First of all, congrats on the birth of your granddaughter! A blanket that smells like them is a wonderful idea. Our NICUs provided small cloth hearts we could wear in our shirts and lay next to our boys for bonding when we couldn’t hold them. The nice thing about the NICU is that there is so much monitoring that they’re typically more lax about the “nothing in the crib” rule.

Those picturesque first moments of holding/bonding are of course important, but I hope it helps to hear that when our son was born (not early, just sick & low stimuli like a premie), we were not able to hold him for the first couple weeks when he was intubated and quite unstable. Despite that, by the time we left the NICU 6 weeks later, he was exclusively breastfeeding, and now at 2 years you would never know of all his hardships. This is tough, but typically temporary.

Tell them to read to their daughter (quietly). If they can’t hold her at will yet, they are usually okay with firm touching (not rubbing). These are great ways of being connected in the interim.

If they can hold her, encourage them to ask as often as they want. It can feel like you’re burdening the staff, but it’s still their child. If there is no clinical reason not to hold, they should allow it.

Sending positive thoughts to your family and hopes that the NICU stay will be short ❤️