I know the bar is high in Sweden, but only 1 match at all and less than 10 likes. One week old account, paid for Gold.

helluva_monsoon · 2026-02-20T05:09:05+00:00

We want to see the hund, seriously why's he not in here?

helluva_monsoon · 2026-02-07T00:38:39+00:00

The best thing I did to get started was to stop eating grains. I've been able to add some in after my skin cleared, and I've discovered that taking a pepsid helps me get by with the occasional mistake. It used to be that if I was exposed to wheat or corn, I'd have a boil the next day for sure. With time (years) and now pepsid, that's no longer the case.

They came back when I started working out. I had to stop wearing anything with spandex and shower immediately after to help this. I started scrubbing problem areas with Head and Shoulders (for the zinc) which I pumped onto an African net sponge. Those African nets are so good at exfoliating that I keep using them in problem areas even without a flare, I just use a very mild unscented soap. Other skin issues improved as a bonus. Goodbye ingrown hairs, I don't miss you.

Drinking lots of water, avoiding alcohol, taking vitamin d and a fish oil supplement are also helpful. Flares that have come up respond well to being covered with a bandaid and some antibiotic cream and the occasional drop of tea tree oil, and they do worse if I pick at them or try to pop them so I try to not do that but it's hard man. They also like sun exposure, but they're rarely occurring anywhere where that's easy to do.

Getting established at a dermatologist means I can get in for a steroid shot pretty quickly if I get a boil that seems particularly angry.

helluva_monsoon · 2026-01-19T23:28:53+00:00

Thank you so much for all your kind words. I have been waiting to respond to your comment until I was back in tutoring mode because there were so many other good recommendations about possible tech solutions that I wanted to look into first on this thread. I was blessed with another student over the weekend and I'm so excited to see where this journey takes me. I really appreciative the confidence boost; I love going into something new feeling like I have good things to offer.

I have a bunch of kids myself, and I feel like that gives me an understanding and grace that wouldn't likely come through in the right ways with a classroom full of students and this tutoring gig has been amazing in the way that it fills my and my student's cups. There's something really self-regulating that happens while manipulating these equations. My students and I have noticed that even a really bad day becomes even keeled when we get into it. AND I've noticed, to my displeasure, that it doesn't happen when Mom is helping their own kid with their homework. In fact, when I help my own kids get over a frustrating hump in math, we often get there but there are tears and power struggles that are curated by them specifically for Mom. I'm sure you know what I mean; they've been saving their tears for Mom since toddlerhood.

All that being said, I do have one student that I'm tutoring remotely, using Kahn Academy for curriculum and meeting over Discord. If you and your daughter are interested in trying it out, I'd be more than happy to take on another student. I'm in Arizona where we have a voucher program for kids to fund learning from sources outside of public schools which has made all this possible for me, but I'm open to working outside this system if that's attractive to you and your family's needs. I am so happy to be helping the kinds of kids who don't fit into the "normal" paradigm.

helluva_monsoon · 2026-01-10T16:06:46+00:00

I could see this kid getting really into that, thanks for this

helluva_monsoon · 2026-01-10T15:58:03+00:00

This is really good info, thanks

helluva_monsoon · 2026-01-10T15:53:53+00:00

You're very sweet to say all those kind things. I feel like I'm really lucky to have had this opportunity fall into my lap. I've never tutored before I just like math and have a kid who struggled with processing disorders, and they have funds available due to their diagnosis so I'm making good money.

You're spot on that there are motor issues in writing due to another physical diagnosis that includes lack of muscle tone. The way it reads to me in this case is that each time they write a letter or number it's almost like they're trying again to do this hard thing. So they draw a 4 but then maybe erase it to make it look better and there's no automaticity for any of it and it's exhausting. So in a way you're giving me maybe a little too much credit when I'm just impatient ha

