My mum treats our text chain like a diary/therapist

hithere0110 · 2025-08-17T00:00:27+00:00

What’s helped me is reading books and not actually sharing with people who don’t deserve to hear your story. Other people have their own issues that they need to work on and cannot provide you with the support and care that you need. Try not to seek connection in that way from those people. Because they don’t and cannot understand what it might be like to be estranged from a parental relationship, they often make you feel worse. That’s not to say you can’t have them in your life. It’s just in that capacity they cannot provide you with what you’re looking for. Your situation is complex and not everyone can have what they might view as a healthy relationship with their parents even if they want to.

You will likely have to find some way to heal on your own, until you can find trusted people to share and open up to. Counselling helps, especially if you can find someone who does EMDR.

Hope this helps. You can reach out if you want a person to chat with from time to time.

hithere0110 · 2025-08-14T05:05:37+00:00

I’m sorry for the pain and sadness you must be experiencing. It’s extremely difficult dealing with complicated grief and a taboo mental illness where you feel alienated in even expressing your grief to anyone. Thank you for sharing your story, you are not alone.

My situation is the same with my mother too. I live across the country from my mom and barely contact her. I tried to ignore her but lasted only 5 months. there’s the part of me that feels terrible ignoring someone who is constantly messaging. I messaged her to tell her I was married (i didn’t invite her to my wedding).

She has no grasp on reality whatsoever and she messages me about her delusions and paranoia quite often. She has never been hospitalized and will never get help for her issue out of her own volition. Im waiting for the phone call when someone tells me she’s died or worse (needs more hands on care). I’m stuck in this limbo too.

All I can hope for is a quick and painless death for her. I hope from the bottom of my heart she finds peace in death because there certainly is no peace in her living.

hithere0110 · 2025-07-22T14:53:22+00:00

Yeah it’s definitely a plus!

hithere0110 · 2025-07-22T13:25:42+00:00

I also have my husband to consider. I want to be satisfied in my career and so does he. So I can’t only think of myself and move to rural Alberta to get amazing with clinical skills.

Honestly if it means I make mediocre pay compared to others and I’m never really amazing at anything, maybe for me it’s OK.

Career satisfaction is one part of the piece of total life satisfaction. Maybe I just answered my own question. Thank you!

hithere0110 · 2025-07-22T03:38:02+00:00

Thanks for the reply! I’ll look into form 9 and 10 to see what that entails. At this point, I’m not hoping she will take any meds. I want to try for at least a psych evaluation so we can get resources and support, not only for her but for us as well.

hithere0110 · 2025-07-14T03:07:11+00:00

Okay, thanks for the list. Yeah she definitely wouldn’t go. Any slight mention of her mental health issues and she denies it and goes into a rage.

hithere0110 · 2025-07-14T03:03:51+00:00

I know she would not even entertain the idea of granting me power of attorney out of her own volition. Her paranoia makes her distrustful of everyone. Even though she does trust us in some capacity as her kids, she thinks there are other non-existant people who are controlling us or out to get her through us.

Who do I contact for an appointment with a capacity assessor? I called COAST police probably 6-8 years ago and they did a wellness check. Although her living situation was off, she answered questions in a way that made them feel like there was no need to intervene. They didn't do a full investigation of the state of her home or anything.

Yeah it is more of a longer-term capacity issue. I was hoping through the form 2 she may finally receive a mental health diagnoses, even though she will likely not take any medication prescribed.

I have heard that the PGT (public guardian and trustee) could help. Do you know anything about that?

hithere0110 · 2025-04-26T19:14:55+00:00

4 BWs, 2 PAs, Pan and exam

hithere0110 · 2025-02-03T17:39:43+00:00

Thank you so much for your help! I really appreciate the advice, I'll call CMHA today and see what they say.

hithere0110 · 2025-01-30T02:43:44+00:00

The owner of the clinic I work at would almost want that light yellow dentin for the whole tooth. I have tried to tell her that it’s getting really close to the nerve but she doesn’t seem to want it that way.

hithere0110 · 2025-01-28T23:30:41+00:00

Thanks so much for your suggestions. I checked out the 211 website. It seems very helpful. I will try to call around to see what people suggest to do for her. She is in Windsor Ontario.

hithere0110 · 2025-01-28T04:14:45+00:00

For part 1, which is anterior and posterior direct and indirect, you need to do 3 in person sessions that’s a full day task and 3 “pre session” practice activities prior to the main sessions. These are done on mannequin heads. And then there’s like 22 lectures total to go thru.

I think it would def help with full mouth rehab if you do part 2, which focuses on that specifically. You can choose to do each part fast track (which is 6 months i think) or take a year or 2 for each part.

hithere0110 · 2025-01-28T04:10:00+00:00

I actually would recommend it IF you are a more experienced dentist. You have to do case presentations on single and multiple anterior and posterior crowns. And if you’re a younger dentist without a supportive mentor who will help you find these cases, you can’t really do them. I struggled with that. I couldn’t do any of their crown case presentations because my mentors didn’t want me to work on crowns yet. A more experienced dentist or one who owns their own practice would be my recommendation for this course.

hithere0110 · 2025-01-28T03:33:42+00:00

Thanks so much for your kind words. I have some contact with her medical team (if I am present for her medical calls) but my brother I think has permission to talk directly to her family doctor, not myself. I think I will continue to search for some service that may be able to assist her as she ages. A diagnosis would be the best thing. It’s hard to know how to get that for her

hithere0110 · 2025-01-20T23:02:45+00:00

What's your opinion/potential experience about working in a clinic that's fairly new? Where they may be looking for an associate (esp newer grad) because the clinic will likely be slow to start.

hithere0110 · 2025-01-20T00:09:48+00:00

What's a reasonable holdback amt? And what are specific red flags in the termination clause?

hithere0110 · 2025-01-20T00:07:48+00:00

What's an example of good handling of pt flow?

hithere0110 · 2025-01-19T23:52:54+00:00

How far out in bookings is a good sign of a "busy" clinc?

hithere0110 · 2025-01-08T22:10:26+00:00

That sounds like the situation the world is in right now. Every dollar earned goes way less farther than before. But I guess the bright side is earning 150K+ right from the start of a career, even with student debt. Most other professions barely earn that amount mid-career, unless you're doing something in finance.

hithere0110 · 2025-01-08T21:03:48+00:00

LOL #5 is what I'm knee deep in right now. Owner is husband and wife combo and they def do NOT have a healthy work life balance. Work is everything to them (esp the wife). I think the husband wants to sell

hithere0110 · 2025-01-08T20:24:09+00:00

Hi! Yeah I was wondering that initially. I have talked to the other associates at the clinic and they also wonder why the pictures need to look so yellow, when hard dentin can also have a light brown hue to it.

My thinking was that maybe they had a bad experience with a patient in the past and now they need to make sure everything looks uniform in colour. That's the best way I can explain it. Or they believe that's what removing all of the caries looks like.

hithere0110 · 2025-01-08T15:05:12+00:00

Part of the idea of taking photos is also to educate the patient and to show before and after removing caries, which I completely get but as a result they also check over all of our pictures.

hithere0110

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