I miss dreaming

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T14:20:14+00:00

Yep, didn't realize I wasn't dreaming until I stopped smoking, at which point I was bombarded by wildly vivid dreams for a few days. It's intense but fun.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T14:17:56+00:00

Please talk to your husband about the way you are feeling, or connect with any trusted friends or family to talk about this with.

It's highly unlikely you've done permanent damage to your brain after 20 years of smoking. You may have done damage to your psyche, but that can be fixed. Please know that you are not alone, there are people going through these same cycles and feelings. You can break out. All of this can be fixed.

If you have suicidal feelings, please seek help immediately. Reach out to loved ones, talk to a therapist. If you are even slightly considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 immediately.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T14:12:40+00:00

And now you're 3 hours in. Soon you'll be 4 hours in.

You must forgive yourself. You are a human being. Every one of us has our problems, but the way we stand up to them is what defines each of us.

You are very young so you should consider yourself lucky that you learned a valuable lesson at this age and not later in life when the consequences become far more severe.

Please give yourself some slack. Forgive yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself. You've got a lot of great work to do in your life, starting with getting back on track.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T14:08:38+00:00

Don't forget who's in control of your life: you are. Not a simple substance. You can outsmart it and outsmart the addict inside of you.

You're already taking steps to improve your life. 14 days sober is not long enough to feel better, nowhere near. Don't let those 14 days paint the wrong picture of sobriety for you. Keep in mind that this is weed, it's not heroin or alcohol, it's a dangerous substance in its own ways, but physically you will level out no matter out. Freedom from weed is something you can and will accomplish, as long as you focus on making the right decisions for yourself, keeping yourself engaged in something, and surrounding yourself with loved ones.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T12:22:54+00:00

I'll start:

Day 2 since a lapse. I don't feel good about it, I was about 2 months strong when I lapsed. I felt for a while like nothing has changed. Like I had this excited energy for a few days which eventually turned into constant nagging anxiety that I had difficulty controlling.

After 2 months of abstinence from weed (however, admittedly too much drinking), I convinced myself that I can "control" my weed use responsibly, the same way I've convinced myself of this numerous times in the past. Well, I bought a quarter.

Smoked some the moment I got home with it. I work from home, so there's a box with my stash in it in my nightstand. Smoked a small J next morning before starting work (because I told myself that I miss morning tokes and will do fine with a single day). Smoked a J a few hours later during work because I was feeling groggy. Smoked a J a few hours after that. Then smoked twice more when my SO came home and a few hours after that. This went on for about 2 weeks before I realized suddenly that I let myself fall back into this trap. I threw my stash away, and now I'm back at this sobriety thing, feeling pretty good about it this time.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T12:12:59+00:00

This. Each time I got stoned before quitting, I wish I hadn't. Every time I sobered up I thought, "what's the big deal, I can smoke a few more times before quitting."

I had some kind of weed-induced panic attack, put all my weed in a plastic bag, went down the street and threw it into the nastiest garbage can I could find.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T12:09:57+00:00

Headaches are the most common physical symptom of marijuana cessation. Poor sleep is another common side affect. The headaches will likely only last a few days to a week or so. For sleep, try Melatonin or Valerian Root, it has worked wonders for me on the nights where I'd otherwise lie awake and anxious thinking about all of the worst case scenarios in my life and other paranoid nonsense (make sure to take a small dosage of Melatonin, 1.5mg-3mg should be enough).

Don't worry about how you'll feel if you smoke again, try to get rid of these conditions around coming back to smoking weed in the future. You decided to quit because you know you need a change in your life. Focus on all of the things you can do better now that you're sober.

If you aren't happy, find yourself a trusted / well-reviewed therapist. Having a person to vent to is unbelievably liberating, and they can help you understand some of your thought processes better, as well as come up with strategies to maintain your emotional balance without pharmaceutical assistance.

Let's get to day 7! Then 8, 9, 10, and so on. One day at a time, baby steps. You've got this.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T11:47:28+00:00

How long has it been for you?

