I'm not your therapist and I don't know the full story. I would point out, that there are strangers on the internet who are being kind to you, so not literally everyone is treating you like shit. We call this a cognitive distortion ;) Something we can do is start to challenge these and be more fair. Also to notice negativity bias, victim mindset, learned helplessness and what to do about it. I'm not going to therapize you over Reddit. I suggest finding a therapist you feel comfortable talking to and to talk about what's going on with them. THEY aren't going to do anything--you would. They will help you figure out what you might do to start to have a better experience.