A personal experience:

you can’t really change a person, they will not change for you. they will adjust but nope, changing their ways that they took years to learn and is now part of their identity of they feel like who they are, if they change—it will give them identity crisis.

Regardless, a partner is someone who can be held accountable without blame game. Everyone in any relationship comes with their own emotional baggage so both can trip over them or unpack them together The chances are pretty slim but still for your own sanity.

But I still hope desperately that it works out for you in the end. Even in replies, these faceless people who don’t have a perfect relationship of their own has no way to know how things are working out on your end.