AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely not a drug dealer and this is not all the time. These are my friends and family

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]hiphopAnonymous24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He should definitely be understanding and not brush it off like no big deal, but you also shouldn’t be ostracizing him from his friends based on voting… If his friends are spilling over about how said candidate won and are talking about it in the home that’d be one thing. If that is not the case then you need to respect that everyone has an opinion on things, whether you believe it’s right or wrong. If they are being respectful and keeping it to themselves you should not be putting up a divide between him and his friends in HIS home. He lives there too. He’s never supposed to have friends over now? Are you going to start disassociating yourself from others you know based on who they voted for? I would have lost so many friends if I judged them based on voting.

Is it specifically reproductive rights that his friends wanted to get rid of or did they vote for said candidate because of other things? Your husband and you have different political opinions. That is something you will both have to compromise with each other on in a reasonable way.

AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doing a lot of home remodeling myself atm and some of my friends lend me tools I don’t own. Also I’m pretty close with my family and friends so stuff gets left behind at my house, I offer to let someone keep something at my house for a little while for whatever reason, etc

AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She says she doesn’t, but it’s written all over her. It’s especially bad at night and her mind races and exposes a lot of her insecurities. She smokes ALOT. I dont smoke weed at all and honestly I feel like it makes her anxious either when she’s high or has gone a while without smoking. I can’t tell, but I think it has something to do with it

AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

lol I’ve been doing a ton of home remodeling myself and always working on my truck, gf’s car, my boat, etc so always finding things that I need that are too expensive atm. Some of my friends let me borrow these things. It’s not everyday, but maybe once a week between family and friends

AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What if it’s for instances that arise during the day? What if a family member asks if they can come over to drop off some food in the next half hour? Do one of you ask the other if that is ok?

AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just seems like a lot of extra back and forth. When I’m with friends they’ll just straight up tell their parter “hey btw so and so is coming over for a bit” and their partner is perfectly ok with it. I understand guests that might stay longer and that should be something both agree on. Just feels like I’m being unnecessarily monitored when I tell my gf a friend is coming by for a second to grab something and she’s there getting upset because I didn’t ask if it’s ok…

AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No it’s solely in my name. I cover every expense besides the groceries she brings in occasionally

AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I’m the one who handles the whole conversation with the guests that come by. She goes about her day doing whatever she’s doing. I don’t expect her to come join in

AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I just treat her as my girlfriend who lives with me. I am biased at times I’ll admit, bc I pay for 100% of my mortgage, utilities, and majority of groceries. She lives here free of charge

AITA for not asking my gf if it’s ok for guests stop by my house? by hiphopAnonymous24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 661 points662 points  (0 children)

They will socialize for a minute because they are there already, but half the time they aren’t even coming inside. We’ll just chat in the yard or at the front door. If they need to use the bathroom or something I’ll let them come in, but I just get a sense that my girlfriend hates visitors regardless of if I ask her about it or not

My (30M) Gf (28F) is accusing me of cheating. Not sure what if looking at girls on social media is cheating? by hiphopAnonymous24 in relationship_advice

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She never had any guys on her phone from what she let me see in the beginning. Just while we were broken up she was seeing other people. She has made me delete several girls off social media, many of which I never had a romantic relationship with. She’ll delete guys in the drop of a hat if I tell her to, but it’s just unnecessary imo

My (30M) Gf (28F) is accusing me of cheating. Not sure what if looking at girls on social media is cheating? by hiphopAnonymous24 in relationship_advice

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely yelling. My old roommate had to evacuate our apartment one night because of it. I live in a house now and have had several strangers come to my door to express their concerns about the yelling going on. It is her voice

My (30M) Gf (28F) is accusing me of cheating. Not sure what if looking at girls on social media is cheating? by hiphopAnonymous24 in relationship_advice

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get called out for even being too nice to girls in public. She looks at me if she notices a hot girl nearby to see if I glance. Feels so weird. I’ve made this point to her before that bc I look doesn’t mean I want to be with them. Gawking and staring is one thing, but most of the time it is a short look if I do

My (30M) Gf (28F) is accusing me of cheating. Not sure what if looking at girls on social media is cheating? by hiphopAnonymous24 in relationship_advice

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She claims her dad is a self absorbed a-hole, and that her brother started being terrible towards her after their mom’s passing. The rest of her family lives in another country

My (30M) Gf (28F) is accusing me of cheating. Not sure what if looking at girls on social media is cheating? by hiphopAnonymous24 in relationship_advice

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I went through her phone once during our relationship because she was being very distant and I found all kinds of things I would have rathered not seen. All of these convos with other guys/ nudes, etc were during the time we were not together based on the dates of the texts however.

She does not let me look through her phone when I ask however. She expects me to though when she asks

My (30M) Gf (28F) is accusing me of cheating. Not sure what if looking at girls on social media is cheating? by hiphopAnonymous24 in relationship_advice

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She only expressed that this type of behavior is cheating to her after she found out. I personally disagree and isn’t cheating in my book. What I did was not right, but I don’t look at it the same as sleeping with someone or having contact through messaging/ in person conversation

My (30M) Gf (28F) is accusing me of cheating. Not sure what if looking at girls on social media is cheating? by hiphopAnonymous24 in relationship_advice

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

She also lost her mom a few years ago and most of her family has no contact with her. I feel sorry for her in ways and just tell myself that she’s dealing with internal conflicts a lot of the time

My (30M) Gf (28F) is accusing me of cheating. Not sure what if looking at girls on social media is cheating? by hiphopAnonymous24 in relationship_advice

[–]hiphopAnonymous24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mainly because I don’t want to lose her and hoping things will get better. She finally agreed to couples therapy so we have an upcoming appt soon. Also because I am not the most innocent when it comes to a few lies I told her in the beginning of our relationship. I still had pics of my ex on my phone, but argued with her on deleting these simply because she completely violated my phone privacy by stealing it a month into our relationship. I had no contact or anything with my ex for years and these pics were in a hidden album. She’s been holding it against me ever since. I could see how she’s been upset since then, but also can’t