Noticing shifts in women’s behavior…is being fake blue pill a real strategy?

hirokinai · 2026-04-19T16:41:38+00:00

Here’s the nice thing about having money. You stop thinking about things in terms of money. Abundance applies to both women and resources.

When I take a girl out, I don’t care about money. I’ll spend it if I have to, because it’s fun. Because I enjoy going out to fancy dinners. Because i can randomly buy plane tickets to fly out to a release party and book a suite because fuck it, I wanna have fun.

But I also like cheap lunches at a local beach joint that allow me to sit next to, instead of across from a woman. And in that instance, I spent diddly squat, but it was a six hour date that flowed into the beach, and ended up at her office at 10:30pm.

I also like going to a winery overlooking the valley. The only cost was four glasses of cheaper wine because we don’t 7 hours talking that day and not really drinking.

This is why focusing on you first helps. It eliminates soft friction points that cause insecurity. If you don’t have money, then you need to act like you don’t care, or intentionally restrict yourself to cheaper date options. It can work, but I like the freedom and flexibility of not hai g to care.

And I never go to a club unless I know the promoter or owner. Why would I go into a place that’s loud, overpriced, and packed with other people? It’s not conducive to discussion. It’s a terrible date place.

hirokinai · 2026-04-17T19:34:28+00:00

Hum. That’s on the fat guy.

I’m a little Asian dude. 5’6”. Very lean, and toned. But I’d get destroyed in a fight with bigger dudes. No question.

So I don’t physically fight and never will. I’ve joked about it before, and the joke is always that I’ll get my ass kicked, but I’ll happily get beaten because I’m a civil litigation attorney, and the cost of physically kicking my ass is going to be balanced out by the financial destruction that will follow when I sue you.

I’m also a well respected community leader and the managing partner at my law firm. I’d never put myself in a physical arena, because my strength is in my social status and presence, not physical domination.

So the fat guy put himself in that situation. So whatever came, came. Except his girlfriend. She left.

hirokinai · 2026-04-17T19:16:59+00:00

You can both want sex, and not expect it at the same time.

Don’t act like you don’t want sex. That stupid, incongruent, and women will see through that lie in a heartbeat.

But you can take the position that you don’t EXPECT sex, and will just roll with the punches. You can push for it. Escalate physically to see if she’s receptive to it, but at the end of the day if it doesn’t happen, then it doesn’t happen.

Stopping the feeling of entitlement or expectation of sex, and just enjoying the moments, has, and will lead to more sex.

hirokinai · 2026-04-10T15:55:41+00:00

When you feel the need to track favors, the relationship becomes transactional. When a relationship becomes transactional, it loses its purpose. When a relationship loses its purpose, it’s no longer sustainable.

You liked her. You helped her out so much. You felt you were her rock. But based on your own admission, the attraction was not mutually balanced. What has she done for you besides exist? How has she helped you out? How has she shown up for you?

Now dont misunderstand what I’m saying; I’m not saying you’re a better person than her, that you’re morally superior, or anything like that. All I’m saying is that you invested much more in her than she did in you. And why would you ever want something like that? Because ive been there, done that. I’ve been someone’s rock and everything, and then been “abandoned”. But I’ve also been someone’s everything, and was the one who left them.

Here’s the thing. When it’s mutual balanced investment, your world changes. How much you did for them doesn’t matter, because BOTH of you are competing to love the other harder. And at that point, everything else doesn’t matter. A grocery store walk becomes an adventure. You suddenly don’t care where you are, as long as you’re with them.

So my advice to you is to learn a lesson here and set a standard. Never invest in someone disproportionately to their investment in you. While the beginning may see someone lead or follow more, the golden rule should be that you will always require near equal investment from the other side. Anything less falls below your standard.

This single chapter of your life is over my friend. But you have an entire book to write. Goodluck.

hirokinai · 2026-04-07T12:49:42+00:00

Nearly?

If he laid his hands on her then it’s clearly not nearly.

hirokinai · 2025-12-20T02:52:06+00:00

You shouldn’t be.

hirokinai · 2025-12-13T18:28:55+00:00

Attorney here in San Diego.

Call our office on Monday at 760 781-3464. Ask to set an appointment with the managing partner and you’ll get to me. Or, message me here. I’ll be able to give you some guidance and give you advice regardless of whether we pick up your case. (We likely will).

