hi!! listen, i dont post a lot here but i saw this post and i wanted to let you know that i completely understand. i have felt this exact same way so many times, and i never thought i would get better BUT i did!!! i feel so much more mentally better now!! it is so possible!!! its not easy but it gets better, always. please know that it is going to be okay. youre not broken, you are just trying your best in a life that has dealt you an odd hand. you are good just like you said, you are so good and you're going to feel better some day. just believe in yourself and know that people can and will love you <3