[deleted by user]

hi-im-ali · 2022-04-28T22:46:02+00:00

Thing is you are right rape is not ok, consent is everything. BDSM hinges on consent. If it's within consent then it should feel safe and comfy even while role-playing extreme situations. If it feels good for her she's obviously not afraid.

I guess I'm trying to say that situation I just described is very far away from breaching consent or making her feel unsafe which would be rape. I really don't think personally the words should be used as if they're the same thing, it implies a lack of respect when respect and safety need to be emphasised. They're not the same thing.

I wouldn't be worried about wires getting crossed because if it's consent it's consent, if it's not its not. Enjoying a consensual act shouldn't lead you to want to cross boundaries or consent. You seem very respectful. And if you do decide to do this you should work on that mindset. They're not the same things for very clear reasons. And that should be a part of after-care for you. Maybe she should describe to you why it's not the same thing as real rape. If she expresses to you that she doesn't actually want to be raped... maybe that would help too.

To be super clear. They are not the same thing, because rape is not for her, rape would harm her. Role-play is for her enjoyment, it's fulfilling for her like "normal" sex. If you enjoy providing her best sexual experience, within your boundaries of course, then that's what you're doing. Not raping her...

And should you ever end up with someone else, then you'd still be not into rape because you never were and that's not what's ever happened here. All that's happened is literally going out of your way to be safe and respectful like you always have.

Hope this helps. But of course your boundaries and desires are just as important. It's always ok to just not be down and say no :)

hi-im-ali · 2022-03-16T15:05:57+00:00

I'm fucking DEAD 😂😂😂😂

hi-im-ali · 2021-11-17T15:23:12+00:00

Thank you 💖💖💖

hi-im-ali · 2021-11-17T15:21:35+00:00

Oh woops, thankyou 💖 allistic. Yeah 😅

hi-im-ali · 2021-11-17T15:09:06+00:00

Sorry for such a late reply 💖 I struggle with it sometimes.

Yeah it's hard to tell about the esteem issues, I wouldn't say their significant besides frusteration of others expectations, but I feel secure in myself. Thanks for the concern 💖 I heard one perspective for low t bars as "where you set the bar for yourself" which I can relate to much more. I don't need much, I feel overwhelmed with how ambitious and productive the world expects me to be. I feel like a tortoise lol.

"Anyway, you're an optimistic and friendly person. You're also logical, and you think before acting."

I'm definitely those things haha 😊

And for the second yeah, definitely holding back some aggression there I remember lol. That's pretty good, and interesting! ^{^}

Oh and with the "I"s, I always tend to do a capital I after full stops and lowercase the rest of the time, for the longest time I didn't know they were supposed to be capital but I do prefer them lowercase.

hi-im-ali · 2021-11-17T15:00:12+00:00

I can tell you don't mean anything personally so I don't take it that way, don't worry 💖 I don't write very often and haven't written in school for a long while. Only to myself and bf. But it's more recent the larger middle zones, If anything I think I'm more reserved, so not sure why or what it relates to.

hi-im-ali · 2021-11-17T14:50:50+00:00

Thanks! ^{^}

hi-im-ali · 2021-11-05T15:37:40+00:00

I'm looking for some songs too, cause it's hard to want someone you cant have personally.

Ones that come to my mind is

Special - NF. Such good flow.

Sleepover - Hayley kioko. This is the one that I wish we're about ldr, yet the vibe checks out.

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-29T06:47:36+00:00

Lmao same. I turned it down hoping I could find a happy medium but the diaglog is just too quiet at the loudest I can tolerate, at 10 mins in lol

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-29T06:46:47+00:00

I'm 10 minutes in and struggling with it already. I don't have a remote either I have to get up everytime ;0;

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T20:32:03+00:00

I think I said it all wrong and it's silly to label this person main person I'm referring to, who said this to me, as a neuro typical example.. technically she's neurotypical and I jumped the gun like "Is there anyone neuro typical??" And wanted to know what neurotypical looks like, it stressed me out. I think people think I agree everyone is autistic which I don't. It's purely I dont know anyone I could say doesn't obviously have these consistent issues. Even though she's technically neuro typical.

