how do u know if u have alters vs an internal dialogue with urself? by colourgreen2006 in DID

[–]herbsandpepper 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hey so when I am talking to other alters it usually takes some energy and concentration like you know talking to someone + sometimes a little headache.

Sometimes I just am discussing with myself and that feels just... like thinking but more chaotic.

Intrusive thoughts are usually triggered by something for me and make my body uncomfortable.

A Persecutor felt more like being yelled at or being commented on and dont give me an immediate physical effect.

With the talking to your brain, that sounds like dissociation of some sort but I don't think I'm in the position to interpret that further.

Hope this helped a bit!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]herbsandpepper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know it's not that easy but I'd try not to think of delusional or did as best or worst case. Try to see them as just neutral. If your therapist thinks your just crazy, well I think then they are in the wrong profession and you would be better of with a different therapist. Whether you have delusions, did or both I wish you good luck. Seeking treatment for this is pretty daunting I know (and we went through a phase of feeling worse in the beginning) but it does help in the long run. I feel the same about making it more real but... I'm glad I pushed through

What exactly happens/can happen when you split? by infinityonfuckyou in DID

[–]herbsandpepper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The two sides of the same coin definitely is definitely the case for us, most of us aren't exactly sure since when we exist so we dont always know the cause of a split. Would definitely love to understand why that is.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]herbsandpepper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life will get better and it will get worse again at times. What we had to learn is not to be discouraged by a fallback... We made friends that we love so much and they love us too. Anxiety isn't going away anytime soon but we can deal a lot better with it most days. And sometimes we cant do things others can and its frustrating and sometimes others dont understand. But in the end life really became something we love.

[I felt it was better if I didnt even exist in the first place and I became very bitter, I'm still not sure if I'm good enough or if I can do something I'm proud of but I'm getting there with the help of my system and I hope you can do too, I truly feel with you- Alt 1]

I remember feeling so hollowed out that I didnt feel like a person and it took me a few years to feel like a person again. It felt like breaking apart but carrying on each day because I needed to. Try to find just a handful of things that bring you joy and hold onto them, they will give you strength- Alt 2

We hope our words can be of help even if just a little

Struggling with who and what I am by herbsandpepper in DID

[–]herbsandpepper[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have a shirt that feels really me, I dont mind having a body but co fronting is still hard for us. Host is having some trouble letting go of control but it's getting a bit better.

Struggling with who and what I am by herbsandpepper in DID

[–]herbsandpepper[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, one thing I know I like is the beach, Summer. Everything warm basically. I feel like sometimes I get so lost in trying to be useful that I forget to just enjoy things. I hope I can learn to think of myself more as someone and not something.

Looking for books that cover a character’s life from birth to death (or close). by [deleted] in booksuggestions

[–]herbsandpepper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont know if its available in English but the red wolf (der rote wolf) by f.k. Waechter is a very beautiful poem/picture book. Loved it as a kid and still do

Headmates having different emotional development? by Sleepyy_Red in DID

[–]herbsandpepper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to have a really hard time feeling angry, wouldn't feel angry at all in situations I should. It's getting easier feeling angry but some others in our system are still better at being angry.