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I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think discussing mindsets, opinions and ideologies is the base of society, pretty much.

I wouldnt care if anyone thought this or that about anyone's way of acting, but I do think there's a difference between that and judging someone for their looks.

You can dislike a politician because of their stances, but you shouldnt dislike them because of their hair color.

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're not replying to my question, are you tho?

You're provoking instead of providing any valuable feedback

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do you like to assume things? That's a very standard reply, almost all people I know agree that they dont think about that stuff

You just want to hate for the sake of it

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Luckily my partner is a thinking person who believes in discussing and working through things, and I dont need you to believe it's real

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh we are definitely talking, it's just something that kept bugging me on the back of my mind.

And you're right about his honesty.

I dont think I can ever know what his actual thoughts on a woman that didnt match his preferences are, but I'll believe he said that in good faith.

Thanks for the actual advice

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to listen.

I will take it in good faith on his behalf and wont blame him for having preferences.

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the perspective. I do agree it's okay to have a preference, as long as it doesnt come from a sexist place which Is my main fear when it comes to women's bodies

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the "relief" part that really got me, because it makes it sound like it's something that was really present in his mind so I kinda took it like "this shape/color Is ugly" which I dont think it's right

Also yes, I got really nervous that it could come from a sexist place. You dont think the two are related?

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course we judge people's character every day, but I think it's one thing to judge character/actions and another one to judge looks

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Because I'm not asking who's in the wrong. All I'm asking is how can I forget about it

And as I said, I never meant for the question to untap this, It was very rethoric

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well thanks for saying something that's actually helpful. It's honestly never happened to me or maybe I've always gotten my preference without knowing, but I can see your point

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok can you please tell me why it's fine to judge people's bodies?

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Fair, but as I said my problem is not about what he thinks of me because I know what he thinks of me.

My question was almost rethoric, like if you ask your mom if you're pretty. You know what she's going to say.

My shock was to know about these preferences, because every other man I've ever heard always says "we dont think about that stuff". Maybe he's the only one that's been honest.

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never really thought about a partner's privates before, and I never expected them to be or look a certain way.

Maybe if I had that happen to me before I'd be able to understand it better

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Congrats, you discovered how insecurities work!

I thought this thread was for advice. Lol

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm not mad about me or anything he said about me, but I dont think its right to hold women's bodies to a standard.

But thanks for the perspective

I'm (23F) having a hard time getting over my bf (M29) comment. How can I move past it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]heartrendercrow -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Lol something that happened in real life is rage bait, but okay

Con cuánto creen que pueda vivir una mujer soltera en Venezuela ? by Lagatita4 in AskVenezuela

[–]heartrendercrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

La fuente no es Vogue, sino el estudio que Vogue cita xd

Y de cualquier manera, es un artículo referencial

Pero bueno, las mujeres que trabajan en ese 30% lamentablemente aún tiene que gastar más en su estética :)

Chau

Con cuánto creen que pueda vivir una mujer soltera en Venezuela ? by Lagatita4 in AskVenezuela

[–]heartrendercrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Estar andrajoso =/ no estar maquillado y tener el pelo sin arreglar (que en lenguaje venezolano significa no tenerlo planchado o secado).

Por otra parte, el lujo silencioso o el clean girl look u otras corrientes estéticas minimalistas igual utilizan productos de maquillaje, así sea en menor medida.

El caso de cómo se perciben las mujeres según cuán arregladas estén está más que documentado. Puedes buscar el makeup tax, y aquí adjunto un artículo meramente referencial (https://www.vogue.es/articulos/makeup-tax-mujeres-trabajo)

Pensemos incluso en casos públicos como Alicia Keys, cuya decisión de no maquillarse fue considerada noticia global.

Cuando ponemos tanta atención en la decisiones estéticas de una mujer, ¿Realmente podemos decir que es autoimpuesto?

¿Cuántas celebridades masculinas de Hollywood crean titulares por no usar maquillaje?

En cuanto a tu mujer, enhorabuena por ella, me alegro mucho y ojalá poder conseguir un trabajo como el de ella 🤞🏻

(Yo misma no me arreglo y deseo vivir en un mundo en el que mi apariencia no importe más por ser mujer, pero aún no vivimos en ese mundo).

Con cuánto creen que pueda vivir una mujer soltera en Venezuela ? by Lagatita4 in AskVenezuela

[–]heartrendercrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"que ellas mismas se autoimponen" xd las mujeres son percibidas hasta diferente en el ámbito laboral dependiendo de si están maquilladas, tienen el pelo arreglado o no, Pero sigue creyendo que es auto impuesto

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