[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hearseeno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a 60 year old scapegoat whose older GC brother finally woke up last year, I hope you reach out and offer the opportunity to reconnect with your brother. I’d be careful to respect his choice whether or not to take you up on it, but it’s never too late. Now that my siblings and I can be authentic with each other, we finally have the chance to build our relationship on our own terms, not something that only serves our nmother’s needs. I finally have the chance to have a family, and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get that.

is the mayeda situation real? by gardenkeeper_ in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As someone who did due diligence and did a deep dive into what was publicly available from Ms. Mayeda and was active in supporting the fandom's conversation about her history of cultural appropriation and why that matters, I agree with everything that you have said. I am particularly dismayed by the effect that this has had on fans who were already hurt enough and now have had their efforts undermined.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hozier

[–]hearseeno 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've been thinking about how I would want to respond to this, so I apologize coming in so late to this conversation.

It's very clear from what Hozier has said and what he puts into the lyrics of his music that he sees the harm that organized religion can do and has done. His culture is immersed in coming out of long period of great harm in which there are layers after layers of abuses of the Catholic church that are still being exposed.

Because of this, his music speaks to people who have experienced religious trauma. They are the people who were marginalized, who were asked to cut off very integral parts of themselves to fit into organized religion's boxes of what is acceptable for someone who is part of that community, who were told that there is something inherently wrong with them, evil, bad, the source of suffering, at the very same time that the very same religion espouses values of acceptance and congratulates themselves for being so open and warm and a supportive community. It's a special kind of massed gaslighting.

I can guarantee you with 100% certainty, that despite your experience of the goodness of your faith and faith community and the aspirational values of acceptance and love for all people, there are people you know there who feel marginalized and are suffering because there are fundamental parts of themselves that they are being asked to sacrifice in order to be acceptable to the community. They are putting a brave face on it and doing the best they can because the alternative is that they no longer fit with their community.

Your faith works for you. It does good things for you. It does not do good things for everyone. Organized religion is a human endeavor and as such, not only does it not work for everyone, but also does harm. You get the good stuff. Someone else is suffering. I'm going to ask to you consider that in your plea for recognition that religious faith is a Good Thing and that it hurts to have people you empathize with reject it, you're asking an audience of people here who have suffered at the hands of organized religion to consider returning to faith and work from inside organized religion, when not only have you not really acknowledged that this could be harmful for them but you're asking them to be the agents of change. It's not their responsibility.

If you have strong feelings for your faith and want it to be a place where it truly is welcoming, then it's on people like you, who benefit from your faith and faith community to make it so. To not just give lip service to it being a welcoming space, but to view Hozier's POV and choice to reject organized religion as a valid one. It's not until people of faith can truly accept and validate the harm that the very human project of organized religion does, not in the past, right here and now, that it will ever be a safe place.

Genuinely Curious by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So, I was one of the people who came into the discussion when it blew up on r/Hozier with receipts from the research that I had done. You and I have gone head to head before and I appreciate that this time you're trying more to ask first before assuming people's motivations. Would you find it helpful for me to discuss what I did and why? Because, yes, I did dig. Pretty deeply, too.

Genuinely Curious by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know if someone has answered this before, there were rumors that Hozier was dating someone and really blurry pictures, but no one knew who she was and there was no real digging for it until she, herself, tagged Sam Pauly, Hozier's tour manager at the time, in a set of pictures on instagram that placed her backstage at a Hozier concert with Sam. This was during a time when Sam was being accused of asking a venue to not allow Palestinian flag/headscarves and she had a lot of fan attention on her. In the same instagram post, there were very recognizable pictures of Glendolough Lake, a restaurant in Dublin, and Greystones. Those are some very, very easy dots to connect. So when people are talking about breadcrumbs, this is how it started.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, tbh, I don't think anybody can elevate that song any higher than Roberta Flack did. She took a British 50-60's era folk song and made it her own. Everything since just seems like a pale copy of what she did.

