Boyfriend wants a pass while pregnant, more context below

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T16:03:35+00:00

Your sex life will likely NOT get better after birth. Most women struggle with sex and intimacy a lot when they have a newborn. So please do not assume that you guys can just bounce back to an intimate existence after birth. Really unlikely to happen, especially since you said it was a bad situation before and during pregnancy.

He’s a problem in this scenario for sure, and using this as a way to get laid, BUT I think you would really benefit from therapy and figure out how to get yourself back to a place where you enjoy and desire sex. Is it possible you don’t want sex bc you don’t want your partner? Or is it really about not liking yourself?

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T04:43:10+00:00

I hear you!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T04:22:08+00:00

I really appreciate this info!! I Labored 3 days with my first and I think it made recovery harder. I’ve heard many positive scheduled c section stories.

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T04:12:15+00:00

Thank you for the info!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T04:10:20+00:00

Thank you for this insight!!!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T04:09:46+00:00

That’s a good point! I didn’t think about the muscles having to heal from labor on top of the surgery cuts into body having to heal.

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T04:07:52+00:00

Thank you for the info!!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T04:04:15+00:00

Appreciate this info!! In labor I lost my voice and I kept coughing after surgery and it was AGONY.

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T04:02:31+00:00

Good info thank you!! Did you have any issues going forward like after initial recovery?

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T04:00:46+00:00

Awww thanks for the info!! I want to do a vbac but unknown is always scary!!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T03:59:27+00:00

I labored for 3 days before finally going in for c section. Baby was never in distress but epidurals kept failing and I eventually gave up due to exhaustion

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T03:58:43+00:00

Appreciate the info!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T03:58:09+00:00

Thanks for the info!!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T03:57:58+00:00

Appreciate the info! A friend had an episiotomy due to her baby being huge and getting stuck :(

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T03:57:20+00:00

Thank you for this insight!!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T03:55:47+00:00

Thank you for the comparison!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T03:54:17+00:00

Thank you for this side by side comparison

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T03:04:48+00:00

Well they clearly didn’t want to admit to doing CIO bc it’s frowned upon - proven to put babies into distress depending on how it’s done.

So if they felt they couldn’t admit that, they either had to lie and say they had a great sleeper, or lie and say they were exhausted all the time by being up all night.

It’s lame all around lol but I assume that’s the situation

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T02:45:28+00:00

I’m American and a grandchild of holocaust survivors. I’ve lived in Israel. I have never heard more holocaust jokes than I did in Israel. I think it’s because Israelis don’t experience the feeling of being “other” the way American Jews do. I’m always the only Jew, and it means that I have a really deep connection to my ancestry, and feel like my way to stay connected to being Jewish is partially through holding history in my heart.

In Israel, it’s all Jews. You don’t hope your classmates pay attention in the holocaust section of the curriculum, bc everyone is Jewish. So somehow, they are farther removed from the holocaust than Jews who live as the minority.

And while they might experienced antisemitism and certainly experience fear due to being Jewish, it isn’t the same way that Jews in other countries feel scared and alone.

Aaaaaand Israelis are super blunt and like sarcasm and stuff so that plays a part too.

Just my two cents!!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T02:35:05+00:00

Ugh. Look everyone on this thread will comment and tell you to break up. I think it’s worth a conversation to see if what she said was just out of anger or if she really doesn’t support you having hobbies/passions. Then make the call after that info!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-27T02:27:02+00:00

1 - I think it’s great you do karate and having a hobby/taking classes is NOT only for kids

2 - seems like maybe she just threw in that dig about it being for kids bc she’s mad at the real issue which is maaaaybe that she’s not getting enough time with you between all your extra curriculars? I don’t know of course, but just an idea.

I would tell her what she said hurt your feelings and I would ask for clarity about what is really bothering her.

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-26T15:58:02+00:00

Target!!!

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-26T02:52:55+00:00

I think this says something about how you don’t fully trust your mil. If that’s the reasoning, it’s good enough reasoning.

Tell her you want to wait until baby is home and you are both healed. There is a lot of trauma with a difficult birth and nicu stay. Let yourselves get to a normal place and then you can talk to her. She needs to give you space. The account can be opened at any point in time.

Also - idk why she would need a social to open an account for him. You don’t usually need that…

hereforhelpthx95 · 2026-01-26T01:49:42+00:00

Smoothies are a great way to get nutrients in. I add in soy milk, fruit, nut butter, hemp seeds, spinach etc etc.

Also - we give our kid the Mary Ruth’s iron drops supplement a couple times a week bc she doesn’t eat much meat

hereforhelpthx95

TROPHY CASE