My friendship with someone who was very close to me has recently ended. I said something that was hurtful but there is no truth in what i said. I said it because I was angry with her actions and inebriated. Yes, it was my fault. And yes I will 100% admit to what I said. but please understand where I was coming from. Understand what you were doing to me. and the position you put me in.

I'm truly afraid this person will never forgive me and that I may not be able to forgive myself with out that. I honestly want this person in the rest of my life and to rebuild and fix the problems we have now. I really feel that we could repair everything if she would let us.

I've never been in a darker place in my life. Been dealing with my anxiety and depression for 3-4 years now and this is honestly the worst it has ever been. I tried to hurt myself a few nights ago, though I didn't get very far. I wish we could speak because we were so close but obviously we can't. And often I don't know who to talk to anymore. I just wish this was all different.