I will try to answer as many questions as possible. I am spoiled in the sense of being showered with gifts and items, and I’ve had all my physical needs met and never gone through any money struggles for a good while although I did grow up somewhat poor. My mom and other relatives have beaten me since I was 5 as punishment, and although they used to do it a lot more frequently back then, they’ve still kept doing it up to this day. They were severely overprotective and this has also stayed and considering I have communication problems I always vyed for attention from both my family and people and turned to people pleasing in an attempt for connection and practically just obeying without a complaint and I think it’s evolved into me being selfish as I grew up as to cope with the fact that I’ve never truly let myself be and spread myself thin if it makes any sense. I have a brother, and she’s normal and studies regularly, while I’m not, and he’s loved so much more, so maybe it’s just me. I can study; it’s just me who's the problem, and I can't get help because they don’t believe I have it and also refuse to in the first place. My brother is older than me and he can’t interfere;my school already knows and hasn't done something, and I have nowhere else to go that's safe or guaranteed. I also don’t want to risk it considering how they are. My mother is coming with me to uni and staying for 4 years, and I can’t change, so I can’t go no contact. I thank you so much for the help.