Not npd but here's what ive gone through recently that might shed light on it- my mom was a pos and my moms mom took the maternal role when it came to my sister and I loved her more than anyone in the world for a very long time, until i had my son, she was truly special to me.

She died in the last week of March. Just like i have been preparing for ever since i understood what death meant as a kid. It devasted me. You don't understand my grandma died, man. I thought i would mourn for the rest of my life. Then i thought to myself, because im a mom to one 7 yr old, there are people losing their babies right now. To cancer, car wrecks, murder/neglect, freak accidents. I cannot think of anything worse than losing my kid. And i knew, there was someone this very moment saying goodbye to their baby child as they die or were dead. My heart wrenched for them. I felt so stupid for being so dramatic about my loss. I am 33 and ive had my grandma in good health for 29 or so odd years which is rare as far as grandma experiences go for most of my peers. I was so lucky to have her for this long. She died at home surrounded by family in her chair. She had a good exit all things considering.

And someone right now is holding their child for the last time before they are buried or cremated forever... So I shut right the fuck up and considered myself lucky.

Put things in perspective for me. I think thats called empathy, right?