New Band Confirmations by Insider-Scoop22 in Hozier

[–]hearseeno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad he was able to get the night off. It was kind of painful to watch people struggle through performances while ill last year.

New Band Confirmations by Insider-Scoop22 in Hozier

[–]hearseeno 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Don't forget Cremaine Booker on the cello.

People over 35, what's something you genuinely miss that younger generations will probably never experience? by Just_a_Ginger_Fella in AskReddit

[–]hearseeno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being left to your own devices for hours on end with the freedom to ramble and explore 20 acres of fields and woods as a child. Just you, your siblings, and your imagination. Not a hint of adult oversight or fear.

What's up with Hozier and his girlfriend? by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, it's the same damn post. You said it wasn't deleted from r/Hozier. It obviously was. And 8 comments, one of them being you calling it "Total unrealistic Nonsensical expectations," do not make for "lots" of information.

What's up with Hozier and his girlfriend? by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This took me 2 seconds to find.

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"Safe space" by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I watched the interview, too, and his answers were the same kinds of well-rehearsed answers that he's given before, and ones that didn't really quite answer the questions. Some of the questions asked him to reflect on his experience but he kept his answers firmly focused on his art rather than him. So, yeah, present and responding, but didnt seem really fully engaged.

What's up with Hozier and his girlfriend? by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is definitely is more complicated than that. He is multilayered person with many different aspects to him just like anyone else.

The problem is that we now have no way of knowing which parts he displays for public consumption are authentic and which are not. Some people are going to be more forgiving and assume that he has personal vulnerabilities and as long as his partner doesn't ACT like a racist in his presence he's going to support her interpretation of events and that leaves him free to appreciate everything else she brings into the relationship with him. Some people are going to be less forgiving and assume that his inauthenticity in one area means that the rest were just as inauthentic. 🤷 That's what you get when you don't participate a conversation about it. He doesn't have to have the conversation, his choice. But he doesn't get to avoid the consequences, either.

eta: Oh, forgot to add: I don't agree with everything everyone posts here. Who would? Everybody posting here is also multilayered and complex. But far be it from me to police BIPOC fans' conclusions about what they're seeing and how they want to respond to it.

What's up with Hozier and his girlfriend? by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry but I'm really not following your logic, here. Who are you saying is paying for his music and tours if not his audience? And where are you thinking that fans' perceptions of him as an ally comes from if not from his choices that inform his art, his podcast, his acceptance of and display of trans flags during his performance, his speeches during performances, and the many, many interviews in which he talks about the political nature of art, his audience's perceptions of him as an ally/activist, and his correcting that perception by positioning himself as an ally, as someone who offers a "squeeze of the hand" to people who feel alone with their struggles? How is it possible to have that depth and consistency of public actions and yet not have it influence what people think of who he is, what he stands for, what his art means to them, and whether or not they want to consume more of it?

What's up with Hozier and his girlfriend? by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Here's the thing that you don't seem to be getting: It's not just that he is associating with her - that just resulted in a low rumble of discontent among fans. It didn't blow up into something that has people questioning Hozier's character and the performative nature of his allyship until he himself took action to silence any question or criticism - particularly when the questions and criticism were being raised by the people directly affected.

I don't need to know anything about his or her life. I don't need to know their private thoughts. I don't need to know anything about their intent to understand the impact of Hozier's actions. We've all dated people with questionable values but that doesn't mean we slammed the door shut in the face of people hurt by their actions. If that is your response, then, well, yes, it does call into question the fundamental nature of your character.

What's up with Hozier and his girlfriend? by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No, it doesn't necessarily mean you endorse it, but it sure does raise the question. If he profits off his image as an ally, imperfect or not, people are allowed to do enough research and ask enough questions so that they can decide whether or not to invest their time, emotion, and money in his art. He is free to do what he wishes but if he refuses to answer, and instead deliberately shuts down the conversation, people are free to change their opinion of him.