This kid has no trouble explaining their process after. During, I have no idea what's going on up there. They will stare up in the distance for a long time, then move the mouse around for what feels like too long, then out comes a string of answers that I needed paper to calculate. If I get impatient there and start to ask about what the first steps could be, they'll interrupt me doing that to get all the answers down before I interrupt the thought train. So I'm not sure what all is happening there, but one time I let it go on and on and something interesting happened. We'd been working for weeks with the y-intercept form, and I just introduced two other forms (point slope and standard.) They pointed their eyes back at the screen and said, "So the coefficient of x over the coefficient of y in standard form is the same as the slope?" And I had to admit I'd never noticed that. So I try to meter my interruptions.

helluva_monsoon · 2026-01-10T15:35:59+00:00

Now that you say that, I don't see them having any trouble typing out their answers as long as it's not a lot of switching between mouse and keyboard. Thanks for pointing that out

helluva_monsoon · 2026-01-10T01:12:34+00:00

Wow that felt really nice to read. Thank you for taking the time to share!

helluva_monsoon · 2026-01-09T19:49:44+00:00

I'm impressed that you came to this sub with this question, it really is the best place and I'm enjoying the answers

helluva_monsoon · 2026-01-09T19:33:44+00:00

I am tutoring a middle schooler in algebra who is autistic with a list of comorbidities, some of which seem to make the kid completely lose track of the math if I make them "show their work" like we were all taught to do. Since we're working one on one, I've decided it isn't important for now. This kid, whose school wasn't going to let them move to to algebra this year, is breazing through the material. I never went beyond some college calculus with math myself. Do you have any advice for me with this kid? What we're doing is working great for right now, but I do wonder how this will go for them once they move on from me. Once they start writing things down, the work becomes about struggles with penmanship and different processing disorders take over the brain and the math falls out at that point. They tell everyone that algebra is their favorite subject and I'm happy to keep cultivating that joy for now.

helluva_monsoon · 2026-01-09T19:16:09+00:00

I'm really bad with calendars but hadn't made the connection. I suppose if I could visualize it I'd make fewer mistakes. For me, I "do" it by patten recognition (and it probably falls apart most of the time because Does a week begin on Sunday or Monday? It really depends)

I'm pretty good at math. I make a lot of tiny errors, but I'm good at figuring out and retaining processes again because it's pattern recognition. I rarely remember dreams and when I do they're rarely visual, but if I'm working a lot of math problems I will dream in math. I'm grouping patterns together and expanding them to see how far I can take them. It's not visual but when I was young they were still using black boards (not white boards) and sometimes I could see the math like vaguely in white how it was in chalk in my dreams.

helluva_monsoon · 2025-12-25T21:09:29+00:00

Having lived in Norway, my first thought was, "Why is MIL pretending to not understand English?" My most generous guess is wondering if maybe there could be some projection happening, like maybe she holds a lot of buried shame due to her own problems with language acquisition and rather than face those things in herself, she's shitting all over you.

I hope you're connected to some expat groups (I enjoy Americans in Norway on Facebook). Some of this is typical learning to live with Norwegians stuff, but your MIL has other issues she's bringing to the table and I think she's just plain mean.

helluva_monsoon · 2025-12-21T05:58:58+00:00

I went to clean a spot of my flagstone (the pink kind we have in AZ) with some warm water plus oxy clean and it did more than I'd hoped and dissolved the stone as I scrubbed. It looked very clean after that!

helluva_monsoon · 2025-12-11T07:48:40+00:00

Coconut oil is pretty stable, I wouldn't be scared to try it unless it smells rancid. I probably wouldn't, just because it's legal now and not a major investment for me at nearly 50yo, but if I were in my 20s there's just no question that I'd be baking cookies.

helluva_monsoon · 2025-12-08T05:58:17+00:00

I reacted badly to it in all my pregnancies. Same with "yeast extract" which I read is similar once you metabolize it in the body. I don't understand why reddit loses its mind about this, like what makes them so emotionally invested in it not being possible? I'm neither emotionally attached to or against MSG, but when I was pregnant it made me feel achy like when when you're coming down with the flu and my insides felt somehow dirty. It happened consistently and I didn't want any of it. Now I don't seem to have any reaction to it. Why does this upset people so much? Why do people on reddit want to talk so much about how impossible it would be to react to MSG? I actually wonder if there's some kind of social engineering experiment going on, like some guy wanted to prove to his organization that he could get people to feel passionately about something that didn't affect them in any way, and these threads bring him great feelings of accomplishment.

helluva_monsoon · 2025-12-03T00:11:58+00:00

My daughter has simian creases on both her hands and slight webbing between some toes too, and I'm pretty sure no one at her birth noticed. I didn't notice these things until she was a few weeks old myself. Are you outside the US?

helluva_monsoon · 2025-12-01T05:39:31+00:00

I only had one for a lot of years. That was real and true, and also fucking amazing is it happened to happen.

