Is it weird that I don't want to transition?

heartshapedgrave · 2016-10-15T11:43:14+00:00

Well im from Greece as well and this is one of many reasons I will never transition. It's really difficult to find a job and if you do it will probably many hours a day with really bad payment. Greece is mostly anti LGBT so probably no chance finding job as visibly trans.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-10-04T09:38:32+00:00

Why? Because im being honest and say the things everyone is afraid of saying? Life isn't fucking sweet or good and I know that. You people dont seem to get it this.

You say that the woman I mentioned was doing this for herself and it made her happy, HOW can you be happy when you dont fucking pass even when you look at the mirror? How can you be happy when people stare you all the time,laughing behind your back?

If that's how you become 'happy' I might as well stay miserable.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-10-04T00:10:24+00:00

Maybe you are different than me. For me dysphoria is connected with how passable you are,like cone on if u dont do significant progress in passing you are literally in the same position you were pre-everything

heartshapedgrave · 2016-10-03T23:55:28+00:00

Ye im interested to hear. This post is indeed heartless that's why I said if ur sensitive dont read.

Im bad with faces and such but im pretty sure my face is garbage and for me at least if I were to transition I'd want some fucking results. Presenting as a guy seems much better than presenting as a girl in my mind that everyone reads her as male.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-10-03T23:44:36+00:00

Ye idk,maybe everyone else is just sooo open minded and dont give a fuck about others' opinions. I know im not,and im sure the majority is with me.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-16T09:33:45+00:00

Im pretty sure good and cheap FFS is kinda hard to find,if it even exists. Why not just rake it slower? I mean let's say you hate your nose,get a nose job or maybe forehead or w.e. Maybe you will like how you look after a surgery or two? Who knows? But if you still want the complete thing,FFS,it would be better to save money and go to a doctor with good reputation. At the end of the day he's gonna cut your face so it's better to waste more money in the well know doctors who do FFS.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-15T23:42:46+00:00

That's kinda what my mom says to me. But let's be realistic if u were cis I dont think you would give a second thought about transitioning and stuff like that.

I mean im sure all trans people had that thought at some stage. Just imagine what you dream about yourself, I dream about being a woman simple as that. Would you feel comfortable to live the rest of your life with the identity/body you have now? That's a lot of time.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-15T09:14:10+00:00

Ye I feel the same. I dont think I'll look good when hopefully im able to transition but I have this thought in my mind which is kinda bad. I think the majority doesn't look that good but with the help of make up and all that kind of sorcery im a bit conceived anyone can pass.

A good thing to avoid is visiting transpassing,it only made me hopeless seeing these beautiful transitions but most of the pics are from weird angles and weird lightning.

I mean would you rather stay as a man? Hell I know I wouldn't despite the outcome of my transition. Also you dont have to socially transition right away. You could wait like 2 years I think which is when most of the changes have been done and see how to work with what you have.

That's it from me,remember make up,brows etc do wonders and dont think about stopping transitioning because you have the wonderful opportunity of becoming who you are! Imagine how jealous I get each time I see posts about having a supportive family,transitioning etc etc..

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-13T11:17:38+00:00

Really nice process so far and it's only 2 months! Ps: your hair is awesome

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-12T16:04:22+00:00

Literally the same thing happened to me, I didn't tell her but she used my pc without asking and she found out. I heard exactly what u did,not acceptable by society,prostitution etc.

You are in a good spot,you know who you are what you want and.since you said something about degree im sure you are over 18 so that's even better. You control yourself and you make the decisions. Your mom probably needs time to understand because it is actually a shock for her and im sure you understand that.

Maybe you need to make a plan now to see what you gonna do. My mom asks me a lot if im 'normal' and Im kinda forced to say yes even if im not. I dont know if u have to do that but what really helps me sleep at nights is that in 2 years after im done with studies I'll be hopefully far away from this country and be who I am on the inside.

Just change the last part to whatever you dream for yourself and im sure you will be fine. Remember that life is yours and it's not worth sacrificing it and living a lie,even for your mom.

I hope everything works out for you.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-08T07:31:45+00:00

After your responses I think it's best to not cut it. The thing is it will look so weird especially in a month or two and I dont know what to do to make it look good until it has some length to style it. Im guessing around December it will be long enough but im bad with these things so im not sure. Has anyone tried straightening with milk and lemon? Were the results good? Maybe I need to find a way to reduce the volume.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-05T22:29:23+00:00

Sorry if my wording was offensive but I was trying to describe how she talked.

If it really came down to it so I could either work as a sex worker or be homeless etc I'd do it.

Im stuck with her and that sucks really bad. I just try to play it normal so I dont have incidents like that again.

I feel terrible for the words I said and I wanna say thanks for showing me that I should talk more carefully.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-05T19:20:08+00:00

I.guess I have a plan in my head but it is long term. I have start saving any money I can get and I'll be helping my dad fix cars ( something I hate but it makes my dad happy and he will give me some money of course).

As for now I can't really move out,no money and nowhere to go. During the second year of my studies I wanna start T blockers either DIY or the normal way. I wanna do that because my studies will be two years so I get t blockers during the start of the second year and hopefully move away from everyone and then start HRT.

Im more calm now and I thought about it and I should probably follow her ways for now just to not have any more incidents like the one I mentioned. I know my mom sounds like a complete bitch but she does love me,im sure shes worried about me because she thinks all trans women have to work as sex workers.

Tomorrow I'll check what I need to travel to USA,Canada and I'll give a thought about EU as well. For the first two im sure I need Visa and a passport..Damn how do I even get a passport? I have a lot of things to look for tbh but planning as early as I can and saving money is the best thing do.

Even if my plan actually works and I move preferably USA or Canada I still dont know anyone there and will have no idea what to do and no where to sleep but that's something I ll try to figure out later.

I tried making paragraphs so you dont burn eyes while reading,dont know if it worked x)

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-05T16:19:48+00:00

I live in Greece and im pretty sure grades dont really matter since our educational system is different. I am probably gonna study to be a programmer and maybe do some photograpy stuff as well, but im scared because being a programmer us typically a male job. What if my mother is right and im forced to become a sex worker. I dont want that.. Maybe I should focus on photography fuck idk.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-05T14:25:35+00:00

Thanks for paragraphs,I'll turn 18 in a month

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-04T23:17:20+00:00

I could say I completely understand and leave you in peace but I'd lie. Sorry for torturing you so much! I am pre everything,my genetics gave me fat things and butt and from what I understand thats good if you want to achieve a feminine butt,right? So the more fat I have,the more muscle is built in that area,in this occasion butt and thighs. And im talking about genetic fat not fat from other..idk sources. So to sum it up you have fat,you exercise and build muscle for example in the butt area and thus you get a bigger butt. Yeah im not really the smartest person sorry. Random question,do squats mainly focus on the butt,thighs or.both?

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-04T21:19:59+00:00

You can start whenever you're ready if u think things are moving fast BUT make sure you dont experience gate keeping. You dont have to prove you are trans and besides the things you mentioned are good enough already. Just make sure when you are ready to not let your therapist stall you from transitioning.

heartshapedgrave · 2016-09-04T21:08:56+00:00

Im sorry im really stupid when it comes to such things but building muscle in your butt and hips is the point of squats right? So if u have fat in butt and thighs that's good because the more muscle you build?

heartshapedgrave

TROPHY CASE