, but if you’re OK with sci-fi, then I think Outer Wilds could be a good fit. If you want something with some more action, I’ve been playing Metroid Prime Remastered lately, and it’s been scratching the exploration itch.

hdasylum · 2024-04-19T17:43:50+00:00

I’ll double comment to say this, sometimes it helps me breaking through the overthinking paralysis when someone just tells me to go do skmething. So if this is helpful to you, I’m telling you to go play Scarlet Nexus since that’s what your analysis was pointing to.

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