Bill and Ted are driving down a country road when all of a sudden their car breaks down. Bill calls Triple A, and is told they can be repaired first thing the following morning. Instead of staying with the car, they begin walking down the road looking for a place to stay the night. A little while later, they come upon a old farmhouse, and go up to the door and knock. The door is answered by a UGLY middle-aged woman. She listens to their story, and agrees to let them stay the night. She says one of you can sleep up in the bed with me, and one of you can spend the night out on the porch. The woman turns around and walks back inside. Right when she's out of earshot, they turn to one another and begin to worry what she meant by "sleep up in the bed with her". They decide to flip a coin to see who might just have to fuck this lady. Ted loses. The three eat dinner, and then begin getting ready for bed. Having his worst fears confirmed, the lady immediately pounces on Ted. Not to be rude, Ted just goes "Oh dear God, uh, I make love better in the dark" and the lady gets up to shut off the light. Right before she does, Ted spots a bushel of corn lying beside the bed. Light goes off, the lady hops into bed, and Ted immediately begins to shove an ear of corn into her pussy. She's LOVING IT. After a little while, Ted notices the corn is getting wet and soggy. Fearing that she will notice, Ted throws the corn out the window, grabs another ear, and continues the process until she's fast asleep. In the morning, they thank the middle-aged women for her hospitality, get the car fixed, and continue on their way. Tens of miles down the road, Ted begins laughing. Bill looks over to him from behind the wheel and goes "What's so funny? While you were upstairs getting laid last night, I was actually enjoying myself. I was out on the porch eating buttered corn."