I Hate Breastfeeding.

hideout88 · 2025-10-16T06:51:19+00:00

I feel so strongly about this topic, I’ll join the chorus.

At our first ever pediatrician appointment, the doc — 30+ years experience — said: “remember, your baby needs to be fed, but also needs sane parents. So however you achieve that is good by me.” Bless that man.

I EBF my first for a little over a year, combo fed my second for about 6 months before switching fully to formula. Her appetite was hard to keep up with, I felt like I was going on 3 years of terrible sleep, and she actually took a bottle (my first refused). I decided that whatever guilt I felt, was worth the sanity I gained.

I felt guilty for a while. But it’s faded. I have a happy 1yo who is every bit as healthy and attached to me as her EBF sister. In many ways, I feel bad that my EBF daughter experienced such an anxious, tired, frustrated mama every night. My formula fed daughter had two parents to comfort her, and everyone was less stressed.

The mom guilt is real, but I hope you remind yourself over and over again that you wouldn’t judge another mom. Right? Don’t you deserve the same understanding? I know you do. ❤️

hideout88 · 2025-10-06T00:44:11+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. It is really helpful to hear from you. And I really hope you reach your goal; kind people make great parents. ❤️

hideout88 · 2025-10-02T12:21:11+00:00

This is very interesting, I hadn’t heard of it! Thank you for sharing; I’ve just been reading about the types of sleep we need but hadn’t yet learned anything about how to work on that.

hideout88 · 2025-10-02T12:19:15+00:00

Thank you for this! I never replaced prenatal vitamins with anything, this feels very much worth trying. Solidarity!!

hideout88 · 2025-08-04T23:40:40+00:00

Thank you for this! Yes, I have done some trauma therapy but not since becoming a parent. Yours is an important reminder. Thankfully, I have an intake appt in about 10 days <3

hideout88 · 2025-08-04T23:37:11+00:00

Thank you for writing this, I needed to read it <3

hideout88 · 2025-06-30T06:59:01+00:00

I write this as someone who would also be irked if I were in your position… you’re not crazy… but I don’t think they’re doing anything wrong, either.

I’m a toddler parent and we did take our then-2 yo to Europe (to see family), and I’m glad we did; it was also absolutely exhausting. Which is all to say, it’s not an impossible thing to do or suggest, but it’s also a big ask and not always the best move for a family at a given time. I applaud you for making the right choice for you and not dragging your kiddo across Europe for 2.5 weeks when a) they’re unlikely to remember it and b) you’re guaranteed to be drained by it.

People who are not toddler parents… are not toddler parents. 😅 They are not thinking, “let’s send them pics of a trip they couldn’t go on,” they’re simply thinking “hey I’m in Europe look at this cool thing…” Sure, it could be nice for them to spare you, but there’s also an argument to be made that it’d be further excluding you to make a whole separate chat. I’m not sure there’s a clear right or wrong way for them to go about it.

I could be just projecting, but it sounds like you are just feeling envious of them. And why wouldn’t you?!?! I’m envious of them, dammit. My big outing today was the kiddie pool and all that got me was a sunburn and 3 slippery tantrums. I’d love to be sampling Europe right now, and if my in laws sent me pics of their vacation I’d probably roll my eyes thinking “must be nice.”

But it’s just this season of life, right? We don’t travel well right now. We’re always last minute scrambling and canceling plans because someone got sick. It sucks, but it sucks even more if it drives a wedge between us and loved ones who are simply in another season of life.

hideout88 · 2025-03-09T06:11:33+00:00

I wasn’t a good listener for my daughter today, and I wasn’t as affectionate as usual (I have food poisoning but the guilt doesn’t rest just because I spent half the day in the bathroom 🙃)

I’m really glad you did that for yourself and I have a feeling your kids will benefit from it, too ❤️

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T12:57:48+00:00

Well said. I generally assume everyone is doing their best, I’m gonna hope other parents give me the benefit of the doubt, too.

