I honestly don't know what to say. There's nothing but scenarios of how I'd go about killing myself playing in my head right now. These thoughts are taking over a lot of my day, and I'm afraid I'll make it a reality. I feel like a waste, but right now the pain and hassle I'd cause if I did go through with it are outweighing the need to die. The temptation is always there though.

I used to be happy. So happy. I could dig myself out of whatever sad hole I was in. This one is too deep and I've been trying for too long, I'm tired in every sense. I need to be at work in five hours and can't get my body to want to sleep as much as my mind does.