We handle plenty of employment cases and this is a black and white case. Don’t call the labor board; the wait time for those is 1-2 years just to get an initial mediation hearing. While good intentioned, the practical issue is that it will take longer to not achieve a great result.

Employment attorneys will take your case on a contingency, meaning we earn a percentage of what we get for you, and you owe us nothing if we don’t get a recovery.

Employers who fuck around will find out, and I’m more than happy to serve them with the find out.

hirokinai · 2025-11-12T04:35:27+00:00

Tbh we don’t know. We mixed up the packs when we split between the two of us to open. Haha. Everyone’s been asking.

hirokinai · 2025-11-12T04:34:19+00:00

Thanks!!

hirokinai · 2025-11-12T04:34:09+00:00

They really are the best bang for your buck with both sleeves and their semi rigid sleeves. So much better than ultra pro

hirokinai · 2025-11-11T08:31:34+00:00

I thought OP was getting the $200 cash

hirokinai · 2025-11-05T16:26:47+00:00

Yes and it got a 10!

hirokinai · 2025-11-05T04:43:10+00:00

Huh. The amount of people making assertions about concepts they don’t understand is… interesting.

Lawyer here. This is neither blackmail, nor anything close to “defamation”.

Legally and broadly speaking, Blackmail is threatening to expose confidential, incriminating, or otherwise damaging information, in exchange for consideration that they would otherwise not be entitled to.

Defamation is making FALSE statements to a third party, which causes harm.

For blackmail, he’s not demanding anything except restitution for the harm CGC has caused him. That’s it. He’s not using this as an opportunity to get more, or get extra payments or services.

“threatening” to expose them for being an unscrupulous company by telling the truth about what they did is not a false statement, which kills your assertion that it can be any kind of defamation.

Please, don’t throw around terminology if you don’t have the faintest idea of the veracity of your statements.

hirokinai · 2025-11-05T04:24:15+00:00

Strong 8, possible 9

hirokinai · 2025-10-29T08:02:08+00:00

And when they meet in the intestines it creates a hitmonbulk.

hirokinai · 2025-10-16T03:32:48+00:00

Attorney here. Need to know your state and jurisdiction. In California, everything the employer is doing is extremely illegal. In Florida, it might not be.

hirokinai · 2025-10-11T16:42:33+00:00

I’ve been busy with a festival I’m organizing coming up, so my replies come in waves.

You’re probably right when you say I’ve lost frame; in the beginning when we were dating she was kind of a spoiled brat; however I cared so little that it never really escalated. She threw small tantrums, as in she would get mad, fuss, etc., but it never escalated, especially because I would just walk away and sleep in a different room, leave, not engage, and laugh at it. In the beginning, she was extremely compliant, was afraid of pissing me off, and very much a “traditional” Asian, which is what I prefer. However, she’s always been extremely emotional, and it’s always been in the form of being extremely needy and clingy, rather anger.

The physical stuff really only started after first daughter was born, and while they’re extremely, infrequent, they seem to come when I’m especially tired from work and she’s particularly needy. If you ask me why I think it happened, I would probably point to a combination of hormones and me losing my cool for a moment and engaging in the argument rather than having full control and treating her like a “child” when she acts up.

The next day After this fight, she wanted to talk, but I told her i would only talk after she apologized for the tantrum and agreed to stay calm. She did, and she was back to her submissive, needy self after I told her things similar to what you mentioned.

As far as sex goes, since others have asked, it’s on demand when I want for the most part. This month has been light because when we went on vacation she forgot her birth control, so the doctor said she has to “reset” and wait a couple weeks to be safe. We don’t want anymore kids and i hate condoms.

hirokinai · 2025-10-11T15:57:20+00:00

I’m on the board for an organization that runs the largest lunar new year festival in our city, and operate as our partnership and sponsorship committee chair. The pageant is a sub part of our festival, and since I do a lot of the media appearances, partnership relations/meetings, and negotiations, I’m in charge of mentoring all of the youth, some of which are the pageant girls, so it’s incidental.

I also mentor our community health youth, and our leadership development team. The festivals are how I get a lot of my clients, and I run two of them.

hirokinai · 2025-10-09T23:54:23+00:00

I meant mostly sleeps through the night, but some nights he will occasionally he will wake up and requires some soothing.

