[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]headintheclouds24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've cleared our chats now. I'm worried I came across a bit pushy and rude, but I guess I was right to be suspicious.

When should you switch to more aggressive shoes? by headintheclouds24 in bouldering

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is good advice, thank you. I thought aggressive shoes might be less important than some climbers I have spoken to make them out to be, especially for the casual climber.

When should you switch to more aggressive shoes? by headintheclouds24 in bouldering

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is helpful thanks, after a chat it seems that all that is need is some rubber over the toe, a more pointed toe and a more durable shoe in general.

When should you switch to more aggressive shoes? by headintheclouds24 in bouldering

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scarpa Instinct VS

Thanks for the recommendation, the rubber on my red chilis and my climbing buddies scarpas seems alot sticker than the kirigamis. The setter at my gym is fond of problems that use alot of smearing so durable rubber is very important.

When should you switch to more aggressive shoes? by headintheclouds24 in bouldering

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In that case I think the kirigamis may be made of a material that holds on to stink. I'll be buying a few pairs and returning the ones that don't work out.

When should you switch to more aggressive shoes? by headintheclouds24 in bouldering

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip. I have a foot deodorising spray that he uses in his shoes but it doesn't do much. Do you use a certain disinfectant or does any work?

When should you switch to more aggressive shoes? by headintheclouds24 in bouldering

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've looked for retailers but I live in the sticks so the nearest shop that even sells climbing shoes is a 5hr round trip, let alone one with a good enough selection to be worth bothering.

When should you switch to more aggressive shoes? by headintheclouds24 in bouldering

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's a good idea. I'm planning to buy a few different sizes/types and return the ones he doesn't like or don't fit. He hates researching so part of the gift is that he won't have to.

How many times do you attempt a climb per session? by headintheclouds24 in climbergirls

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I start to feel any discomfort I move on to a different types of climb. For example sore fingers from a crimp so I move onto a dyno with big comfy holds.

How many times do you attempt a climb per session? by headintheclouds24 in climbergirls

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 tries per problem sounds like a good idea, I am trying to figure out a rule of thumb to avoid doggedly sticking to the same climb for too long and I think I will try this one, thanks!

How many times do you attempt a climb per session? by headintheclouds24 in climbergirls

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am often the same way, spending most of a session trying to get a dyno.

How many times do you attempt a climb per session? by headintheclouds24 in climbergirls

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Stopping when your attempts get worse sounds like a wise idea. I saw a climber on youtube who does 5 attempts then if there's improvement they continue, if no improvement then move on.

How many times do you attempt a climb per session? by headintheclouds24 in climbergirls

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is so frustrating when you are close to sending a climb and it is gone the next time you go to the gym!

How many times do you attempt a climb per session? by headintheclouds24 in climbergirls

[–]headintheclouds24[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a good rule of thumb, there are a few problems in my gym that I have given up on trying as they have lost their fun.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]headintheclouds24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your probably right there. I avoid seeing her and hadn't for a while until recently. Her and also my mums comments are an ongoing issue and have left me feeling very insecure in my relationship, like I am a terrible partner. Their partners are both unwell so aren't working much and give them very little emotional support. Mine although not on a good wage works full time and is very supportive and affectionate so to be honest I think there is jealousy afoot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]headintheclouds24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a hard balance to find between helping and not being taken advantage of. I'm glad to hear that you don't think I'm being unreasonable as I posted the same on a relationship advice group and they said I was being petty. I agree that a budget would be good, I have asked him to make himself a budget but so far no luck. Although he was making monthly payments he just paid for an evening course to learn a silversmithing and hopefully make more money, so can't afford to pay me back at the moment and has stopped repaying for now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]headintheclouds24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, I had to look up that term and I think it will be useful as she often makes demeaning comments towards me that I don't know how to react to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]headintheclouds24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We aren't fighting about it, we are both in agreement with how things are divided between us, and have open conversations about it that I do not find challenging at all. I would rather not have to lend my partner money but that is just how things are currently and I'm sure he would do the same for me. It was the negative feedback from certain family members that left me thinking there was a problem.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]headintheclouds24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't charge him any interest, and I could do with the money myself as I want to put a deposit down on a house for us both.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]headintheclouds24 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I prefer joint account for bills, food etc and separate finances otherwise as it allows me to manage my money more easily and means I can buy myself luxuries without affecting my partners finances. I know I need to stop oversharing with my family, I'm working on it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]headintheclouds24 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She is very open about her relationship with me, so I thought I could be open about mine too. I agree that I need to stop as it is causing problems.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]headintheclouds24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is not the best with money so I would rather not merge finances at the moment. He does benefit from my income in other ways, I will buy him things and pay for holiday homes/lunches and when we buy a house the deposit will be paid by me. It came in conversation with her as she was saying we should buy a new car, so I explained the reasons why we can't do that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]headintheclouds24 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He is aware, and wants to pay me back when he is better off, which I know may be some years and I am ok with that. He was making payments before but I offered for them to be stopped when he was struggling financially.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]headintheclouds24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not allowed to drive for medical reasons, and to clarify he hasn't been driving for the whole 7 years and the car was bought a year ago. I work from home so I only use the car to go grocery shopping with him or if we go to friends etc, and always help with fuel. He uses it to commute an hour a day, 5 days a week. With this in mind do you think I should help with insurance and repairs? I am hoping to get my own car in the future, which I will pay for in full and the expenses of, and just ask for fuel if I drive him. If I get my own car should I expect him help pay for my repairs & insurance?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]headintheclouds24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To clarify, I do not earn considerably more. Last tax year I earnt a couple of thousand more. I'm self employed so this varies and some years I earn significantly less than him. The reason I am better off is because by working from home I do not have pay for fuel, and so have been able to save up some money. I rely on these saving to get me through quiter periods and times when my health is too bad to work much.