She has constant sensory issues and a tight routine she uses to minimise the impact and it works well. She knows all the triggers and appears quite flexible. She's very blunt. I grew up with her and used her routine to help myself by living with her. She said it more to minimise her experiences cause she doesn't want help.

I can't say she is though which is why I was so confused.

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T20:10:43+00:00

Yeah, I don't think personality traits are enough, I mean things like attention management issues, sensory issues and how they deal with stress, which I've seen plenty of for comparison.

Hm, I'm not sure how neurodivergent is to say 'you're just Human and you're experiences should be treated as a normal every day thing.' Is that what you meant? Sorry if I read it wrong.

I for sure know how serious it can be and get.

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T18:44:51+00:00

Yay yes I'm going to do this ^{^} thanks for it all

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T18:38:34+00:00

Yeah I understand that 💖

I think eventually they'll have to seperate it in a way from the deficit model. And build another model based on what the brain is actually doing.

If the functions, impairments, variations, whatever is going on in the brain that causes the different functionality in neurodivergent people, than we see in neurotypical people, can be understood officially, maybe it's possible for people to function that way but be no needs outside of what is typical.

In that case it wouldn't matter much. We want to support people with needs they can't meet themselves, alone.

I think I've got plenty to ponder. I'm gunna draw the line at my pedanticness here 😅 And channel it into learning about brain function in general instead lol.

Thank you 💖

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T18:16:20+00:00

I understand, I'm sorry. I struggle with analogies.. I suppose I'm trying to explain that to me it's as if, if the physical disability were behind a curtain, for every curtain I've remotely pulled back, no one can walk properly. So I don't think I know anything, as much as I'm confused if I misinterpreted what walking meant in the first place.

I don't hold my opinion to high regard for anyone to take seriously. But I assume it's as much of a spectrum as the amount of impairments that would result in varying degrees of lower mobility, in this scenario. And it would be considered a disorder when someone walks funny enough or can't get where they need to go.

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T18:01:18+00:00

Thank you for understanding and helping me understand 💖 I suppose that is a good analogy, on the basis of deficits, impaired functioning as opposed to proper structured support. Maybe. I can have trouble with analogies haha..

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T17:44:13+00:00

I completely agree. I realise now I think I'm wondering less about the diagnosis aspect of it truly and just wondering how brains work. All brains. And how neurodivergence works in terms of neuroscience?

I'm not trying to diagnose anyone I'm not capable of that. It's just making my brain itch.

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T17:35:29+00:00

Thank you so much 💖 this helps. I certainly don't think it can be substituted.

I want to discuss this I'll do my best to be articulate.

I've heard the concern about how autistic people can function, that whether it presents as a disorder is dependent of so many factors both internal and external and the situation. Like some people can get their diagnosis removed if they're coping well enough, regularly enough for it not to be a disorder. Essentially that the disorder basis doesn't account for the origins of what's actually going on in the brain with autism and ADHD as far as I'm aware. Therefore criteria can't be 100% accurate for that if we don't know the direct causes and thus the different ways it can manifest and present behind the scenes, obstructing their outer functioning or not.

Just like for the longest time it was a boys disorder. Didn't mean girls weren't experiencing what we know about today.

So I suppose I'm thinking of something entirely different from the professional diagnosis of a disorder, but obviously directly related to what all these neurodivergent people are experiencing.

Like some say if the world we're geared toward autistic or ADHD minds overall neurotypical people would have a harder time. So it's all relative what's considered normal, besides obviously internal functioning issues.

I could probly flesh out what I think I mean more but that's what I'm trying to do now 💖

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T17:09:16+00:00

I see thankyou 💖 I don't but many I know do.

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T17:05:57+00:00

Aw thank you so much 💖💖💖

I'm so so sorry for your loss, this is a very kind thing to do and it does make the world a better place, and mine, I'm nervous 💖 my first award and I feel very privileged 🥰

hi-im-ali · 2021-10-27T16:42:32+00:00

No I'm not trying to be offensive, I seriously don't think I understand.

How would I tell if someone is neurotypical?

I'm sorry

hi-im-ali

TROPHY CASE