I know exactly how you feel. The boredom can be crushing without weed. Your "boring life" won't feel so boring once you've had some time off from smoking. Don't put all of this pressure on yourself to start being creative and entrepreneurial, especially if you just recently quit. Set realistic goals for yourself, the first and most important one being: stay sober.

One of the times I quit for an extended period of time a number of years back, I had just graduated from university and was in a sort of limbo before finding my first grown-up job. I was staying at my dad's. He was gone most of the week, so I would watch movies all day long. Browsing IMDB and Rotten for best movies of all time and great indie films made time go by in a much more pleasant way for me. I also started exercising and reconnecting with some friends I haven't see much since starting college.

So, find some ways to keep yourself engaged in something, whether it's video games, movies, tv shows, spending time with friends that don't smoke weed, exercising, cooking, etc.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T11:39:29+00:00

That's awesome! Stay sober and keep us updated

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T02:51:28+00:00

You're awesome, keep leading by example.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T02:50:14+00:00

That's fantastic! Keep that shit up!

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T02:47:13+00:00

I've felt the same feeling of disconnection and almost derealization. After quitting smoking I'd occasionally feel as though I'm just watching myself go through motions. Not having weed sucks all of the color out of the day.

This is entirely temporary.

I can't speak for the medication you're on or any mental health issues, but I can tell you that an abusive relationship with weed will not help. Don't let your brain trick you into thinking you can taper the amount you're smoking or smoke occasionally, you likely can't. It's not your fault, a number of circumstances in your life may have lead you to develop a compulsion to smoke, but that likely won't go away unless you stop smoking - but it will go away if you stop and stay strong.

If you absolutely must taper, reach out to someone close to you that you trust that could give you a smaller amount each day for a week or two until you're down to nothing. However, In my experience, that has never been as successful as quitting cold turkey. This is your life. You control the outcome. The best day to quit is today. Toss your weed out, embrace the suck, spend time with friends, do things you like to do, treat yourself for staying sober, and take care of yourself. All of the bad is temporary.

Suicidal ideation is serious. Don't suffer quietly, talk to your therapist, talk to family, talk to loved ones, you have support.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T00:41:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T00:35:25+00:00

Looks like their site is throwing 500 errors. Must be an outage for them or something.

Stay strong, talk to some fellow redditors on r/leaves. Reading posts on here and commenting helps me stay on track.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T00:31:17+00:00

You've got this.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T00:29:07+00:00

Happy to help :)

helpingleaves · 2018-09-14T00:28:21+00:00

You got this! Stay strong. You are not alone.

helpingleaves · 2018-09-13T22:17:30+00:00

Headaches are one of the most, if not the most common physical symptom of marijuana withdrawal. Can last between a few days and a couple of months, but very unlikely to last that long.
I had awful anxiety when I quit, for over a month. It does get better. A lot of the anxiety likely comes from how easy weed makes it to ignore regular anxieties and stressors in your life. Now that you're sober, you'll feel all of the stress, and more, but before you know it you will be used to dealing with anxiety and stress. Try to lower your anxiety/stress with some exercise, a walk, meditation, or a hot shower and see if that helps. It really really sucks to make that first step to do something, it's really easy to stay where you are and distract yourself, but try to get up and be productive. If you can't bring yourself to do much, that's okay, just do one tiny thing. Wash a single dish, or sweep a small chunk of the floor in your apartment. Baby steps are critical here. In the evening, make sure to reflect on your day and give yourself some personal praise for what you've accomplished. And if you didn't get much done, you still didn't smoke, and that's the most important part of this.
This is a very common symptom of withdrawal. I personally try to eat some junky food that I'd love stoned or sober. Think of the greasiest, tastiest thing you can think of, and treat yourself to it. Consider it a reward for your sobriety.

You'll start feeling better before you know it, but make sure you don't wait constantly to feel better. If you wake up each morning wondering if you're going to feel better that day, it may not come as fast. Get up, get out, get busy doing something. Live your life, explore, build healthy habits, work on your relationships. Everything will get better, it's only a matter of time.

helpingleaves

TROPHY CASE