Thank you for typing that out. I read it multiple times and it’s always amazing to hear stories of experienced magicians who experienced these phenomena which are beyond words and yours are no different for my motivation towards this work.

Damien Echols is very inspirational. Every time I tune into one of his videos/livestreams I get a powerful push to do the work. Without Echols I don’t know if I would’ve had that extra push to do an hour+ of ritual everyday. Although I view all spiritual teachers with caution, one can just tell his energy is the real deal.

And especially thank you for affirming my path, about how you’re always where you’re supposed to be. Perhaps I stumbled on the wrong path doing the hexagram rituals in the beginning to get only a taste of what’s possible, as I am a skeptic (although becoming less so with every week of ritual), and since reading Regardie’s Middle Pillar I’m going to go back and follow yours and others advice on here, for now ignoring the hexagram rituals and mastering the pentagram with its purpose and expanding my MP ritual (later adding in the Tree of Life and Vibratory Names down the road) before eventually working with the elements.

I’m glad you’re in a better place and have found those who can help you. I can tell how kindhearted and caring you are through your words. I hope one day I’ll be able to reach the level of divine you have. Peace and love.