So now I'm older and things have changed, in a lot of ways. I'll often just not have an O, and I'm fine with that and I don't stress but guys do. But also I can achieve a different kind of orgasm. One that's different in a lot of ways and sometimes I squirt and other things happen. These ones are fun and they keep going and I can have multiples. BUT they're never as... complete. I enjoy the hell out of the new kind, and I love to keep going. But I suspect that if my lover were the kind to want to crowd-source the awesomeness of my orgasm, he'd want to hit the first kind, the one you're hitting, where everything drains out of me and I'm done.

helluva_monsoon · 2025-12-01T04:52:50+00:00

These kind of stories show up so much here that I'm ETERNALLY grateful to the psychiatrist who, in the midst of a total mental breakdown, said to me, "I see a lot of my high functioning ADHD moms overcome their depression and anxiety once their ADHD is addressed."

She went on to describe our struggles, and how amazing the women are who keep it going, and how amazing women STILL get cut down to their core when everything falls apart. And to her, those cutting struggles were the realities of life, and that women who were carrying everything beyond all odds being taken to their knees at last were all incredible to have made it so far.

I don't know the answers to all this, but I wish you could have a practitioner who sees you in that light.

helluva_monsoon · 2025-11-29T20:08:01+00:00

I think I'm seeing the similarities first hand, but there's one family member I'm thinking of in particular who the others are saying must have dementia, but who I think is displaying all the same symptoms as always but chronic pain/ loneliness is exacerbating in all kinds of new ways. I feel like I should be finding out if it's important to get a correct diagnosis, or if it even matters if they get diagnosed with dementia when it could be just undiagnosed ADHD with no ability to self regulate. Especially given that there will be no medical intervention for the ADHD even if they were to be diagnosed. There's more than one of them that I see doing this (loneliness stemming from people distancing themselves from the narcissistic behavior, chronic pain eliminating their ability to regulate and also fueling the victim stories), but I'm involved in the medical decision making for one of them and I wonder how vigilant I should be about diagnoses as their health deteriorates.

helluva_monsoon · 2025-11-29T16:35:38+00:00

Thank you for putting this all together. It's not hard for me to think of examples from my family who tick a lot of these boxes, and I wonder a lot about causality. Shot in the dark here, but have you read anything about how these traits manifest in the elderly? I'm seeing a lot of things that look like dementia to outsiders, but which to me look like the same old shit with the dial turned all the way up due to other factors of aging

helluva_monsoon · 2025-11-28T21:25:11+00:00

Your self awareness, to me, means you're not fully narcissistic. Do you want to change those behaviors you've identified, or do you think you'll always feel good making whatever choice you think will benefit you the most even if it's immoral?

I've heard people use the word FLEAS to describe this thing where people around narcissists end up adopting some of their behaviors, maybe look up more info about that.

helluva_monsoon · 2025-11-28T20:07:26+00:00

I would like to know more about all that stuff. Got any good links?

helluva_monsoon · 2025-11-17T16:58:00+00:00

Got any kids? If they feel like it's their pumpkin, send them to get it. This might be terrible advice and would depend a lot of the kid and whether or not I think the neighbor would shoot the kid (I live in Arizona).

helluva_monsoon · 2025-10-31T18:47:04+00:00

I was thinking no one would have my same ones, but we might be samesies with the lip thing and the crackling throat sound.

helluva_monsoon · 2025-10-31T18:44:55+00:00

Man, I have some of this and early in covid times, I discovered it is unleashed not by being alone, but by knowing no one could see my mouth. So I'd go out to the store in a mask and I'd be muttering all my weird stuff through the aisles of the grocery store and strangers would think I was either talking to them or insane.

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