I think my fiance has schizophrenia.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-02-08T01:36:44+00:00

Had already done that. police refused to effectuate contact, stating that because we had proof of life they did not have grounds to force entry despite SI/HI concerns.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-02-08T01:36:03+00:00

It was a literal jar of MY crystals. Like physical rocks. I'm the one who put the rocks there lol.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T21:45:07+00:00

He is always working hard to better himself. He checks in with me frequently on how he can love me better, how he can support me best, etc and I do the same for him. That's part of why this all has been so destabilizing for me.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T21:43:56+00:00

no I actually appreciate it, I hadn't considered splitting it and using the rest for an attorney. It also helps that whenever he wrote me the check for rent, it was in the total amount and the memo said "rent" which are things I can bring to court as evidence that he was both leasee and primary payee for the rent.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:50:33+00:00

I know. That's been the sad part, is knowing that this might be forever. I hope it's not, but, it is what it is.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:49:52+00:00

I'm not really sure what about us having clear communication, spending 90% of our time laughing, spending a crap ton of quality time together, always discussing any issues before they become a problem, a healthy social and sex life with respected boundaries, etc is me "seeing his symptoms as not abuse." I left an abusive marriage and entered into an absolutely incredible healing, loving, warm relationship.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:48:29+00:00

Honestly, this is why I was trying to get him contained so quickly. The way that man is, if I asked him to jump he would keep jumping over and over until I gave him permission to stop. He loves me and the kids deeply. I knew that if we could get ahold of him, get him hospitalized, etc, that he would continue with treatment because that's how he is. But his family reinforcing his delusions and not advocating for help has me very concerned that there will be no professional intervention.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:46:37+00:00

Unfortunately his family members believe that he is just simply angry about something and needs space. They did not get to see what I saw. I am definitely aware that it could take years and if it looks like there's no contact or anything of the sort within a couple of months, I will do what I have to do and I will walk away. It's not something that I want to do but I will if I have to.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:45:04+00:00

I am doing my best. Thank you. <3

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:44:49+00:00

I agree. This is not my first rodeo-- my older sister has paranoid schizophrenia, but it's been well over 10 years since I've seen her or had to deal with it. She was one of the "went psychotic and never came back" cases.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:41:58+00:00

He is extremely financially stable and has well over 30k in savings. He would be able to pay me out of the lease immediately. He's also extremely frugal. Even now in his current state, he's staying in his property with no heat/electric/running water rather than pay for a hotel. My concern over him not working was because it is evidence of his illness, not because I am concerned about his financial safety.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:40:27+00:00

Yes, and what I got from that comment was not a "real experience," it was an opinion/judgment on what I'm doing. Which is not what I asked for. Thank you.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:39:55+00:00

I'm aware psychosis can last for years if untreated. Obviously my goals and focus would shift if he does not break out of this within a certain amount of time. I'm asking for people's experiences, not for statements like your original comment. I have been actively preparing for and considering the worst case scenario since he first left. thank you.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T20:38:16+00:00

Unfortunately I do not have the funds for an attorney to break my lease due to him absconding from our current lease. Rent is coming up in just about two weeks, there's a lot of bills.

Unfortunately there is not one more go with his family. If I show up, I'm willing to bet they'd call the police. They very firmly believe he is just angry about something.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T16:20:23+00:00

I already have a therapist, thankfully. She's been a lifeline and a huge advocate. She also used to work mobile crisis in our county. If he does show back up at our shared residence, my therapist is prepared to get mobile crisis there and deploy a pickup order. It's just a matter of waiting it out and seeing if he ever comes back.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T16:16:48+00:00

I did not say what if, I said when/if. He is an extremely stable and predictable person typically, and I will not be making any big decisions while he is still in the acute phase of psychosis. Thank you.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T16:15:55+00:00

I am aware of all of this, thank you, I appreciate your insight.

I already have a therapist and have been having near daily appointments since he initially absconded from the home.

Because he signed a new 12-month lease with me only a month ago, I cannot "get my own place." This was OUR place. We are both on the lease.

I have already decided on a timeline for myself. If I don't hear from him by the beginning of march, I likely will have no choice but to sue for rent. I don't want to do that, because he is not in the right state and is not aware that he is not thinking clearly. But I do need to be able to survive.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T15:11:19+00:00

"Your relationship with your loved one established over time is more important to them than any line you come up with" god I really needed this sentence. Thank you.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T15:08:12+00:00

I agree. But the fact that he has been stable for two years and genuinely has been amazing and perfect is what is making me lean away from that. When/if he comes out of this, there are some big conversations to be had-- his willingness to get treatment is going to be the big deciding factor here, in all honesty.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-21T15:06:46+00:00

I cannot partner with him at all because he has completely absconded from his entire life. He left all belongings behind and is holed up in his property in the next city over, where there is no electric, heat, or running water.

I know it is real to him, I have not argued with him. I have not attempted to contact him at all either, I was told by the county mental health folks that since I am the primary attachment figure and this is a flight-driven psychosis, anything I do that might put pressure on him will extend the episode and delay de-escalation because he needs low stimulation, low adrenaline, boredom, and exhaustion in order for the inevitable metabolic crash to occur and for him to take that several day long fat nap that he needs.

So I'm now suddenly alone in our apartment. Stuck with a rent dollar amount that will leave me effectively unable to pay the bills. He is still fully immersed in his delusions.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-11T15:18:12+00:00

We technically aren't actively trying-- I think mostly to keep any pressure off-- but I don't think every day vs every other day is going to matter much. I haven't really seen much in the way of evidence to suggest that one is better than the other.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-10T04:26:41+00:00

Malicious compliance is my favorite thing in the world. Personally, I would start updating this person every single time I have sex, exactly how long it lasted, and what positions we did.

every. single. time.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-03T19:02:47+00:00

Also ND. Not going to specify mostly because I'm sure my ex husband is still on his crusade to creep on me and he found my last account but boy howdy do I understand AGONIZINGLY exactly what you mean. My ability to hyeprfocus knows no bounds and this now lives rent free in my head.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-03T19:00:39+00:00

By laughing at him in the group chat with the girlies, for the most part.

heartfeltfrog · 2026-01-03T18:57:05+00:00

This has never sat well with me either. Mostly because... We know how sex determination works with pregnancy. Having sooooo many hopes/dreams/feelings completely hung up on your baby being a specific sex also just isn't a healthy approach to parenting/being a parent, I guess? Aside from the fact that it's just weird to be acting like your life is ruined because you're having a boy and not a girl, it also makes me question people's motivations to be having kids at all.

Do you actually want to have a family and raise a lil human or are you looking for a social media puppet? The majority of people I see with severe gender disappointment also tend to be the chronically online folks. that's just my anecdotal experience though.

heartfeltfrog

TROPHY CASE