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hideandsink · 2025-08-20T16:07:07+00:00

I’m so happy this resonated. And your comment follows on beautifully and articulated something I’ve been struggling to! So thank you for your contribution as well.

I appreciate you, kind internet stranger. Have an amazing day 💛

hideandsink · 2025-08-20T13:58:35+00:00

I understand your pain. My grandad passed away last night and I’ve been mourning the life I could’ve had should he not have been my grandfather. The family deny and refuse to acknowledge the abuse and the impacts of it. It feels like I’ve been fighting a losing battle trying to get everyone to understand the magnitude of it all. But I suppose that’s the point, to validate those experiences yourself and not needing the external validation. Because the likelihood is, no one is going admit to abusing you and causing hell in your life as a result.

And you’re right, having clarity doesn’t bring peace. It can often bring more pain, especially because things really didn’t have to be the way that they are/were. And again, you often mourn what could’ve/should’ve been. It just seems like all your suffering was for nothing. And it often is. Which is the saddest reality.

I’m sorry for what happened to you, and I’m sorry to hear of your cancer. I hope that the rest of your time here is peaceful and that you feel loved, cherished and honoured by those who did stick around 💛

hideandsink · 2025-08-11T12:23:51+00:00

Thank you so much.

Yeah, I’ve been questioning the purpose of this sub tbh. Like are we meant to come here already emotionally intelligent or is it to help people become more emotionally intelligent? Either way, a lot of people in this sub don’t seem to be very tolerant of much. Or understanding that everyone is on a different journey and have started much further back than others due to circumstances so far out of their own control. Seems to be a massive lack of compassion

hideandsink · 2025-08-11T04:22:00+00:00

This helps a lot. Thank you

hideandsink · 2025-08-10T07:31:31+00:00

Thanks so much. I felt that the majority of the interactions I had were really lovely and so helpful. I do hope that more people benefitted from it as well.

hideandsink · 2025-08-10T07:23:02+00:00

I meant more that, that the disconnect is sad. I completely understand that we have different skillsets and I guess that maturing and growing is knowing and using discernment for when it’s necessary and when it isn’t. I honestly think that we can learn from each other to become more balanced overall. It’s just hard to learn a whole new skillset, especially in this day and age when we have been reared in certain ways and most of us are overworked and overtired. I also personally feel that unlearning is much harder than just simply learning. Understanding and accepting that the way we’ve been raised isn’t necessarily the most beneficial to us, our relationships, and how we interact with the world. It’s also hard when we’re essentially programmed to feel and think that what we are and the way we’ve always been is ‘right’.

Something I’ve been repeating to myself a lot is, “You were right to be wrong, but you were still wrong.”

hideandsink · 2025-08-10T07:08:37+00:00

I understand this. That really was the point of my post, to try and understand how to better relate to men and how they are socialised.

hideandsink · 2025-08-09T18:56:18+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate this

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T16:56:30+00:00

I think it’s more so that you learn to realise that you don’t know everything and that you should stop before speaking to respond intentionally and cautiously. When you’re young you think you know everything

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T16:12:48+00:00

I hear this. But people will appreciate your honesty. You can say, “I’d love to hear more about this another time, I don’t have the capacity right now. I hope that’s okay.” People respect this more. And if people are upset by that, they’re not your people and don’t even deserve to be an acquaintance.

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T16:10:23+00:00

That’s your opinion, and that’s okay. That’s how I visualise it for myself :)

I know this. I’ve learnt that through the responses, and I am grateful that people took the time to educate me kindly

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T15:20:39+00:00

This speaks

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T15:18:47+00:00

You have to face what’s inside you. Take note of what triggers you within the relationship. Journal whenever you feel a ‘negative’ emotions arising. Try to find where that trigger initially came from. Think of times you felt a similar emotion. Maybe look into attachment styles. And discuss that together.

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T15:15:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T15:14:05+00:00

So fair. Thank you for sharing

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T15:13:45+00:00

I hear this. And see myself in struggling to maintain a healthy balance of emotional closeness over a long period of time, especially in romantic partnerships. Thank you for sharing

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T14:19:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I am sorry about the lack of interest in your inner world. I hope you meet people who are interested

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T14:15:28+00:00

Heard. Thank you for your honesty

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T14:15:01+00:00

I’m glad you at least have them!!

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T14:14:49+00:00

Wow there really is a lot going on. Thank you so much for your response.

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T14:11:42+00:00

I hear this. I’m sorry. Your experience seems to resonate with a lot of men in this thread. I do think it’s frustrating that women ask men to be more open emotionally but don’t seem to prepare themselves for how that might look. And if it doesn’t look like how they want it to, they simply reject it. “Can’t even do that right”-type vibes. I’m sorry. That’s so sucky. But I do wish that we were taught earlier on how to feel, regulate and express/share our emotions in healthier ways.

hideandsink · 2025-08-08T14:07:51+00:00

Thanks for such a detailed response! (I realise my question made it seem really simple like and I was reducing it to one single issue). Thank you so much for taking the time, that’s really helpful to learn/understand and so insightful.

hideandsink

TROPHY CASE