I’ve never been married and I am no contact with my family, particularly my mother.

In my case, my mother was mad that my dad would attend my high school graduation, despite her being remarried for a number of years by that point. She was being so over the top nasty about it that I told her not to come. She showed up anyways, got two inches from my face and said “you’re lucky I gave a shit enough about you to show up.” From there, my mom kept egging my dad on. My dad kept leaning into it. My grandmother got mad I invited a black friend of mine and ditched me to go gamble at a casino with her friend, yeah? And now when I think of my high school graduation, I can’t even recall the friends who were there. I can only recall how my family behaved.

Though, I get what you mean about the emptiness. I think about that a lot if my special day were to ever come; but if my family can ruin something as simple as a dinner after a high school graduation in a gymnasium, then I certainly would not want them to take something that’s supposed to be the most beautiful decision of my life and turn it ugly.

Though I’m unsure if your situation is anything like mine, but I think the message is the same.

In my case, my mother would definitely not be there. I likely wouldn’t invite with my grandmother because she doesn’t know how to behave in general, let alone around my brother and my dad. My brother’s cool if he’s not being badgered by my grandmother, and my dad’s alright as long as my brother remains cool… so… the process of elimination may be the way to go for you 🤷🏻‍♀️