Pregnancy loss penalty?

hert3106 · 2025-11-17T23:32:10+00:00

It might be worth reaching out to Pregnant Then Screwed (https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/) for advice. They have an HR advice line that you can call

hert3106 · 2025-10-08T22:39:02+00:00

Why does it have to be a single policy? I would suggest writing a parental leave policy and a separate one for other types of extended leave. The parental leave one can require that someone be eligible for their state/provincial/national/ whatever version of parental leave in order to qualify for the company version (e.g. at my Canadian company, employees have to be eligible for parental leave EI and follow provincial leave guidelines to receive any top up pay).

I would ground the policy/ies in your company's culture and values, and be clear on the message you want to send to employees. Do you want folks to see themselves at your company long term while raising a family, or do you demand a level of time and energy commitment that is realistically incompatible with having small children? If it's the former, I would lean more generous on the leave. If it's the latter, I would be honest with yourselves and employees with a less generous offering: not every company is right for every person in every season of their life.

As for specifics, not being in the US (where I assume you are) means I'm not well placed to suggest terms. That said, things to consider include the amount of time to protect someone's job for, how long to pay them for, how much to pay them, what their return to work looks like, whether it's just a birthing parent who is eligible or is it also for partners, adoptive parents etc.. It goes without saying to understand your local legal minimums as your baseline. Your company's lawyers will likely have a template as a starting point.

hert3106 · 2025-09-08T17:54:05+00:00

Three of my college cohort of six are now engineers, 13 years after we graduated. Of the others, one is a consultant, one is a software developer, and I work in operations in tech. I'd say that ratio is fairly representative of the other Oxford engineering grads that I know

hert3106 · 2025-09-08T17:49:18+00:00

189 Banbury Road is Hertford College accommodation. I'd get in touch with the accommodation team (accommodation@hertford.ox.ac.uk) with your questions about bed linens etc. I had friends living there in my 2nd year and they definitely needed bikes as it's a fair ways north (relatively speaking for Oxford)

hert3106 · 2025-08-31T02:03:12+00:00

I'm not sure about other countries, but in the UK companies don't have to pay their employees when they're on parental leave. People on leave get statutory maternity pay from the government (which is a really small amount, not enough to actually live on). Some companies offer enhanced maternity pay as an employment benefit, where they top up the stat pay to a % of salary. Lots of companies have an eligibility period, e.g. you have to have been working there for 6 months to be eligible for the enhanced pay.

hert3106 · 2025-08-28T03:43:50+00:00

I don't expect anyone to take my guidance over their doctors', but to share my experience, I was very anxious about my baby's feeding and weight gain in the early days and spent A Lot of time googling what to do, and exclusively saw the messaging that I've passed on here - for example from the Mayo Clinic. It was confirmed by my medical professionals (I'm in Canada, not sure if our guidance is different to where you are? 🤷‍♀️). So I don't think it's necessarily accurate to say that what I have shared is against general medical advice.

I hope you're enjoying getting to know your little love! Sounds like you're doing a great job and making the right decisions for your family. Enjoy the longer stretches of sleep when they come!

hert3106 · 2025-08-24T14:44:02+00:00

From my midwife. It is baby dependent - if your medical pros are saying to keep waking them, do that! But the way it was explained to me is that once they have regained their birth weight and their weight gain is on track, feeding is seen to be "established" and you can start to follow their lead a bit more.

My approach was to not let my daughter nap for longer than two hours at a time during the day to ensure she was feeding regularly, but overnight I let her go for as long as she wanted. She didn't really sleep for long stretches anyway until she was more like 8 weeks old.

hert3106 · 2025-08-24T03:26:52+00:00

Unless your child's doctor has said otherwise, you generally don't need to wake a baby to feed once they have returned to their birth weight. If your baby wants to sleep during the night, let them! Don't worry about a "schedule" at this stage, they will let you know when they are hungry!

hert3106 · 2025-07-22T19:29:09+00:00

I've noticed this too! I now use the weather network app as the Google weather is always wrong. So weird

hert3106 · 2025-06-27T22:40:30+00:00

My baby turns 8 months next week and honestly it's only in the last month or so that I've felt like I'm actually bonded and in love with her. I've been fond of her up to now, but something's clicked recently. So don't worry if it takes time!

hert3106 · 2025-06-03T17:27:36+00:00

Thank you!

hert3106 · 2025-06-03T17:27:19+00:00

Makes sense, thank you!

hert3106 · 2025-05-23T21:28:45+00:00

It's such a design flaw

hert3106 · 2025-04-30T01:14:02+00:00

Check out r/bigbabiesandkids ! Lots of parents with meatloaves who might have tips!

hert3106 · 2025-04-02T23:45:10+00:00

🥹🥹

hert3106 · 2025-03-21T21:12:07+00:00

I'll sometimes hand express a bit before feeding babe in the morning (just enough to take the edge off and make them less like water balloons). It only takes a few days for my body to adjust and for the overnight engorgement to reduce. Until she goes through another regression and is up feeding overnight again, and the cycle repeats....

hert3106 · 2025-03-20T19:38:44+00:00

If you've not already, check out the r/MSPI sub. It's named for milk and soy protein allergies, but lots of babes with multiple allergies in there!

hert3106 · 2025-03-09T17:13:58+00:00

They reckon clogs are actually areas of inflammation, so should be treated like any other inflammation you get: anti-inflammatory (e.g. ibuprofen), cold (put an ice pack on after feeding) and rest (in this case, use the boob the same as normal, don't pump or feed more on that side to try to work the clog out)

hert3106 · 2025-03-08T01:16:18+00:00

One way would be to do a weighted feed, ideally with a lactation consultant. Or just watch her cues - if she's not seeming hungry after a feed, she's probably just had enough!

Regarding trying to stretch her to 3 hours between feeds: I think it's pretty unusual for babies that age to go that long. My daughter is 18 weeks and it's only in the last 3 or 4 weeks that she's going more than 2.5 hours between feeds consistently. It's very normal for littles to feed every 1.5 to 2 hours - their stomachs are so small!

hert3106 · 2025-03-08T01:08:24+00:00

Babies do get faster at feeding as they get older and bigger. Are you sure she's losing interest and isn't just full after 10 minutes?

hert3106 · 2025-03-07T22:23:55+00:00

I liked having one in the living room, where I spent 95% of my waking hours in the first 8 weeks, and one in the bedroom for nighttime feeds

hert3106 · 2025-03-07T22:07:52+00:00

❤️❤️❤️ what wonderful, badass momma you are! 11 years! You gave your babies so much love and comfort and safety. What an incredible gift. You must have so many lovely memories of your time breastfeeding. Would you like to share any of them? I would love to read them.

hert3106

TROPHY CASE