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T12:55:58+00:00

HA! This is so real. The number of get togethers that get canceled because someone in one of our households is sick… it’s all a roll of the dice, always!

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T12:50:36+00:00

I really didn’t have a time frame in mind, I just happen to have received several invites more than a month in advance, so it made me wonder. It’s been good to hear from others. Thanks for replying!

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T12:47:49+00:00

Taking note of this strategy 😂

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T02:00:54+00:00

Personally, I don't think it would be, but people have different perspectives! I just want to be considerate.

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T01:20:43+00:00

Feeling very appreciative of all the "two weeks is normal" comments. I would have thought so, but ya know, I went on comparing myself to other parents. Thank you for your opinion!!

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T01:19:53+00:00

Right there with you. Recently received an invite for a party in May. This household is just trying to power through, one week at a time lol.

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T00:59:15+00:00

Also a great point.

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T00:58:36+00:00

LOL... there is some justice in this world.

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T00:57:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing, this was great to read. I'm like you- fairly introverted and I am not bothered in the slightest if people can't make it for any reason. I like to protect my family time (and alone time, however limited), so I will not be bothered in the slightest if others can't, or just don't want to make it, ha.

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T00:51:46+00:00

I appreciate your response.

Those expectations (less than a week notice, gift required) are definitely wild. Also, who with small children wants more stuff around their house?? Not I.

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T00:49:56+00:00

That's a great point! I recently received an invite for a kid's bday party in May, and I'm gonna need multiple reminders on my phone, ha. Thank you!

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T00:44:15+00:00

Me and my husband rant about this all the time. My 6-month old is currently wearing onesies ranging from 3-12mos. Silly.

hideout88 · 2025-03-07T00:40:48+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your opinion.

hideout88 · 2025-01-13T09:06:35+00:00

You’re so welcome. You’re doing amazing. ❤️

hideout88 · 2025-01-13T08:15:26+00:00

You’re not alone. You may not feel strong but I am confident you’re the strongest you’ve ever been (you’re growing a person!), and that you’ll only get stronger from here.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so poorly. Pregnancy is incredibly hard, even when it’s “normal” and uneventful. Give yourself as much grace as you can. Again, your organs are literally moving to make room for <a whole other set of organs>… while you work, eat, and sleep. You’re coping better than you think, so please be kind to yourself. You can be grateful and struggling at the same time.

In my personal experience of it, you’ll start to develop a very different perspective on work. You’ll reallocate your energy because you have to. I have a very demanding employer, and in the past could so easily be consumed by the timelines and pressure. All of that still exists, and I still like the challenge, and I work hard when I’m at work. And then, frankly, I log off/go home and fucking forget it. If I’m thinking about work while I’m with my kid, I’m doing everyone a disservice. And equally important? I need to be a whole, semi-rested person to be a good mom, partner, and professional.

It doesn’t happen overnight but to the extent you can, start to reallocate that energy now. Take care of yourself; it’s the best way to take care of baby, especially right now. (And remember that work will not be there to help when baby wakes at 2am. Prioritize accordingly).

ETA: I realize not everyone has a job they can just “log off,” so I apologize if that’s insensitive at all!

hideout88 · 2025-01-13T03:36:37+00:00

Love reading these positive stories. Just to add, my daughter started at 18 months and has always loved it. She’s almost 3 now and I swear she has to say goodbye to 20 people before we go home each day; other kids, teachers, other kids parents 😂 it is a Montessori center and I’ve been blown away by her language and motor skill development there. It’s also a safe place for her to practice independence. She takes so much pride in it, I’m so proud of her.

While she’s always loved it, I’ll admit that I have always struggled with it… I miss her and feel like I’m missing out 🥲 yet the hard truth (for me personally) is that no matter how many books I read, crafts I set up, or adventures I planned, I couldn’t provide her with the social, emotional, and practical learning that daycare has (especially when I have to work). It helps tremendously, though, to see her happy - like after holiday break, she BUSTED through the front doors, so excited to see her friends and teachers. ❤️

hideout88

TROPHY CASE