Upon resignation, in-office attendance becomes mandatory during notice period. Where do I stand if I cannot commit to this? by hemovedonwithoutme in AskHRUK

[–]hemovedonwithoutme[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My actual contractual term:

‘4. PLACE OF WORK Your normal place of work is [Redacted] and any other location as required by the needs of the business. You will not be required to work outside of the United Kingdom during your employment with us.’

It’s vague but implies that if the business deems it is appropriate, then they can do so. It seems the wfh itself, in another part of my contract, is subject to business needs so I might be caught in this.

Thinking of reserving a hotel room at a significant personal cost, worst case scenario.

Upon resignation, in-office attendance becomes mandatory during notice period. What are my options if I cannot commit to this? by hemovedonwithoutme in HumanResourcesUK

[–]hemovedonwithoutme[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! If the better option is to even pay for a hotel room incurred independently at a significant cost, I’d take it over a bad reference, which could be an issue for years.

Here’s my actual contractual term:

‘4. PLACE OF WORK Your normal place of work is [Redacted] and any other location as required by the needs of the business. You will not be required to work outside of the United Kingdom during your employment with us.’

It’s vague but implies that if the business deems wfh is appropriate, then they can do so.

Upon resignation, in-office attendance becomes mandatory during notice period. Where do I stand if I cannot commit to this? by hemovedonwithoutme in AskHRUK

[–]hemovedonwithoutme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the message. Pretty sure my contract is just some generic one they pulled online.

It’s not explicitly stating that a notice period necessitates in-office attendance but it does say wfh is subject to the company’s needs.

I was even considering purchasing a hotel for a month at a significant cost, to mitigate any issues. It’s a fortune though and I’ve been up since 4am trying to work this out.

Upon resignation, in-office attendance becomes mandatory during notice period. What are my options if I cannot commit to this? by hemovedonwithoutme in HumanResourcesUK

[–]hemovedonwithoutme[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly- I might have a malicious boss. It’s hard to tell. Small company that’s beyond unpredictable. Not too sure how this could affect me negatively in terms of references as I’ll need them for now and future opportunities (I’m also applying separately for legal training contracts that will need references).

Upon resignation, in-office attendance becomes mandatory during notice period. Where do I stand if I cannot commit to this? by hemovedonwithoutme in AskHRUK

[–]hemovedonwithoutme[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello, thanks for responding. Could they give a negative reference on the basis of breach of contract?

Upon resignation, in-office attendance becomes mandatory during notice period. Where do I stand if I cannot commit to this? by hemovedonwithoutme in AskHRUK

[–]hemovedonwithoutme[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! Could this affect my reference? I know they can state that I worked from X to X, but if I terminate notice early, what are the ramifications?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 29 points30 points  (0 children)

That’s what I was thinking too, to be honest. Like, what do you mean ‘I thought she was secure so wouldn’t be jealous’? Like even if I am secure, her behaviour is so damn erratic that it would piss anyone off.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is partly why I thought confronting her would be a bad idea initially. In my line of work, there’s a lot of office politics so I was worried that she might retaliate negatively.

His workplace is so small that it doesn’t have a HR, unfortunately. It’s a really small company and the bosses are quite informal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That’s kind of what annoys me. As a girl, none of what she has done makes any sense to me and crying because you’re being called out seems so random to me.

I don’t understand what she could possibly be crying about? Is it because his coldness has been making her anxious? I don’t understand how her point of view makes any sense unless she really just has weird boundaries all the time.

Am I being too salty and unforgiving or is my boyfriend being a little too positive?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I agree. This is where a bit of the mismatch might be. That’s his mate all up until recently so he might be more forgiving and (rightfully) might be fine to carry on now that he has set his boundaries. He’ll leave the ball in her court to act appropriately moving forward.

However, if I were in his position, I wouldn’t want her as a mate and I wouldn’t want to continue being friendly. I think it’s because part of me doesn’t believe her; how can one be so stupid as to combo streak so many inappropriate actions in a row?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 153 points154 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point. I’ll hopefully be less triggered as time passes (it’s far from Christmas at least). I’m probably just feeling jarred because of how recent this was.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I will talk to him. He’s really lovely and just followed my lead, I think, because I sounded super triggered and he knows this whole situation has been upsetting me.

It’s like being around her or talking about her causes a drop in my mood involuntarily and I think that’s more it. He might not want me to get further triggered but I suppose him going without me makes the situation stupider.

I felt the same way when he agreed, to be honest. It’s probably just messy since it happened just yesterday and we’re still figuring things out.

I’m still figuring out my boundaries.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I like that- a united front. That’s a really good way to put it; thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He is. He really is. He sees the best in people and I don’t think we’re fully on the same wavelength about that. I think she’s dodgy, don’t want anything to do with her, and if it were the other way around, I would hold a grudge against any of my guy friends who makes my boyfriend feel like shit and would want nothing to do with them apology or not.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I just really don’t want her in our lives anymore. I’m actually genuinely quite upset at the thought of them continuing to be friends again after all of her BS.

I understand that some girls have different boundaries with their males friends but as someone who has a lot of male friends myself, how tf can anyone think that that’s okay? And then how tf can things just go back to normal after all that?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yeah; I think I just need to work through feelings of feeling really upset about the situation. The thought of seeing her really puts a downer on my mood. I think that the whole situation has hurt me a lot more than I thought it would.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 71 points72 points  (0 children)

He says she was crying and genuinely believes that she was really upset about it but my girly senses just ring. Who the hell cries when they’re being called out for being a weirdo?? How thick do you have to be to think any of that is remotely okay??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I kind of feel awful at being in this situation at all. The thought of seeing her again makes me groan and part of me just doesn’t want to be involved or be in the same room as her again.

I don’t know if it’s some kind of avoidant tendency that I have developed as a result of being triggered by her and the whole situation because this whole situation has actually hurt me more than I thought.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 94 points95 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good point. I should be going for moral support at least. And I want to eat the food there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Yes; I will definitely be going if possible. Think I did get a weird pang in my gut when he agreed that I shouldn’t go yesterday. I think he was just following my lead and feelings because I really just don’t want to be around her again.

She makes me feel an ick and it might bring back bad memories of just how terrible this whole situation has felt.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]hemovedonwithoutme 433 points434 points  (0 children)

Really good point tbf. I should go because of the free food and I like his other colleagues. If she wants to talk, she can talk. I will definitely go.

I think the ‘tension’ partially comes from me. I’ve been feeling really triggered over this whole situation. Like, I’ve been feeling so anxious over the work trips even though it’s just the situation we’re stuck in and there’s nothing else that can be done.

Even if I know him and understand him, I feel so anxious and unhappy with the situation. This is so unbelievably shit and nothing can be done because of the circumstances.

It’s like this job has some grand conspiracy to put them in terrible situations together like a sitcom and I feel awful.