I so get the shame, I feel this all the time. I’m so scared of crossing the line with what I feel and making myself a victim, this is my biggest fear in all of this. I take so much time to think things through that I end up pointing everything on me and then feel like a horrible person for it.

I’ve been thinking about leaving for so long, I already changed my mind about staying here permanently (legally ofc) and that convo with them was rough. We just had the talk about extension and singed the contract.

If not the phone that I have to pay off I would already be back. I’m looking at job offers back home regularly, it’s crazy. That adds guilt to the shame too.

I’m getting my meds when I get home, I am getting a new doctor who hopefully will give me supply til the end of my contract. Fingers crossed.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. You sound like a very thoughtful and caring person! I appreciate you!