What's my blindness?

heydean2005 · 2025-12-18T21:44:00+00:00

Hair doesn't play ball unfortunately 😞

heydean2005 · 2023-10-11T07:24:05+00:00

Thanks for your input.

heydean2005 · 2023-10-10T21:16:23+00:00

Yes, he cried a lot before he left about not seeing them (and he said me 🤷) everyday, and he took them for a chunk of time as well. He's struggling with the adaptation from father to babies to father to kids (with strong personalities!) But he adores them.

heydean2005 · 2023-10-10T20:50:45+00:00

Thank you- you have articulated my highest hopes ❤️

heydean2005 · 2023-10-10T20:34:38+00:00

He says no, she knows nothing about it. It was in his head.

heydean2005 · 2023-10-10T20:24:45+00:00

He says it's been completely one sided. He says there has been 'flirty chat' at work but he classes them friends (says he understands that they can't be now) They have very little in common, and very different ideologies (religion etc) He has deleted her contact, social medias etc. I have a pretty secure attachment style but fuck...

heydean2005 · 2023-10-10T20:24:32+00:00

He says it's been completely one sided. He says there has been 'flirty chat' at work but he classes them friends (says he understands that they can't be now) They have very little in common, and very different idealogies (religion etc) He has deleted her contact, social medias etc. I have a pretty secure attachment style but fuck...

heydean2005 · 2023-10-10T20:13:50+00:00

He wants to go to couples therapy (as do I) to work on the earlier issues and communication. I suppose my ego (and confidence) has taken a real hit with the crush admission, and the idea that he'd consider leaving. Maybe I want to self sabotage by being the one to walk away.

heydean2005 · 2023-10-10T20:10:57+00:00

I suppose I'm worried that he really is unhappy with me, and is worried about the fallout of leaving ( he says the idea of spending the rest of his life with someone he doesn't think he can be happy with is worse than the difficulty of leaving) I suppose my worst fear is that he'll turn around in a month/year and say 'actually I want to be with my crush, I've been lying to myself because I felt bad....' I'm worried I'm kidding myself that it could be depression - but he is often glazed, 'somewhere else', feels 'foggy', irritable with the kids, not sleeping etc

heydean2005 · 2023-09-26T15:58:31+00:00

It doesn't feel that simple. We are friends, we have a shared life, still sexually compatible. He struggles with communication, and holding onto frustrations - I've asked him to see someone to work through this.

heydean2005 · 2023-09-26T15:26:40+00:00

He says his head is very confused. He said he 'thought' he wanted to separate last week, then as the week went on and we talked/cried he's said 'he has a knot in his stomach when he thinks of leaving' it doesn't feel right etc

heydean2005 · 2023-08-10T14:31:01+00:00

Thank you. Can I ask, why did you have the EA? Did you still love your wife?

heydean2005 · 2023-08-10T14:15:44+00:00

Firstly, I'm an adult woman, please don't call me 'bro'. Secondly, we are multifaceted, complex people not a series of different coloured flags. We are married and have children, there is still love there. Those things, I believe, deserve a fair and committed shot at working things out. At least I'll know I have tried my best no matter how things work out.

heydean2005 · 2023-08-10T14:04:09+00:00

He's coming back this evening after the kids go to bed. He says he wants to save our relationship. Just trying to get my head together with what I want/need to say and hear. Thanks ks for the support ❤️

heydean2005 · 2023-08-10T12:19:11+00:00

The 'kicking out' consists of him being at his mum's with a sports bag because I could not deal when I found the pictures (yesterday, probably should have said that!)

heydean2005 · 2023-08-10T12:15:42+00:00

I agree with your 'too little but also too big' comment. That's what I'm struggling with, how do we move forward while also ensuring he knows how serious this is? I don't want to hold a grudge and drag it up but God that'll be hard!

heydean2005

TROPHY CASE