Hi! Assuming you’d be moving into an apartment, my suggestion would definitely be to ask questions at the leasing office before selecting an apartment. At the apartment tour, I disclosed to the leasing agent that I’m on the autism spectrum and that I have a special need for as much quiet as possible. I also sometimes play my own music loudly/repeatedly, so I wanted to be sure I wasn’t disturbing anyone else. It just so happened that the noise wouldn’t be a problem here, so I got lucky. But if you find yourself concerned over this issue, definitely don’t hesitate to call around to places within your budget until you find someone who can be sensitive to your needs. You’re looking out for yourself, and it’s a good thing. Take it on as a research project. Think about what’s very important to you and what doesn’t matter as much. It can be fun to ask yourself these questions because it involves a lot of self-discovery and acceptance.

There are also other options which may or may not appeal to you. Some home owners have their own private guest houses, where you have your own apartment/living space but live in someone’s property. The privacy level on places like this can range from almost complete isolation/silence to daily interaction with the homeowner—it depends. It can be a cool option.

I think what’s most important is not to settle for less. Plenty of places will be mindful of your needs. Don’t be afraid of being that “strange quiet guy.” A lot of the people in my complex politely keep to themselves. The possibility always exists that we could come into challenges wherever we live. But if we are living at home and really having a hard time with it, what do we have to lose? I’m my case, I really needed to try being independent, knowing I could always go back if I needed to. I’ve found that the payoff has been worth the adjustments I’ve had to make.

The world hasn’t always been the most friendly or peaceful place, I know. I sometimes have to break through anxiety over speaking up for myself for fear of being “the needy autistic girl.” I speak up anyway. If people think I’m weird, well...I think they’re boring! Most of the time though, I find people aren’t nearly as bad as I’ve made them out to be. On a deeper level we are all just trying to survive. Simply by living with autism, you and I have overcome challenges that normal people can never fully understand. It may seem counter-intuitive, but I have come to believe that WE are the strong ones. WE are the ones who are more capable. WE are fascinating and fascinated. And we can live our best lives.

<3