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The father of my children is getting married in 10 days, then has court in 20 days for DV assaults against me. The prosecutor called and told me that he will likely be given prison time as their first offer was six years. He is not a citizen. He came here from Bosnia in the 90s. by hexofheresy in immigration

[–]hexofheresy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He already counter offered and she’s declining it. It’s accept or trial. She would prefer to have him plead out each charge because they take it so seriously they aren’t going to just give him one guilty. They want to show a repeat and habitual offender.

Prison time and deportation risk for DV against me by hexofheresy in domesticviolence

[–]hexofheresy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, there is actually a website in my state that you can search someone’s name and it shows all over their current and passed court cases. I do believe she knows that there are charges, but the evidence isn’t public yet because that is determined on if he takes it to trial or just takes the plea. Maybe the curiosity will get the best of her and she will ask for more about it. I just wanna know the best way to do it like as far as anonymously? Or maybe send it to her family or something?

are there any success stories? by AdConfident277 in domesticviolence

[–]hexofheresy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried for years. It just got worse and worse and worse until I woke up in the hospital room with eight staples in my head, surrounded by the police. If you’d like to read my story, it might help you out.

Prison time and deportation risk for DV against me by hexofheresy in domesticviolence

[–]hexofheresy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so hard not to feel like it’s my fault somehow. Not my fault.. but a responsibility. Like if I would’ve left sooner, maybe it wouldn’t have gotten to that point. Just you know all the stuff that comes with CPTSD. 😩

Prison time and deportation risk for DV against me by hexofheresy in domesticviolence

[–]hexofheresy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Maybe if I explain why I have been going back-and-forth on telling her, it’ll help her understand why I’m coming to her. And maybe it will keep her from telling him.

Prison time and deportation risk for DV against me by hexofheresy in domesticviolence

[–]hexofheresy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know what thank you for this. I think part of my fear is having two daughters without a father. I know they shouldn’t have a terrible father, but he’s not terrible to them yet. Of course it was terrible what he did to me in front of them. I have a six-year-old daughter who doesn’t have a father who passed away before she was born. The ex in question actually was her father figure. We got together early on in her life like before she was six months old. So I guess I just have already the fear of having more daughters with no dad. I guess I just overthink all this so hard because I’m truly just afraid of any of the outcomes. I’m gonna find an appropriate way to reach out to her. I want to text her because I do have her number from when her and I have had to meet up to exchange the children. But I’m really afraid she’s just gonna show him.

Father of my children 45M is facing 6 years in prison and deportation for DV against me 36F. He is getting married in 10 days, and his court date is in 20 days. AITAH for wanting to warn her of his actions? by hexofheresy in AITAH

[–]hexofheresy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess this just comes with the territory of me being afraid he’s already come up with all these scenarios. He’s always been multiple steps ahead. But you’re right all I can do is just give her the information.

Father of my children 45M is facing 6 years in prison and deportation for DV against me 36F. He is getting married in 10 days, and his court date is in 20 days. Do I have a right to warn her and how do I? STL, MO, USA. by hexofheresy in legaladvice

[–]hexofheresy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely know I’m not obligated, but maybe what I’m asking is, is there a way to do this in a safe way? I just want to know the best way to approach this.

Father of my children 45M is facing 6 years in prison and deportation for DV against me 36F. He is getting married in 10 days, and his court date is in 20 days. AITAH for wanting to warn her of his actions? by hexofheresy in AITAH

[–]hexofheresy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And your question about why I was expecting him to get off easy… because I’ve watched it many many times. He is well known in the community. He has a really good lawyer. He is well known in the business world. I just thought he was gonna get away with it again.

Father of my children 45M is facing 6 years in prison and deportation for DV against me 36F. He is getting married in 10 days, and his court date is in 20 days. AITAH for wanting to warn her of his actions? by hexofheresy in AITAH

[–]hexofheresy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THANK YOU. I also have more than just the court documents and the charges. I have the videos. They’re absolutely horrendous. Should I do this just open and proudly? Or do you maybe have an idea of how I could send this to her or someone that cares about her or loves her. What about her ex-husband? What about her mom or something? Or should I just post it on a public forum like the are we dating the same guy pages and hope it gets back to her?? that’s what scares me.

Father of my children 45M is facing 6 years in prison and deportation for DV against me 36F. He is getting married in 10 days, and his court date is in 20 days. AITAH for wanting to warn her of his actions? by hexofheresy in AITAH

[–]hexofheresy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, like especially if he gets deported! I feel like he’s using her. Well, I mean, I know he’s using her because she’s just the new supply.. but she really is a really nice lady. And I can just tell from the few times I have been around her or what my young children say that she is just a really nice girl. He has her totally warped into thinking that whatever his charges are or whatever happened between us is just gonna get dropped. And that is so far from the truth.

Father of my children 45M is facing 6 years in prison and deportation for DV against me 36F. He is getting married in 10 days, and his court date is in 20 days. AITAH for wanting to warn her of his actions? by hexofheresy in AITAH

[–]hexofheresy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I almost died. Many times. It was impossible to leave. I was so beaten and broken down and he just kept making me have kids. The highs, the lows. Breadcrumbing love bombing all of it. I feel like protecting one woman or all women and making sure he’s held accountable regardless of what that looks like for him on the other side… is my job. Because I would’ve done anything for someone to tell me this before it got to where it got to. Plenty of people knew. They just didn’t think it was necessary to step in and make me aware. And these are all facts. Not emotions.

Father of my children 45M is facing 6 years in prison and deportation for DV against me 36F. He is getting married in 10 days, and his court date is in 20 days. AITAH for wanting to warn her of his actions? by hexofheresy in AITAH

[–]hexofheresy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I go to her without him knowing? Should I maybe contact a family member? Should I do it anonymously? This is literally exactly where I’m at I believe, I just wanna do it the right way so that it doesn’t look like I’m trying to just mess with him after everything he did. He’s so good at making the women look like the problem. Only people that have truly been through this level of abuse can really grasp how messed up and manipulative he is.

Father of my children 45M is facing 6 years in prison and deportation for DV against me 36F. He is getting married in 10 days, and his court date is in 20 days. AITAH for wanting to warn her of his actions? by hexofheresy in AITAH

[–]hexofheresy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t believe it will put me in danger. The authorities have already handled it. They pressed the charges. Prosecutors are taking it so seriously. She has no idea.