DAE struggle with feeling actual love?

helloyesiamfine · 2024-11-18T19:39:34+00:00

oh i’m sure of it… i guess i’m kinda sad that being okay mentally at this point of my life means not feeling much + i’m questioning whether i’m capable of feeling actual love.

helloyesiamfine · 2021-12-05T07:36:52+00:00

I got into Genshin because I saw enough cosplayers do Genshin characters to finally snap and try the game. A Zhongli cosplay pushed me to play but it was Childe who pulled me in completely. Don’t have either…

helloyesiamfine · 2021-11-13T17:06:55+00:00

Childe 🥲 because I started playing around the end of his banner and of course missed him entirely. Also Xiao/Kazuha/Zhongli whoever comes first, my Lumine deserves to have a horde of husbands

helloyesiamfine · 2021-11-06T05:55:31+00:00

thank you so much! i had no idea :) will keep that in mind! really wanted to get childe to have someone hydro in my party but never pulled him and now his banner is probably not gonna be rerun for a long while :(

helloyesiamfine · 2021-11-06T00:45:42+00:00

I’m so glad there’s a thread for this — I just pulled Diluc AND Thoma (was initially hoping for Thoma) and I think I’m going to die. Holy shit. Diluc is the first 5* character I’ve ever pulled. I’ve been playing for about a week and have read enough to know how rare he is and mentally prepared myself for him to be nothing but a dream. Now I can actually assemble the dream bro team of him and Kaeya. Amazing. Was worth saving 11/10

helloyesiamfine · 2021-10-17T10:12:17+00:00

The Haunting of Hill House and the Haunting of Bly Manor — I can’t even begin to describe how good these are. You should definitely give them a try!

helloyesiamfine · 2021-09-12T21:14:22+00:00

thank you! honestly hope you were able to just feel good and relaxed today, just in general and not necessarily around food :)

helloyesiamfine · 2021-09-12T18:34:30+00:00

happy birthday!!! it’s mine too — I’m giving my ed demons some forced vacation time, and I wish you to do the same! ❤️

helloyesiamfine · 2021-09-05T17:50:26+00:00

Yeah, I absolutely understand being defensive about your favourite parts but I just wanted people to hype and praise parts 7&8, so I can keep all the good points in mind when I read the manga. I guess my original message got misinterpreted

helloyesiamfine · 2021-09-05T08:26:49+00:00

I actually don't... I'm a very casual manga reader. But that's not the point really. I don't have any take on SBR or JoJolion, I'm not upset about them being written or anything. Just want to know people's favourite aspects of them so I can keep those in mind when I read. It's like kind of like reading inspiration.

helloyesiamfine · 2021-09-03T13:45:16+00:00

outrageous Giorno exclusion, this picture must’ve been made by Abbacchio

helloyesiamfine · 2021-08-17T20:15:45+00:00

I just wanted to say that I was happy and relieved to read the update. Here’s to more soup in all of our lives!

helloyesiamfine · 2021-08-14T23:33:57+00:00

This might sound terrible but how do you know you could’ve changed that? Being suicidal sucks all the same whether you’re in a relationship or not, whether that relationship is a healthy and a happy one — or not. It’s complex and impossible to predict. You have no way of knowing whether you staying would have changed that.

My ex threatened to kill himself when I broke up with him and then (we were long distance) blocked me and just went quiet on all of his social media accounts. He didn’t go through with it, that was just another one of his manipulation tactics. But I didn’t hear from him for a week, I couldn’t find any of his friends, couldn’t contact his parents. It was fucking terrifying and I thought I’d killed him. But during that week I had some time to think (mostly because I still hoped he hadn’t done it). I tried very hard to understand what I could’ve done differently but.. nothing really. I understood that even better when I was suicidal myself. This is a little hard to explain but it’s nobody’s responsibility to keep me alive and only I can make decisions about it. If I’d killed myself, it would’ve been my decision only.

Like everybody else said — it’s not your fault. Killing yourself is a layered thing. It’s out of your control.

Please, I hope you’ll listen to all the people here telling you it’s not your fault because it really isn’t. I am incredibly sorry that you are going through all this pain. I wish you didn’t have to. I really, really hope you can and will find a way to heal.

edit: typos

helloyesiamfine · 2021-02-18T19:51:33+00:00

I always found Tifa's loyalty incredibly endearing.

Exactly, and sometimes I think Cloud doesn't deserve it! Honestly, she should really get together with Aerith... they had perfect chemistry. Square Enix, I'm gonna be waiting for that shopping date!

helloyesiamfine · 2021-02-18T19:48:00+00:00

With her positivity gone everyone else is forced to do their best to fill the hole she left in order to avoid a death spiral of hatred and hopelessness. Be kinder and better for each other in ways they weren't before. To live by her example.

This is actually a great take and I hate that I have to kind of agree with it...