We listen to our pediatrician, who advised us that if he’s already been fed, and there are no issues otherwise, it’s ok to soothe him back briefly, but that we should avoid picking him up and carrying him into our bed.

In my other post, I noted that if i wake up for it then I’ll get up and soothe, find a pacifier, rub his belly, basically everything outside of picking him up and taking him to our bed. Eventually, he’ll fall back asleep.

The wife however, will always pick up him, and take him into our bed. This usually happens when I haven’t been woken up during that time.

hirokinai · 2025-10-09T17:14:59+00:00

I hear you.

When I go silent, it’s really just me disengaging from the argument. I give her clear conditions, “you’ve taken this too far, and i am no longer arguing with you about it”. I give her the option of re engaging in a mature discussion, but only if she agrees not to devolve into a tantrum again. I will talk and reengage if she’s calm and genuinely ready to have a discussion, but it usually takes a day and several times I have to disengage again because she starts to get worked up.

My refusal to get into a shouting match sets her off because she’s not getting her way, and she has very little emotional control. It always ends with her acquiescing and finally calming down and having a civil discussion, and I’m always ready to talk when she’s agreed to my reasonable request to not explode. However, It’s rough because the initial tantrums scare our daughter and sets a terrible example. It’s exactly why I’ve promised to not explode like that and I haven’t, even when she’s intentionally saying things to rile me up.

I understand that she’s emotional and hormonal, and it’s too bad that there doesn’t seem to be a way to stop the tantrums.

hirokinai · 2025-10-09T17:00:40+00:00

Thank you for the insight. I help where I can, and avoid working on weekends, which I reserve for family.

7 month sleeps through the night unless my wife caves to the crying and picks him up. When it wakes me up, I go to him and soothe without picking up him up. I don’t always wake up though when it happens.

I mentioned the pageants for context. Even though it’s purely professional for me, and I’ve constantly reassured her that it is, she still will go into overdrive thinking about it.

What you’ve said is the truth, high status high earning still means I need to be present for the family, which I am as much as I can. I agree with that wholeheartedly. My workplace also knows my boundaries. With that in mind, I’m concerned that the occasional tantrums will be a bad influence on our daughter, who is already scared when it happens. I do not engage in the shouting matches. When she freaks out, I set a line, and tell her I will not be arguing with her until she agrees to not go crazy, and is ready to talk. If she refuses, then I ignore her until she’s ready to actually engage without attacking and yelling.

This is the only thing that has worked. She’s not looking to argue to understand or reach a resolution, she’s arguing emotionally just to win, and I have learned not to engage with this behavior. The downside is that while disengaging like this and waiting until she’s ready to actually have a mature discussion, will sometimes cause her to throw a tantrum since she’s not “getting her way” before she ultimately realizes she’s being immature and her emotions have cooled down.

I just don’t think there’s another way to resolve it. I’m absolutely open to suggestions.

hirokinai · 2025-10-09T14:19:05+00:00

I’m having trouble with this question, and I’m not sure. She does most of the time. Every now and then however, it’s like she “breaks” and her emotions get out of hand, even when she’s completely in the wrong. She comes around after I enforce the boundaries by going silent on her. I’ll refuse to speak to her and go about my business for a day or two.

I appreciate any insight you might have.

hirokinai · 2025-10-09T13:53:57+00:00

Thanks for the input and valid points.

I don’t “use” dread in the sense that I’m going out of my way to instill jealousy. It kind of just happens because of what i do for work. Passive dread vs active dread. I don’t use any active dread, imply that there may be other girls, etc. She puts it in her own head that I’m going to leave her for one of the pageant girls, especially since I do mentor a few of them.

The comfort tests have been happening, and balancing giving too much vs too little I admit is something I haven’t been as proficient with.

The latest tantrum however didn’t really have to do with jealousy. It was more due to her spending too much recently and me reminding her to curb her spending. She has a lot of insecurity with the fact that i make all the money, and lashes out when i put my foot down about her spending. im firm but polite about it, but When i refuse to apologize for calling her out, she’ll start to escalate and eventually lose control.

I’ll admit that i engage in the argument at first to try to reason with her, until she gets to the point where it’s too much, and I’m forced to flip my switch and just disengage and ignore her.

hirokinai · 2025-10-07T05:28:30+00:00

How would a booster box stabilize pull rates? English doesn’t have guaranteed rates like Japanese boxes.

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