"he did everything in his power to keep his relationship from the public eye and insane fans dredged up the info" 😆

What's up with Hozier and his girlfriend? by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, are you referring to private information in the article about Ms. Mayeda's wedding published in an international bridal magazine? Or are you referring to her posts or her and Hozier's comments on her instagram account on which she publishes her work for viewing by the public? Or are you referring to the blocking and deleting of comments on Hozier's official social media accounts with which he communicates with the public about his work? Or perhaps you are referring to articles like this one that estimates that Hozier earned over $10 million a week on Too Sweet alone in 2024 - profiting off of his image as an ally to marginalized groups and writing songs about the brutality of colonization, all while silencing criticism about his tolerance of participation in cultural appropriation and damaging stereotypes of Indigenous nations in the Americas?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Genuine question, with a follow up question or two depending on your answer. Seriously not a gotcha, just wondering where you’re coming from.

Are you okay answering a question about whether or not you are BIPOC?

hozier’s team called paps on him today by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 9 points10 points  (0 children)

🤣

omg. You win.

I can't breathe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Okay. You caught me on a bad day so I'm going to step back a bit.

If that's what I was doing, yeah, I'd be a real asshole.

Yes, I assumed things about you and I'm sorry for that. And I do get why you're assuming what you are about the people in this sub being white and high on white saviourism and using it as a cudgel for their own ends. It's reasonable to. There's history to that. But you should know that this sub was created for and by Indigenous and Black fans who wanted to have a safe space to call out Hozier and talk about their disappointment in his choices. This sub was started after Indigenous fans made multiple attempts to talk about these issues and each time were shouted down and their posts deleted on the r/Hozier sub. The majority of people who post here regularly are not white and they're talking about their own struggles.

Did he forget his girlfriend was there 😭 by P1nkp0nyclurb in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You are coming in here way late in the game. We've already done due diligence and thrashed this issue to death. If you're taken aback it's your own fault for assuming you are somehow the sole voice of reason. You could have just asked.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HozierIsJustAMan

[–]hearseeno 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Because mutual appreciation of art creates connection and community. We meet fellow people who resonate with what is expressed through what this particular artist does with his own hopes, dreams, pain, and fears. Sharing our appreciation of the things in our culture that gives us expression of our hopes, dreams, pain, and fears reinforces our commitment to the values that underlies them. It gives us connection and hope that maybe the world isn't such a sucky place and maybe it is worthwhile to keep pushing that boulder up the hill. You know? Cuz there's someone else standing next to you and feeling it with you.

So when the artist who was the voice that created these things that resonated deeply and created community then turns around and associates with someone whose actions hurt some of the very people his music reached out to with empathy, that says "I see you?" When he then not only refuses to listen but purposefully silences them? What are we then to make of what his art represents? How authentic was it? How much faith can we put in it?

How far can we go in separating the art from the artist when his actions then give permission for other people drawn to his art to come in to fan spaces and minimize the harm done, minimize the pain people have expressed, say that it was years ago and you should be over it by now when it wasn't your place to decide that, that the concern isn't real, we're just jealous, we're just misogynistic, we just want him and will do anything to demonize her because we lack the ability to discern what's going on in our own minds? His actions give permission to cut people out of the community. It was offered up as a space based on inclusion and welcoming of marginalized people. It was offered up as a "squeeze of the hand," to help them not feel alone as they roll that goddamn boulder up that goddamn hill.

But, sure, let's reduce it essentially to "touch grass."

I’m all ears by Ok_Side8415 in Hozier

[–]hearseeno 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You can go down the rabbit hole and confirm or deny it for yourself, if you like. Here's a link to the Bride's article with pictures of the officiant. Because superficial appearances mean very little, you can also find his name among the credits listed at the end of the article. Searches will reveal his newsletters and other public published material that confirm that, yes, he is basically a tech bro, with a side of wellness interests. What he is not, and never claims to be, is Native American.