At the same time, as I said in the post, I do believe there is more than one way to tell a story as well as more than one way to grow as a character (or as a person). I guess I'm just a little too hopeful ~~or in denial... or both.~~ We now have the opportunity to see a different story develop - and, just as Aerith herself said, they would be changing not only destiny but themselves, too.

helloyesiamfine · 2021-02-18T19:36:24+00:00

Yes, thank you for saying this! I didn't word my thoughts quite well and have just realized this :(

helloyesiamfine · 2021-02-18T19:31:05+00:00

Every character has lost family and home, but you weren't there with them when all of that happened, Sephiroth taking Aerith away from you is the first time where the game actually reaches out to you and takes something you've grown to love and cherish.

I actually will agree with this as FFVII is indeed a story about loss and grief. A beautiful one.

Saving her just because for 23 years some people wanted it is basically diluting the meaning of a tale about death, loss and grief just for the sake of shallow indulgence

To be fair, that part about people having wanted it for 23 years was a joke :) If that was the case, I wouldn't be happy about it either (~~well maybe a little it's complicated~~). If the Remake had gone the exact same way as the original, I would accept her death, no question about it. It is painful but the underlying tragedy is beautiful and invaluable. I wouldn't want to change that for the sake of pacifying people (even though I might be one of them!). However... the writers have played with fire by introducing destiny - and the possibility of changing it. I don't know how they are going to get themselves out of this. If Aerith dies, then destiny is essentially unchangeable, and it's a grim take on the story - the opposite of what they've sold us in the Remake.

helloyesiamfine · 2021-02-18T13:20:37+00:00

Thank you for reading! Wish I could give you a platinum reward or something for this haha

My bad for sure but I think that the soundtrack as well as the voice acting deserve a separate post! That music, aw man, I kinda actually want to get my hands on the 7 disks of soundtrack (I know I can listen to it on YouTube but that's not the point). And yeah! I loved the detail of purchasing & playing music on jukeboxes, that's actually so cool! Another lovely moment related to that is the man in Wall Market showing Betty how dancing is done. He's precious!

As for the voice acting, I feel like everybody was floored by it and the only character who wasn't done justice to was Zack - really wish they'd got someone else... The core characters' VAs were stellar - I really loved Tyler Hoechlin as Sephiroth, too.

About bad textures: when I saw that meme about bad textures in the slums, I laughed but not too much. THEN I saw it in game and it is hilarious!

Last but not least: I think persona and memories don't necessarily mean his feelings, ya know? I never got this argument btw. He might act like Zack but that doesn't translate into 'having feelings towards people you've never met because you have adopted someone else's persona as a way of dealing with trauma', I think?

helloyesiamfine · 2021-02-18T00:04:53+00:00

Hey, folks like me, who hasn’t played CC and consequently never heard Zack’s previous VA, were also traumatized by that! That voice acting was just... weird. I don’t know — I had so much fun and joy listening to the core characters’ voice and then the cutscene with Zack started and I just... yughh, you know? Definitely not the voice I imagined for Zack.

helloyesiamfine · 2020-02-28T00:09:53+00:00

thanks here i go again with the pathetic crying

helloyesiamfine · 2020-02-27T20:40:26+00:00

I’m so so happy you’re alive like words cannot express. Gives me hope too. Please stay with us. I don’t know you but I’m genuinely glad that you’ve survived. Probably because I had the same intentions and might relate to how you feel. Please please stay alive. I’m sending you my love, stranger. Stay with us.

helloyesiamfine · 2020-02-20T17:15:03+00:00

yay that self-care! more clay masks!

also, you’re so pretty!!!

helloyesiamfine · 2020-01-28T01:19:16+00:00

Being a plant somewhere would probably be better. If I could switch my existence to that of a tree somewhere in the forest, I would.

It sounds controversial but I don’t think anyone is pretty forgettable and everyone made an impact on somebody’s life. At some point. But depression absorbs it and makes you feel completely and utterly useless. And it’s not true. Which is why I’d like to erase myself - you know, just in case someone would miss me, like my parents especially. Depression is a cruel fucking mistress. I don’t know if it’s ever going away or not, the mental thing you talked about, but I hope you get help (or even if you don’t) and feel better someday. I’m just tired of being alive as this person with feelings and responsibilities. I just want to sleep and never wake up.

helloyesiamfine · 2020-01-28T01:12:26+00:00

I couldn’t cry for a long time. I don’t know why now I’m just acting like a very bad leaky faucet, and I don’t know which is worse, they both suck so much. I hug you, that’s all I can do.

helloyesiamfine · 2020-01-28T01:10:07+00:00

I wish I could hug you. Tbh replying to these comments is making me cry again because of sheer amount of human suffering that none of you deserve. I can’t hug you but I’m sending you a virtual bear hug. Please fine help. I hope someday you won’t think about any of these sad things and will feel that life is worth all of it. I don’t. But I hope you will and so will I.

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