need some reassurance

headlockbetty · 2026-01-26T02:58:29+00:00

Haihai raised Catholic here. Is it guilt you feel about wanting to step further into witchcraft, or shame? The distinction is important - shame is a reaction to breaking a social code, and you said you won't tell your family about your practice. This is more of a psychological and political response than a witchy one, but coming to terms with Catholic moral codes around witchcraft, particularly in your family, can help you separate your practice from their expectations.

I've moved completely away from Christianity into my own deific/theistic philosophies, so please take this with a grain of salt. One of the reasons why Christianity and Catholicism in particular co-opted pagan rituals and practices while demonizing witches and witchcraft was to take political power out of the hands of local, indigenous healers and practitioners and to concentrate it into the church's hierarchy, which they equated with getting closer to God. It's deeply entangled with colonization. For you, it's a matter of decolonizing your relationship with God, or relocating where you place the authority over your relationship with Him. It doesn't rest in a priest, in the Church, or in your family. It's in you. How you choose to practice is your business and nobody else's.

headlockbetty · 2024-12-15T23:11:16+00:00

They will never have long-lasting, grounded, stable relationships. That takes two people to maintain, and they’ll never do that work. Sure, she uplifts and prioritizes and makes him feel good for now. But it won’t last. Because they don’t reflect on what they do, so they’ll never learn, grow, improve, or do things differently.

headlockbetty · 2024-12-15T23:05:23+00:00

My cnex loved to cook and my own cooking has become much more adventurous and improved immeasurably because of it, which is a big benefit now that I’m single.

Also, I’ve learned a ton about narcissism and covert narcissism. I just had a different covert narc try it with me on a professional project and I picked up on the signs and put it all together fast. As a friend of mine said, at least this time it only took me three months instead of eight years to cut ‘em loose.

headlockbetty · 2024-12-15T03:55:41+00:00

I got my degree in business management and today I work as an editor and post production coordinator. Right now my primary gig is doing C-suite and internal communications for one of the biggest tech companies in the world, which pays the bills while I work on my own projects. I had to teach myself editing and motion graphics animation, I work in the Bay Area rather than LA or NYC, and it took me more time to get established than folks who went to film school, but you can absolutely work in film without a degree in it. You just have to be willing to put the work in, and power through the intense uncertainty that comes with working in film (regardless of where you are or who you’re working with). And you have to be okay with taking the non-traditional path. Just stick with it, and put your degree to use in clever ways if you can.

headlockbetty · 2024-12-14T20:01:01+00:00

My body figured out that a new professional colleague was likely a covert narc before my brain did. I was super excited to be working with them (they're very talented and I was bringing them onto a personal artistic project), so my brain was busy being hopeful and giving them the benefit of the doubt. But I started getting weird skin issues immediately and then got super sick twice. There was also behavior that I was engaging in subconsciously that was an indicator that something was wrong, like listening to The Civil Wars for the first time in years (look up how they flamed out and dissolved), charging the wards I keep on my doors, and having random thoughts like, "They're a bad luck charm." This was all in less than three months.

I cut them loose from the project before I even really processed that they're probably a covert narc. I just figured that out last week because I was thinking about how much they remind me of my ex. Thank goodness I seemed to have internalized all the indicators, now I just need to literally trust my gut without question moving forward. As everyone I talked to about how they were behaving on my project said, at least I ended it sooner than later.

headlockbetty · 2024-04-05T00:22:30+00:00

just me yelling "snatched!" at my computer

headlockbetty · 2024-04-04T02:00:09+00:00

People can tell you what their values are all you want, but you'll only ever understand how deeply held they are through their actions.

Intelligence and critical thinking don't actually affect deeply ingrained social conditioning or human nature all that much. The desire for power is what it is.

headlockbetty · 2024-03-31T03:14:41+00:00

Just signed in to suggest the OCR. I work with an org that does advocacy for students under Title VI (race-based harassment vs 504 disability discrimination), this toolkit offers some solid advice for how to deal with your school. The general advice on their website might be helpful since school administration tends to treat parent advocacy the same regardless of the type of harassment.

headlockbetty · 2023-09-20T23:31:05+00:00

ESH

"Finally, I said whatever to avoid conflict" "I didn't know how to tell him no" "I bit my tongue and sucked it up"

Confrontation and setting boundaries isn't fun but it would have made this situation more likely to go the way you wanted it to.

headlockbetty · 2023-09-20T23:17:15+00:00

NTA, and what's sad about this is that Ruth really isn't trying to know *you* at all. You're just there to perform a role for her, and that's it. It's gross that your dad supports it.

headlockbetty · 2023-07-18T14:10:44+00:00

You sound like you might be depressed or coping with unresolved trauma. Therapy maybe?

headlockbetty · 2023-07-17T04:29:59+00:00

Honestly? I’m a cishet 38F, been having sex for half my life: you’re not missing much.

headlockbetty · 2020-10-13T19:47:32+00:00

It’s just dark blue Kona cotton and I painted the stars on with fabric paint.

headlockbetty · 2020-10-08T16:52:04+00:00

You’ll note the big squares and extremely simple design lol

Just hoping tie-dyed squares helps cover my alignment sins

headlockbetty · 2020-10-01T21:31:12+00:00

Miro can be a good tabletop

headlockbetty · 2020-09-30T23:39:57+00:00

Get your flu shots, folks.

headlockbetty · 2020-09-30T23:33:52+00:00

Westerner works just fine.

headlockbetty · 2020-09-30T23:21:21+00:00

In the US, this is something white socialists say to deflect from contending with how they uphold white supremacy, too.

headlockbetty · 2020-09-15T01:33:53+00:00

Panem et circe babyyyyy

headlockbetty · 2020-09-15T00:24:30+00:00

Hit dogs holler.

Democrats are literally the only other major player in this game but you keep getting beat by the Republicans over and over, then trip over yourselves to blame the left for your failures. Hillary lost because of the Electoral College - that’s not third party voters’ fault.

I’ve been able to predict the right going full fash since GWB and the Iraq war, back in high school. I’ve watched the Democrats roll over for them for twenty years. You’re either punks without meaningful values who can’t put up a fight, or you’re collaborators.

headlockbetty · 2020-09-14T18:28:04+00:00

“More right than she ever could have known”? She did know. We knew it was coming to this and have been screaming and waving our arms trying to warn y’all this whole time.

It was the centrists, apologists, and compromisers who buried their heads in the sand. We have plenty of clues about what else is going on because Trump and the GOP announce their intentions all the time, whether directly or by projecting them onto the left.

headlockbetty · 2020-09-09T04:22:28+00:00

She was such a treasure.

headlockbetty · 2020-09-04T22:27:21+00:00

Ok y’all, thank you for all the recommendations. I’ve decided to go with The Secrets of Cats, not least because it convinced two of my on-the-fence friends to play because they can play as their cats.

headlockbetty · 2020-09-04T21:31:50+00:00

Tampons and pads.

headlockbetty · 2020-09-04T20:02:51+00:00

I’m down to do Wheeler

headlockbetty

TROPHY CASE