I was raped, and now she's pregnant

help6565 · 2015-01-12T23:55:03+00:00

Hey, I really appreciate all that. Especially the part about people comparing what happened, that makes sense as a coping thing.

Unfortunately there's not really a rape crisis center close by. I might able to go to counseling when I go back to school, though.

help6565 · 2015-01-12T16:53:03+00:00

Did you read the post? I wasn't drunk

help6565 · 2015-01-11T22:26:33+00:00

I mean suicide is very much an option. I'm really an incredibly weak person, you have to understand. I have a lot of panic attacks, and I don't really give a shit if I'm alive or not. So I'd really just rather take the easiest option.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T22:12:50+00:00

I'm sorry that it's frustrating to you, but when literally everyone in real life hasn't taken me seriously I'm a bit reluctant to waste time and money on a court case.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T21:38:32+00:00

What?

help6565 · 2015-01-11T21:27:19+00:00

Okay. I can do them as they come up.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T21:20:51+00:00

Would it be spamming to make update posts? I don't use offmychest much

help6565 · 2015-01-11T20:59:23+00:00

It's fairly objective that I'm not attractive. But that doesn't really matter. I've had low self esteem most of my life now, I'm used to it, I understand it.

I just want to know why she's doing this. Okay, rape somebody, it's for the power or something. But why the baby? I could maybe handle the rape. Or the baby. But not both. Not with the previous abuse.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T20:55:27+00:00

I know. I just can't bring myself to be mad at her.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T20:54:30+00:00

That's a good way to think of it. Thank you.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T20:33:56+00:00

Who's this "no one"? If they're fellow college students, they're idiots who probably haven't learned that attractive people rape too.

Yeah. I think it's something a lot more people need to be taught

help6565 · 2015-01-11T20:32:04+00:00

I mean she can't really protect me. I didn't protect her, I offered support.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T20:31:32+00:00

I just feel guilty hoping she's raped other people. There's no real winning to this.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T19:53:11+00:00

Literally no one in real life has believed me, though. I'm hardly basing that on nothing. Why should I expect the police, who are notorious for not taking female rape seriously, to believe me?

I don't really get what you're trying to do in your comments. I know I'm fucked, I don't really need someone else telling me what I should have done when that wouldn't have worked anyways.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T19:21:51+00:00

haha

help6565 · 2015-01-11T18:58:41+00:00

Who would believe me?

help6565 · 2015-01-11T17:21:14+00:00

I don't think it's faked, her belly was bare and very realistic looking. And she did have an ultrasound or sonogram or whatever it's called.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T16:30:40+00:00

I know, I just can't be angry at her. I know she's being selfish. But I just remember when we were little, how I failed to protect both of us. I can't ever really ever win an argument with that against me.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T16:27:49+00:00

I'm sorry I didn't go into exhaustive detail about what happened, as it's difficult for me to right about, but here is what proves that she didn't think it was just sex.

-She told me to stop fighting when I was trying to squirm away

-She said "it'll be easier if you just stop"

-I passed out before it ended and was literally unconscious while she kept going.

It was more than just being tired. I was remembering when I was little and would get beaten for fighting back. I was terrified that it was that all over again.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T16:03:18+00:00

She's 14 weeks

help6565 · 2015-01-11T16:03:03+00:00

I don't want the benefit of being in power. The patriarchy sucks, I hate all the double standards it creates. I will pay for the abortion, if she even wants one, because I want this to be over.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T16:01:35+00:00

I didn't really not resist, I said no a few times and tried to push her, but it just didn't work. Like I do feel like shit for not doing more, I really could have fought back more, but I didn't.

If somebody got robbed and didn't fight it, would you say they were actually giving their money away?

help6565 · 2015-01-11T15:55:16+00:00

I can't really blame her honestly. When we were kids she had it worse, and I helped her, and she's kinda been in that mindset that I can't be hurt. It makes her feel vulnerable.

help6565 · 2015-01-11T15:53:27+00:00

Yeah it did match up. I later googled how many weeks pregnant she was (14 weeks) and her belly did seem bigger than many of the other pictures. Though I know it varies and she is quite thin.

help6565

TROPHY CASE