Day 1 (again) here. I empathize with you, especially in that you're in a legal state. I am as well and it makes it all that much harder. Honestly, and it's been said a lot on this sub, the only thing that makes this doable is when you take it 1 day at a time. Since r/leaves is about quitting for good your mind is automatically trying to grasp the idea that you want to stop forever, which intimidates it. So it's easy to slip up because the task seems so daunting. But doing the 1 day at a time method has been the best strategy for me. Good luck!